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How to Increase Emotional Intimacy in Marriage?

How to Increase Emotional Intimacy in Marriage

Fancy vacations and expensive gifts are not going to increase emotional intimacy in a marriage if the basic fundamentals are missing.  This article reviews the basic rules to go by in order to increase emotional intimacy in marriage.  

1. Accept your spouse

The good and the bad.  It’s not until you get married do you get to know your spouse’s living habits and quirks.  Your spouse is your choice and you are the luckiest person in the world. That is the feeling of acceptance.  Don’t make your spouse think they are always coming up short or they don’t know anything.  In other words, don’t make them think they can never satisfy you and their best is just not good enough.  That’s a killer for sure. Sometimes being quiet when you are not happy with something is the best way to let the bad moment pass.  Pick a more constructive time to address issues if necessary.

2. Be honest with each other

The truth may hurt but it is respected and it can keep you in the game.  No one enjoys intimacy with someone they have to keep one eye on. Don’t tell your spouse’s truths and secrets. Being honest and confidential is a huge plus.  There’s something special between people who can keep each other secrets.   Another way to keep honesty between the two of you is to remove habits in your life that block your feelings: drinking too much, over eating, drugs, and extramarital sexual relationships. When a person is undergoing a psychological treatment by a professional doctor, the doctor will discontinue treatment if the patient is taking any type of mind altering drugs. Therefore, to increase emotional intimacy in your marriage cut down on interferences.

3. Smell good

Let’s keep it simple shall we?  Watch your hygiene. Manicures and pedicures are still in style and you can DIY (Do It Yourself) or better still, let your spouse do it for you.  Take turns.  Cleanliness is appreciated.  Buy that nice perfume or cologne.  Have you ever walked by someone and they smelled so good that you had to turn around and take a second sniff?  Have you ever asked someone the name of the perfume or cologne they were wearing? If it happens in the middle of the day, it is a nice surprise. Smelling good is sending sexy talk without even talking. Smell is one of the five senses through which the body experiences the world.

4. Buy some new clothes

The old saying goes, “What it takes to get a person is the same thing it takes to keep them”.  If you take the time to get nice haircuts, color coordinate your clothes and check underwear for wear and tear, then you need to continue to do so.  Jeans are good but let your partner know-you know by being stylish sometimes just for the fun of it.  It will give your spouse that added attention they are not asking for or expecting but glad it is there. It may not be something your spouse needs but it will be something they would definitely want. Neatness impresses people. When you put on nice clothes and your spouse wants to know if something is going on-then you know you are slipping in the swag department. Ladies, charge that sexy dress and guys buy those nice slacks and shirt. If you look like something special then you will be perceived as something special regardless of size, shape or height.

5. Stay in, turn off the TV, and talk

Get some light refreshments and just talk to each other in a sitting room (den or living room) for at least an hour.  Spend some time together to get away from the daily hustle and grind. Put the kids to bed early and relax together.  We grow with our relationships, so talk.  Talk about fun stuff.  This is not a time to go heavy and end up in a crying session.  Rule number one, no talking about other people and intimacy.   You may learn of some secrets, which is ok.  You want to know who you are with and this is how you find out.  Ask questions: If you could do it all over again, what would you change? This is the time to really get to know what is going on with your mate:  new dreams, new friends, or just want to look for a new job.  Do you really want people on your spouse’s job to know your mate better than you do?  Keep up or you will be left behind.  Some people say, I got bored with that person or I outgrew them.  The truth, they grew and the other one did not keep up. Make sure this session ends up in the bedroom.

In conclusion, get back to the basics and remember, it’s the little things that count.  Simply put, it is just between the two of you.  

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