Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most distressing processes to endure. Although every divorce situation is unique, there are certain common divorce mistakes that people deliberately or inadvertently tend to commit.
Some people hurry to get into a relationship amid the divorce process or as soon as the legal proceedings are over.
However, it is critical to wait a minimum of one year from the actual date of the divorce before getting into a serious relationship with someone else. This allows time for the needed healing and growth.
So, here are a couple of common divorce mistakes that you must take cognizance of, and avoid if you are in a similar situation yourself.
1. Plunging into a new relationship too soon
Going through a divorce, everyone feels emotionally beat up, and self-esteem is at its lowest. Consequently, they are very vulnerable and are likely to get involved with the very first kind person that comes along.
Getting into another relationship on the “rebound” usually leads to a calamity.
This is an example of “jumping from the frying pan into the fire.” So, one of the biggest divorce mistakes to avoid is impulsively plunging into a new relationship
2. Overlooking the mistakes committed in your past relationship
The individual does not take a serious look at his/ her contributions to the marriage breakup.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Seeing couples heal from their painful relationships is one of the most rewarding parts of my daily interaction with my clients. In the past few years I completed Level III of the Gottman's training. With the combination of years of counseling experience and the remarkably effective Gottman research findings, I see healing even in couples that have nearly given up. Another population is working with blended families. My wife and I have four children, including two step-daughters and have found firsthand how complicated (and how rewarding) step-families are. I also work with individuals suffering from anxiety and depressive disorders; this includes PTSD and OCD complications. Continuing education is a regular part of my professional development to learn the newest and most effective treatment. I have worked extensively with addiction, from alcohol and drugs to the complex and heartbreaking consequences of sexual addiction.
At seventeen years old, I signed up to go into the military; the US Coast Guard. It's hard to put into words how important these 4 years were in my development as a young man. I was an electronic technician and radioman on search and rescue flights out of Miami, Florida. I feel so honored to have served our country in this capacity. This experience helps me to better relate and understand the stressors that other military families are facing and how to be supportive of them in the counseling process.
Another area of advanced training in Marriage and Family Counseling was when I went through the rigorous supervision & evaluation to become an Approved Supervisor with the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. I was also a Field Practicum Supervisor at the University of Virginia. I am licensed in the Commonwealth of Virginia as a Professional Counselor and as a Marriage and Family Therapist. I am a Clinical Fellow with the AAMFT and continue to provide supervision for counselors in the Commonwealth of Virginia.
In March 2020, we started providing video conferencing; also called telehealth. With the use of confidential webcams systems, we are able to provide counseling throughout the state of Virginia. We have a group of Christian counselors that provide a professional relationship, accountability and collegial case reviews when needed. We approach our counseling from an "evidence based" understanding of effective treatment; with Christian "faith based" integration to our counseling.
I completed my Masters Degree (Masters of Marriage, Family and Child Counseling) at Azusa Pacific University (California Family Study Center in Los Angeles). I was in private practice in the Los Angeles area for eight years before moving to Charlottesville, VA. My training in family systems and many years of clinical and supervisory experience shapes my cognitive behavior approach to counseling. I enjoy working with individuals as well as with couples and families.
You can reach me, Larry French, check us out at www.VCFR.us
(Larry L. is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Charlottesville)