What Is Tiger Parenting? Benefits, Risks & Examples

Tiger parenting is a parenting style known for strict rules and high expectations. In this article, you will learn what it is, its benefits, and the risks it poses for you to decide if it’s right for you. 

Tiger parenting uses punishment as a motivator, such as physical discipline or verbal abuse, forcing children to comply with their expectations and damaging a child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

What is tiger parenting style?

Tiger parenting is a parenting style that emphasizes strict rules and high expectations for children, often at the detriment of their emotional well-being. It is most commonly associated with East Asian cultures, but it can be found in other cultures as well. 

Amy Chua, a professor of law at Yale University, wrote about tigers in her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.”

However, it is important for parents to consider the potential negative consequences of this approach and to balance high expectations with love and support for their children.

5 examples of tiger parenting

Now that you know what tiger parenting pros and cons are all about. Here are some tiger parenting examples:

1. Focusing on academic success

Tiger parents often prioritize academic success and excellence in their studies which involves enrolling them in rigorous academic programs, hiring tutors or instructors, and setting high expectations for grades.

2. Control over their behavior

Tiger parents monitor and control their children’s behavior, including their friendships, extracurricular activities, and even their hobbies. They may monitor their children’s social media use and impose strict curfews.

3. Punitive measures

Tiger dads may use discipline and punishment to ensure their children adhere to their expectations. This may include taking away privileges, withholding affection or praise, or using physical discipline.

4. Hard work and perseverance equal success

Tiger parents may emphasize the value of hard work and perseverance to achieve success. They may encourage their children to practice for hours, even if they don’t enjoy it, believing that persistence will lead to success.

5. Enforced music or language learning

Tiger parents might insist that their children learn to play musical instruments or acquire additional languages from a very young age. This often includes daily practice sessions, formal lessons from skilled instructors, and high expectations for mastery and performance in these areas. 

Tiger parents may also require their children to participate in recitals or language competitions to showcase their proficiency.

5 possible benefits of tiger parenting

Tiger parenting is characterized by strict rules and discipline, a focus on academic success, and a belief that their children can excel in anything they put their minds to. Some of the key features of tiger parenting include:

• High expectations

Tiger parents set high expectations for their children’s academic achievements and expect them to aim for excellence in all aspects of their lives.

• Focus on respect for authority

Tiger parents value obedience and respect for authority, including parents, teachers, and other adults. Children are expected to follow the rules and behave appropriately at all times.

• Development of strong work ethic

Children raised under tiger parenting often develop a strong work ethic. The demanding nature of this parenting style teaches them the value of hard work and effort from an early age, which can translate into diligent habits in both academic and professional settings.

• Enhanced time management skills

Due to the rigorous schedules and expectations placed on them, children of tiger parents typically learn to manage their time efficiently. This skill can be invaluable as they grow older, helping them to balance various responsibilities more effectively.

• Competitive advantage in academic and professional arenas

The focus on academic excellence can prepare children for high levels of achievement in school and beyond. This often gives them a competitive edge in college admissions and later in the job market, where discipline and a strong academic background are highly valued.

These benefits reflect the potential positive outcomes of tiger parenting when balanced with supportive elements to ensure children also develop healthy social and emotional skills.

5 risks of tiger parenting

Tiger parenting, a strict and high-discipline approach, prioritizes academic success and obedience, setting high standards for children. While it can foster certain skills and competencies, this parenting style is also fraught with potential emotional and social risks. 

Here are five significant drawbacks that may arise from the intense pressures and expectations of tiger parenting:

1. Increased anxiety and stress

The high demands and constant pressure to perform can lead to significant stress and anxiety in children. This can manifest in various ways, including sleep disturbances, social withdrawal, and extreme pressure to meet parental expectations.

2. Low self-esteem

Children raised by tiger parents might develop low self-esteem if they feel they cannot meet the high standards set for them. This sense of perceived failure can affect their overall self-image and confidence.

3. Impaired social skills

Given the intense focus on academic achievement and obedience, children might have fewer opportunities to interact socially and develop interpersonal skills. This can lead to difficulties in forming and maintaining friendships and later relationships.

4. Rebellion against authority

While tiger parenting aims to foster respect for authority, it can sometimes have the opposite effect. Some children may grow resentful of the constant control and pressure, leading to rebellious behavior as they seek independence.

5. Restricted emotional growth

The emphasis on discipline and success might limit children’s ability to express themselves emotionally. This restriction can hinder their emotional intelligence, making it difficult for them to manage emotions or empathize with others effectively.

5 possible effects of tiger parenting on a child

While some children may thrive under pressure and high expectations, others may struggle with the stress and anxiety associated with this approach. Some of the effects of tiger parenting include:

• High levels of stress

Children of tiger parents may experience high levels of stress and anxiety due to the pressure to succeed, leading to physical and emotional health problems, including depression, anxiety, and sleep disturbances.

• Strained parent-child relationships

Tiger parenting can strain parent-child relationships, as children may feel that their parents are overly strict and controlling, leading to a breakdown in communication and a lack of trust between parents and children.

• Decreased self-esteem

Children raised under tiger parenting may develop lower self-esteem. Constant criticism and high expectations can make children feel inadequate if they fail to meet their parents’ standards, which can persist into adulthood.

• Limited social skills

The intense focus on academic and personal success may limit these children’s opportunities to interact socially and develop friendships. This can result in poor social skills and difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships.

• Fear of failure

The emphasis on perfection and high achievement might instill a profound fear of failure in children. This fear can prevent them from taking risks or trying new activities where they might fail, stifling personal growth and exploration.

To truly grasp the effects of tiger parenting, check out this video where the child of a tiger mom speaks out:

FAQs

Here are the answers to some pressing questions about it that can bring in more clarity and understanding about what may work better for your child:

• What is tiger mom vs. elephant mom?

Tiger moms are known for pushing their children to excel, often with intense pressure and discipline. On the other hand, an elephant mom is a nurturing and supportive parent who emphasizes emotional intelligence and empathy. 

It’s important to note that every family is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Parents are to decide what kind of parenting style they want to adopt based on their own values and beliefs.

• What is snowplow parenting?

Snowplow parents may intervene in their child’s life by clearing obstacles to their success, overseeing every aspect of their development, and preventing their child from failure.

The long-term effects of snowplow parenting can be detrimental to children, as they may struggle with decision-making, lack of independence, inability to handle failures, anxiety, and depression.

• Is tiger parenting good for children?

Tiger parenting can be beneficial for some children who respond well to structure and high expectations, potentially leading to academic success and strong discipline. However, it may also cause stress, anxiety, and strained relationships, making it less suitable for children who thrive in more supportive and less pressurized environments.

• What is the psychology behind tiger parenting?

The psychology behind tiger parenting is rooted in a desire for excellence and fear of failure. Parents often believe that strict oversight and high expectations will prepare children for a competitive world, instilling resilience and self-discipline. This approach reflects values emphasizing success and achievement as primary goals in child-rearing.

Final thoughts

While Tiger parenting can lead to successful, high-achieving children, it can also be damaging to a child’s emotional well-being. Parents who choose this approach should be aware of the potential risk and strive to balance high expectations with love and support for their children. 

The goal of parenting should be to raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children, and this requires a holistic approach that considers all aspects of a child’s development. Talk to a therapist if you are dealing with tiger parenting mental health problems.

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Meghan Beverly Psychiatrist

Meghan Beverly is a wife and mother who has had her fair share of relationship fun and folly. She's looking to pass her experiences and wisdom along to help other couples... Read more on their road to marriage and parenthood. Read less