As it is generally known, divorce can be very intense and brutal. Divorce indicates the end of something big. Divorce seems like all the hard work and dedication you had put into a relationship has gone waste. It signifies the end of something big which if not handled carefully, it can change your entire world.
Every divorce is different and every person’s reaction to divorce is different. But common thing among all divorces is that, marriage which once brought joy in the couples’ lives, is at its end and is bringing sorrow, pain and regrets. Unless you had once experienced a divorce before, it is quite difficult to know what you’re in for.
While the fundamentals of divorce are well known to most people—we all have learnt from someone who has gone through a divorce, watched a movie about it, or read a book—the real messy truths about divorce aren’t as well known through other people’s personal experience, movies or even books. You can’t ultimately prepare for this great change in your life but there are some thing you need to know to know. Here are 11 brutal truths about divorce that no one actually tells you.
1. Even if you are over your partner, divorce will be painful
Experiencing a divorce is very hard even if you are prepared for it. You know being with your ex can be toxic and harmful to your physical and emotional health, so you did the right thing by breaking away (divorcing) him or her. But divorce is still hard due to the legal battles; going to court to settle or resolve some things. Socially, people don’t know what to say whenever they see you and so on. You should be prepared for hard times and rough emotions if you want a divorce.
2. Divorce does not make you happier
The major reason you divorced your partner in the first place is that you are no longer happy in the marriage, but going through a divorce doesn’t make you happier. Most people feel freer after the divorce but it never makes them more happy right away. After a divorce, you will feel like you have lost a part of you.
3. If your spouse can’t wait to get divorced, he/she has someone else already
Most reason why your spouse will rush to get you divorce is because he or she has someone else in line. There is somebody ready to take your place in the marriage, even though you might not know about this new person yet. Be ready to face the fact that your spouse seeing someone else, and may even be serious enough to divorce you.
4. A few family members and friends will desert you
At first, most of your ex’s family and friends will isolate you since you are divorced. Even if you’ve become too close to your spouse’s family and friends, right after the divorce, they may cut bonds. Being close with someone that has divorced your friend or family member is hard and awkward.
5. Divorce brings out the evil in people
Divorce means child custody and who gets what financially. Those are two things that can cause nice people to do horrible things(money and children). As a result, in the fight over who gets what, a lot of ugliness can come out.
6. You don’t have to wait for the divorce to be final to make changes in your life
Divorce comes about because something isn’t working well in the relationship. So why do you have to wait until after the divorce to fix what is not working right? Work with what you have now.
7. Your finances will totally change
You will find it very hard to be digging into your finances, especially if you were in the traditional role of being the party who did not pay the bills. Although you get to be independent this way
8. You don’t trust people anymore
After a divorce, you have the mentality that all men/women are the same and they will end up ditching you. You don’t trust what people say. Divorce makes you lose confidence in people and their words.
9. Many divorced couples get back together later
Many divorced couples are still drawn to each other and after a long time of separation and thoughts, they will ultimately fall back in love and reconcile.
10. You are bound to make the same mistakes
After you get divorced, you will definitely find that people who are just like your ex are drawn to you. Whether they’re attracted to you or you subconsciously seek them out, you need to make a conscious effort to correct the pattern or the same story will repeat itself.
11. Divorce isn’t the end for you
Divorce will hurt you and t will be very painful. It may even be shameful and of course, it will be heart-breaking. But despite all the hard stuff you have to face during the divorce process, you will still overcome it.