I’m not joking. There really is a simple way of making your marriage last forever. But if it’s so simple why don’t most marriages last forever? Good question. It’s because the long lost art of creating quality friendships has been lost.
Most of us only stay in contact with people who we are “connected” to on social media. We don’t connect as much like we used to by sitting across the table (without our phone or other electronic device) and having a conversation with the one sitting across from us or creating more memories than selfies. I’m not anti-social media or technology by any means but as an observer of people I have noticed as well as studies have shown the amount of physical connection between people has declined.
We don’t know what it’s like to respectfully disagree with one another. Nowadays if you don’t like what someone says or their opinion, all you have to do is take a screenshot of the comment, post it on your page and rip the person and their opinion to shreds.
Yikes. I know you’ve seen it happen.
Nevertheless no matter how technologically advanced we get, some foundational requirements will never change. The requirement of having a genuine relationship with your spouse is what will cause your marriage to last forever.
Dealing with disagreements in a marriage
It’s an easy enough concept. When all the butterflies are gone and the disagreements start to happen and the rose colored glasses start to clear up and the lightning bolts when you kiss turn into little buzzes and reality begins to infiltrate your cocoon of love the strong, solid foundation of a relationship will be required to usher the two of you into the what I call ‘doing life together forever’ phase.
Friendship in marriage
That strong foundation is going to be the strength of your friendship with your spouse. Most people won’t say it but a strong relationship that is time-tested is going to be a marriage that has a strong foundation of friendship. Without a solid friendship good things that you and your styles will go through whether it’s trust issues, career changes, midlife crisis, or infidelity, or the growth of children your friendship helps you to keep a proper perspective.
There’s so much that comes with then having a quality relationship such as mutual respect that allows effective communication to take place; an easy discourse when two opinions are not the same; a person that you desire to love you through thick or thin; working through the inevitable [healthy] hurts and pains that comes with loving another person. A marriage requires 10X that plus a heaping doses of forgiveness.
Friendship plus passion equals a fulfilling marriage
If you are going to last forever with your spouse as you intended when you exchanged your vows your friendship is going to be paramount. Don’t put it on the back burner don’t allow situations and circumstances to pull you guys apart. If you’ve been through so much within your relationship and you feel like giving up seek therapy or counseling first to see if the friendship you have with your spouse is worth repairing and repairable. Sometimes a neutral third-party’s insight can be the difference between just tolerating each other to re-igniting the fire between two of you.
Work on your friendship with your lifelong best friend, your spouse. It’s the best investment you will make and the return will be for eternity.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
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