9 Things to Avoid on Your First Date

Mary J Gibson

Mary J. Gibson is a relationship and dating expert based out of California. You can read her thoughts about Relationships at DatingXP Magazine. She likely wrote this post... Read more

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Updated: 25 Nov, 2022

Table of Contents

Be kind to everyone you meet, because showing respect and warmth helps your date feel seen and builds trust between you.
Show up prepared and clean with good hygiene and a thoughtful vibe, because effort signals you value the moment and want to connect.
Ask and listen with care, ask about them, share space, and resist talking only about yourself so you both feel heard and closer.

Your hands are clammy, your heart’s pounding and your synapses are frying with how fast your brain is running to do and say the right things.

It may be just a first date but you’re basically a bundle of nerves and you are hyper-aware of everything you say and do because you want to impress your date so much and it is just so nerve-wracking.

Few first-time daters prefer making a quick research on the internet. Searches for topics like ‘things to avoid on your first date,’ ‘how to make a good impression on a first date,’ ‘what should you not do on a first date,’ and so on are always high on the World Wide Web. It is just an attempt on the part of the first-time daters to ensure everything is perfect, right from their attires to their attitude while on the first date.

First dates can make you nervous and it is natural to feel as such, especially when the stranger you’re about to meet might end up becoming an important part of your life. Unfortunately, your nerves can make you say or do things you should not do on a first date or wouldn’t normally.

However, fortunately, we’re here to help you with things to avoid on your first date.

If you’re wondering what to not do on your first date, here are 9 things you should avoid doing or saying on your first date:

1. Don’t forget your manners

They say chivalry is dead but don’t prove them right.

Hold the doors open, say thank you and please, and eat with your mouth shut—this is a major pet peeve for some people. Be polite and friendly to not just to your date but to everyone around you, especially servers or waiters.

Your date will usually judge you based on how you treat others than how you treat them. This is one of the nine things to avoid on your first date – speaking rudely with the servers or waiters.

2. Don’t skimp on personal hygiene

As the saying goes, first impressions are everything.

They are important because the second date might depend on how you present yourself on the first date. Shower, brush your teeth, and change into nice, clean clothes and so on.

Always treat every first date like a special day. After all, you could be meeting your future significant other on that date.

3. Don’t forget to ask questions about them

Talking about yourself non-stop is a big no-no when it comes to things you should not be doing on your first date. This should be one of the few things to avoid on your first date.

When you are nervous, it is easy to fall into a trap and keep running your mouth. You may forget to ask your date anything and learn about them. Your date wants to tell you about themselves too, so let them talk as well.

Try to divide time equally between you both during the date, so when you ask a question, pay attention to their answers and vice versa.

4. Let the other person talk

Most people find it very impolite if they’re asked questions and someone else answers them on their behalf.

So, don’t order for your date, unless they asked you explicitly. And never talk over them, it makes you look like you do not care about their opinions.

5. Don’t comment on what they are or are not eating

Don’t comment on what they are or are not eating

The primary thing to never ever mention on a first date is their appetite.

Whether they are eating a lot or not much, rest assured that they do not want you to start a conversation about it. By all means, you can keep an eye to see if they like the food or not (and it could be a nice segue to your next date where you can order a specific item they liked the last time and surprise them!), but do not do anything more.

If you are listing out first date mistakes you should avoid, then you can add this point to it.

6. Don’t get drunk

Some people turn to liquid courage to help them get through their first dates, and there is no harm in a drink or two but you really should pay attention to not getting completely sloshed.

Alcohol can end up loosening your tongue that may lead to you saying things you weren’t planning to share. It also lowers your inhibitions, which may cause to things going further than you’d planned.

What should you expect on a first date? Surely, not this behavior. Alcohol is one of the many things to avoid on your first date.

There is a lot of time to get closer to your date and know them better. No one appreciates a date that slurs their words or finds it hard to not keep their eyes open due to drinking more than accepted. And finally, don’t ever leave your drinks unattended on your first date, no matter how much you think you can trust them.

7. Don’t use the words “My Ex”

Lastly, the biggest no-no: talking about your ex. It is an obvious rule but you’ll be surprised how easy it’s to start thinking about your ex when you find yourself in a romantic setting.

No matter how your last relationship ended, don’t talk about it on your first date. Living in the past will make it look like you’re not ready to date and mentioning your ex will make your date feel like perhaps you’re comparing them with your ex.

Mentioning your ex is definitely one of the things to avoid on your first date.

8. Don’t comment on their dress either

Your date may be wearing a loose t-shirt and sneakers or they can be wearing a dress and heels, but it is not recommended to start the conversation with “That t-shirt/dress…isn’t too bright/drab?”

Just because they are not dressed according to your standards, doesn’t mean you cancel them on sight. They could have a million reasons for choosing to wear what they are wearing.

For instance, perhaps your date has flat feet and dress shoes are simply too painful, or they can genuinely love heels since it makes them feel confident.

9. To makeup or not to makeup

Some women like that sweep of red on their lips and some men may prefer to wear some sort of face product—it is just their personal preference.

But if you don’t like it on them, you cannot say it outright to their faces either. It is rude and impolite, and chances are they are doing it more for themselves than for you.

Getting nervous is not a crime.

In fact, it is obvious you will be tense about meeting who could become a significant part of your life. You would want to avoid making any bad moves and jeopardizing your chances, so a slip-up here or there is understandable. And you will make some mistakes before you get the hang of things.

So, if you want a checklist of 9 things to avoid on your first date, go through this article which will help you make it through your first date.

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