Hang around any coffee house or bar long enough and you might hear the murmurs of disappointment coming from people:
“I don’t want to get married. All I want is a friend with benefits.”
“He has zero interest in a committed relationship.”
The general consensus we are hearing from people nowadays is that less people out there are interested in putting a ring on it.
Even if it may feel like men are not marrying or interested in getting married, it is not true.
Sure, the percentage of never married men has been consistently rising, as per the U.S. Census Bureau. But still, the majority of men get married at least once in their lifetime.
But what about all the others?
Why are we seeing this decrease in the desire to commit? What are men afraid of? Why has men not marrying become a matter of concern?
This article discusses the real reasons that will help you understand how deep the problem goes.
5 reasons why men are not marrying
You might be looking for answers if your boyfriend doesn’t want to get married despite being in love with you. For you, marriage might be the natural next step, but marriage might be problematic for men not getting married.
Maybe he doesn’t believe in marriage, as he considers it complicated, unnatural or archaic. For some who don’t believe in marriage, the societal pressure or expectation to get married might create an aversion towards marriage.
Here are some possible reasons why men are not marrying at the rates that they used to:
1. The perception of loss of freedom
One of the men’s biggest fears about marriage? That they may suffer a loss of freedom.
The dread of losing one’s ability to freely make decisions for all aspects of their life can be why some men never marry.
Some men might be afraid to forsake the freedom to indulge in their favorite hobbies activities as they like. Freedom to hang around and watch Netflix all weekend long without someone compelling them to get up off the couch.
Marriage might be seen as a ball and chain, weighing them down
These men are not seeing the emotional and physical advantages of being in a union with someone they truly love; they only see the loss of their liberty.
So, single men fearing the loss of freedom tops the reasons why men don’t marry and why they propagate the idea that it is good for a man not to marry.
2. Fears about a potential divorce
There are a whole lot of men out there who have seen the emotional and economic damage divorce brings to the family unit. Men not marrying could be because they presume that a divorce is imminent. This fear might make them overlook the benefits of getting married.
Single men who avoid marriage may have grown up in a broken home, or they have “been there, done that” and don’t want to ever find themselves in such a vulnerable position again.
They think that history will repeat itself, so it is better not to create a new history with a new woman.
The problem with this mindset is that all love stories are different. Just because you’ve lived through one divorce does not foretell that you’ll have another one.
If the man you are interested in has been scarred by divorce, ask him about his fears and discuss how things might play out differently in your relationship.
There are plenty of divorced men out there who have gone on to have successful second marriages. There is no need to build emotional walls just because a previous union did not work out.
And indeed, depending on the app used, men can swipe, chat, and hook up in a matter of hours. For a man who has no interest in commitment, this is the perfect tool for him to find an endless supply of sexual satisfaction and non-committal engagement.
For non-committal men, marriage can mean imprisonment. Men are not marrying in these situations because they might feel that their emotional, sexual, social and romantic needs are being met.
Married men even have better sex lives: contrary to what you’d think if you listen to single guys boast about their sex lives. Men who never marry might be unaware of this aspect of marriage.
According to the National Health and Social Life Survey, 51 percent of married men were extremely satisfied with their sex lives. In comparison, only 39 percent of men living with women without being married to them, and 36 percent of single men, could say the same.
Men are not marrying because they may fail to realize that married sex can be incredible due to the strong emotional bond married partners often share. This allows for some fantastic fireworks in the bedroom.
Studies confirm that marriage offers continual benefits for men’s finances, their sex lives, and their physical and mental health.
Why are men avoiding marriage if there are so many benefits to marriage?
Reasons to not get married for certain men is that they still believe in the ball-and-chain myth. Men not marrying view marriage as an expensive obstacle to their freedom and sex lives.
The media perpetuate these views in today’s culture, which has undoubtedly negatively affected men’s views towards marriage. Premarital counseling might be required to help address these concerns.
A study conducted by the Pew Research Center shows that 23 percent of American men have never been married. It supports the claim that men marry at different rates than before.
Is it good for a man to not get married?
Research shows various health benefits for men who choose to get married. They have been seen to have lower stress levels, better diet, more regular health checkups, better care during illness and a much lower sense of loneliness.
There is an increase in the overall number of men who never marry. The trend leads to concerns that there might come a time when no man wants to be a husband, as it involves making adjustments and opening yourself to the possibility of getting hurt.
However, marriage can benefit men significantly by offering ways to improve their mental and physical health. It can offer companionship and the ability to deal with stress better.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.