5 Helpful Tips on How to Handle Your Over-Controlling Mother-In-Law

No one is perfect, but we have to acknowledge that our in-laws play a crucial part in our partners’ lives – they’re their parents.

Although it may seem difficult, creating a harmonious environment with your mother-in-law (or monster-in-law) is indeed possible. But to attain this feat requires a certain degree of effort that has to come from both sides, not just from you, but also from your spouse.

It may initially seem a tedious task to build bridges (and to rebuild, as a matter of fact, already collapsed ones), but you will see that by getting along with your mother-in-law, everything will pay out in the future of your relationship that you have with your loved one.

Mothers-in-law are often times overbearing and tend to dictate the relationship that you have with your partner.

You always have to remember that you and only you set the rules of the fame in the marriage, in your marriage.

1. Cooperate

You and your spouse are a team, and automatically team play is involved to make things work smoothly. Never force your partner to choose between you or your mother-in-law, or any other one of their close family members as a matter of fact.

When you’re married, you always have to remember the bond that your partner has with his or her mother. Try to understand their relationship.

2. Always set in place boundaries

As the general rule in life states – everything has its limits.

Once you are married, you have your own inner circle, the right to have peace, love, and understanding with your partner right beside you. You have the right to exclude and to ignore, more or less, anyone who interferes in the harmony of that established inner circle. You have your own family values, and no one has the right to comment on them, especially if they are a toxic person.

If you feel disrespected by your mother-in-law, don’t let the bad words that she spills get to your heart. Although it might seem tempting to fight fire with fire, don’t, because it will only make things worse.

Set your boundaries from the very beginning of your marriage.

This makes things a whole lot easier for the future.

3. Make your spouse understand

What you can actually do to fight off the negativity that your mother-in-law often casts upon you, is to talk more with your partner.

Make him or her aware of what’s happening because, most of the times, our partners have no idea about what’s actually going on behind closed doors with the in-law unless we tell them.

Don’t criticize your mother-in-law harshly in front of your spouse, but make him understand that he always has to stay by your side and that what hurts you also hurts him or her.

4. Try to see everything from her perspective

It requires a certain degree of maturity and calmness to accept the fact that your mother-in-law will never be able to accept your conduct or way of being.

Your mother-in-law loves your spouse, but that doesn’t mean that she also has to love you too. Although most of the times when you visit your mother-in-law she can seem to be a total nightmare (they don’t call them monsters-in-law for nothing), try to smile and keep your spirits high.

Adjust your mood to the current situation, and always try to remember that you cannot expect the type of behavior that you want from your mother-in-law because it is not in her personality to deliver that to you.

5. Speak your mind

When things get too heated up and tensed, and the middle-man (your spouse) doesn’t seem to be doing his job quite right anymore, the only other option available on the table is to speak your mind out in front of your mother-in-law.

Don’t be impolite, don’t be harsh, but be a rebel.

The key here is to build a strategy and handle the situation accordingly.

You don’t want to hurt your mother-in-law’s feelings because then you will automatically also hurt your partner’s feelings. Assertiveness is a key factor here, and most of the times, if you are cunning enough, you can manage to sway your mother-in-law to see your point of view or at least some of it.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less