When a married couple plans to separate, people all around them start to assume that they are headed towards divorce. However, this isn’t always the case.
Most couples rely on temporary separation as a mean of working on their marriage and bringing back the spark in their life when this plan fails some might opt for a divorce whereas some stay in the separation phase for as long as they want.
The question that most couples think about when getting separation is; how many separations end in divorce.
How many separations end in divorce; statistics
Studies suggest even though 87% of couples end up filing for divorce, the remaining 13% reconcile after a separation. However, keep in mind that reconciliation can only happen if both parties are willing for it and if you have a hope of winning back the love you’ve lost.
Reconciliation after separation
Some useful tips for reconciliation include:
1. Choose your words carefully
During separation, it is important that you choose your word very wisely as every word becomes important. When speaking to your spouse keep in mind that they will be listening very intently as to what you say and will be trying to work out how you feel.
If you are quick to judge and put the blame on one another, you will verify that the only viable option is divorce.
2. See things from their view
Now that you have ample of space to think to make good use of it.
Immediately, stop trying to justify yourself and instead use this time to try and see things from their point of view.
During this separation period try to understand how your partner feels when you do something wrong in the relationship and make amends to fix this issue.
3. Avoid being needy
People opt for separation when they need time to think and be by themselves, if you continue being needy in this time then this will turn off your spouse.
Since they are not in a mood to be around you then stalking them, bugging them or begging for them to come back will only ruin your relationship and push them further away.
Being needy will make way to divorce.
4. Maintain connection
Since you both are making changes in your life, things are bound to affect your relationship in some way or another.
Even if you feel you haven’t changed a bit, your spouse might feel different and interact with you differently. You will not carry the annoying, frustrating and blaming aura around you and this will be very visible to your spouse.
In times like this, it is essential that you reach out to your spouse and make plans to hang out together instead of completely shutting him or her out. This way you won’t feel the need to forget your previous life and move on too quickly.
And just because you are not moving quickly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t maintain a connection with your spouse; instead of being strangers try to include your partner in your life. Make sure they are aware of every large event happening around you. This way you will increase the chances of reconciling with your significant other.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.