"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." - George Levinger, Psychologist
You want to connect and feel more securely attached with your partner. Unhealthy relationship patterns do not just happen over night, and they may not change over night either. The consequences of inaction and maintenance of the status quo are huge.
You and your partner can, hopefully, at least agree that whatever plan you may have had to sort things out for your relationship wasn't really working, and it seems like you need a new plan. Couples in relationship may have several reasons for starting couples therapy. Whatever your reasons, they're personal. Please let me know whenever you're ready to get to work.
