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How to Be Independent While Married

Be independent while married

We can all benefit from time alone, once in awhile. Time alone can be therapeutic, restful, and a great way to keep up with your interests and hobbies. Time alone can also make time with your spouse even more meaningful to you both. Finding ways to create time for yourself, however, can be a challenge.  

 

Here are some guidelines on how to carve out independent time without distancing yourself from your spouse:

Meditate

Studies show that copious health benefits can come from regular meditation.   Meditation is known to calm your mind and body, improve mood, and boost self-esteem levels.  Meditation can be a great example of an activity you do, exclusively for yourself, that doesn’t require money or leaving your home. Taking the time to meditate, even just for 15 minutes daily can be a great escape from your responsibilities and a healthy break from constant interaction with your partner.

Take a drive

Research indicates that many individuals report enjoying their daily commute to work because of the time alone in their cars, as well as the opportunity to listen to the radio. If you’re craving time alone, adding a few extra minutes and taking the scenic route home from work can be a great way to carve out some independent time. An extended drive can be a peaceful way to check-in with yourself without taking too much distance from your partner on a regular basis.

Plan ahead

Planning ahead and being organized about your self-care responsibilities can benefit your health and create regular independent time. For instance, exercising either directly before or after work can mean your exercise routine is attached to your workday. Having a routine that doesn’t break up your day can mean you consistently squeeze in alone time without compromising time with your spouse. When you procrastinate on daily responsibilities, you may find yourself having to take time away from your spouse to get them done in a way that is more noticeable than if it’s simply part of your daily routine.

 

Being independent while married means being who you are and not the version of your that your spouse wants. Love your partner’s individuality for what they are and not in spite of it. Preserving your individuality gives a sense of strength and longevity to your relationship.

  VERIFIED EXPERT
Denise Limongello, LMSW, is a passionate and dedicated therapist who obtained her graduate degree from Columbia University, School of Social Work. She is also a graduate of Miss Porter’s School and Tulane University. Denise began her clinical career at The Renfrew Center of New York and has since then worked across all levels of care including Inpatient, Partial Hospitalization, Intensive Outpatient, and Outpatient, Private Practice settings.

More by Denise Limongello

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