12 Practical Tips for Aiding Your Marriage Journey

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Marriage is often called a “journey,” but marriage is far more important than the honeymoon trip you might take after you say, “I Do” in front of family and friends.

When you choose to share your life with someone and make it legal through marriage, the “journey” becomes your path together. Someone once said, “Marriage is, and will always be, the most important journey of discovery that a man could ever do.” 

That someone was the Danish philosopher Kierkegaard, and hopefully, your marriage journey is for life. Let’s talk about marriage as a journey and how to overcome the bumps in the road and make tough choices along the way—as if we’re talking about a roadmap.

The hills and valleys of marriage

There is a general belief that marriage officially starts after your wedding ceremony, so your journey is more than a one-day event and a marriage certificate. A Met Church wedding ceremony celebrates the beginning of your journey together.

In the first few months after your wedding, you may begin to experience the newlywed hills and valleys of marriage. 

Newly married couples feel the excitement of new shared experiences, but living together can also mean a period of significant adjustment, and you may find the journey challenging if you have different opinions or do things differently.

So, to help you understand what “marriage is a journey” signifies, we have tips you can use in the roadmap of your marriage journey as newlyweds!

12 helpful ways to aid your marriage journey

In a marriage, every day presents an opportunity to strengthen your bond and deepen your connection with your partner. Here are 12 valuable ways to support and enrich your marriage journey:

1. Be clear in the direction you want to take together

A successful journey requires clear directions, and in your marriage, healthy communication is vital in making your marriage a success.

Here are some directions to help you:

• Use kindness and respect with each other when you communicate
• Express your feelings honestly but not harshly
• Listen to each other and understand what each other wants and needs
• Talk often to keep your line of communication open.

Communication can mean discussing household issues like bills or children’s activities. Still, it’s even more important for a married couple to keep sharing their private thoughts and feelings from the very beginning of their journey.

2. Take a break and tell your spouse you’re thankful for them

When you take a moment to appreciate your spouse, it can make a sometimes difficult journey easier. There are many parts of your life to appreciate, especially when every day becomes hectic. 

If one partner makes dinner, the other might go grocery shopping or help kids with their homework. It goes a long way when you tell your partner how thankful you are for them and grateful for the roles they take on that make your family life work even better.

3. Plan time for the two of you

Your life together might become too busy to plan getaways constantly, but keeping your romance alive is still important.

You can plan a date night, and you don’t even have to leave home! If you have kids, ask a relative or a sitter to take them—that way, you can go out for dinner or stay in, relax, and enjoy each other in privacy.

4. Put yourself first sometimes

In the journey of marriage, it’s a good idea to put some of your focus on your personal growth and interests.

Finding “alone time” can become more difficult in a busy life, especially if you have children, but when you take time for yourself or your friends, enroll in a class, or do volunteer work, you can build your self-esteem and bring a better you to your marriage.

5. You might disagree on which way to go

There can be more than one way to reach a destination, and you and your spouse might disagree on the road to take during your wedding journey. 

Disagreements are a normal part of life, and when you approach conflict fairly and respectfully, you will get through any bumps in the road. 

Here are things to remember:

• Listen to your spouse, and ask them to listen to you
• If you feel frustrated or angry, walk away from the problem until you both calm down
• When you feel better, discuss the issue again
• Finding a compromise where you both “give a little” often solves the disagreement in the most satisfactory way.

Other “bumps in the road” during a marriage journey include heavy criticism or feelings of defensiveness and contempt. In the worst case, these destructive tendencies can cause a couple to separate or divorce.

Your commitment to your spouse, family, and the life you’re building together is essential on your marriage journey. Any relationship should grow and change positively over the years. When you support each other emotionally, you’ll be even more successful.

6. Take the path of responsibility

Researchers have studied how couples can effectively disagree without becoming hostile. When two people take responsibility for their words and behavior, they are more likely to make up after a fight and quickly mend any temporary damage to their relationship

7. Bring forgiveness on your journey

It can help you both to remember that we all make mistakes! Your spouse might say something that upsets you or makes you angry, and you might hurt their feelings in other ways. 

The most important thing to keep with you on your marriage journey is forgiveness—the ability to let go of hurt or anger and move on. Reliving the past can only make things worse.

8. Don’t be afraid of challenges on your journey

In some marriages, a mistake can be incredibly hard to forgive. It can put a lot of pressure on your relationship, and sometimes, the only cure is time and open, honest communication.

If you or your spouse ever feel like you’re being punished for a crime committed long ago, it might cause another feeling of being disconnected from your marriage. This can lead to bitterness and a sensation that “all hope is lost,” which can seem like a losing battle.

These hard challenges can test the strongest of marriages. So before you raise the white flag and give up on your relationship, call on your faith and work hard to find joy in your marriage because it is still there most of the time.

9. Intimacy is more than a destination

You may or may not be in sync with your spouse when it comes to physical intimacy. Still, you can always be attentive to your spouse’s desires and needs and maintain a healthy, satisfying connection that goes beyond sex as the “final destination” in intimacy.

Open communication is vital throughout your marriage journey, and acknowledging the little things can help create a long-lasting and fulfilling partnership.

Intimacy is not just a destination; it’s the small ways we connect through our emotions and vulnerability. When we trust our spouses with our deepest desires and needs, we experience more satisfaction and genuine connection in our relationship.

It can help to remember that your partner probably isn’t a mind reader, and people can and do approach their physical intimacy in different ways. Your marriage can only benefit when you talk openly and privately about this important subject.

10. Have fun on your marriage journey

A great sense of humor is one of the best things to take on your marriage journey. When a couple loves to laugh and have fun together, it can create lasting happiness for the whole family. 

You don’t always have to take yourselves too seriously, and when you can find joy in the simple moments, it can ease those bumps in the road and bring you even closer.

Remind your spouse about a funny memory or share a light-hearted moment during your day. These little things can strengthen your bond even more.

11. Don’t stop dating

Try not to put a stop sign on the fun you had earlier on in your relationship. In order to keep your marriage exciting, couples can follow the “never stop dating” idea.

Yes, your marriage will grow and evolve over time, but your love gets stronger when you keep the excitement of “date night” alive.

Watch this video where Apollonia Ponti, a dating & relationship coach, shares her ideas on how you can keep your relationship interesting:

12. You will go through changes

As you and your spouse evolve and change over time, you will journey together through these changes. While you might be able to return home physically, the changes you will experience during your marriage might be permanent and should be embraced.

A marriage might not succeed when partners try to remain the same or even turn back time. When love begins, you might feel “butterflies.” As love changes and grows, it evolves into mutual respect and appreciation of each other’s strengths.

There is a roadmap to marriage

Understand that your marriage journey won’t always be easy. When partners dedicate themselves to marriage and make an effort and commitment, you will enjoy a long-lasting relationship that grows stronger throughout your lifetime. 

While it may have ups and downs, this path is rich with opportunities for personal and mutual growth. By facing challenges together and choosing each other every day, you can build a foundation of trust, understanding, and deep affection.