Mom Burnout: Symptoms, Causes, & Ways to Recover

Have you ever felt an overwhelming sense of exhaustion that seems to permeate every aspect of your life, even the parts that once brought joy? 

As mothers juggle the demands of child-rearing, work, household chores, and personal well-being, the weight of these responsibilities can sometimes become too much to bear. 

The term “mom burnout” has emerged to describe this unique form of emotional, physical, and mental fatigue that many mothers experience. 

But what exactly are the signs that you might be suffering from mom burnout? What causes this intense feeling of being drained, and more importantly, how can one bounce back from it? Is it possible to rediscover the joy and fulfillment that motherhood once brought?

What is mom burnout?

Or what is mommy burnout?

Mom burnout is a specific type of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion experienced by mothers due to the relentless demands of parenting combined with other life responsibilities. It arises when a mother feels overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant expectations. 

This burnout often results in feelings of detachment, inefficiency, and a sense of despair. The continuous cycle of caregiving, multitasking, and often neglecting one’s own needs can lead to this state. 

Unlike temporary fatigue, mom burnout is persistent and can significantly impact a mother’s well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.

What causes mom burnout?

Motherhood, while rewarding, can be an intense journey filled with pressures and expectations. Several factors contribute to the onset of mom burnout, including:

• Constant caregiving without breaks.
• High expectations and societal pressures.
• Lack of support from partners or family.
• Financial stress and work-related pressures.
• Sleep deprivation and physical exhaustion.
• Feeling isolated or disconnected.
• Inability to prioritize self-care.
• Overwhelming household responsibilities.
• Juggling multiple roles simultaneously.
• Comparing oneself to other mothers.
• Unresolved emotional or mental health issues.

11 common mom burnout symptoms

Motherhood, a journey filled with love, joy, and challenges, can sometimes push mothers to their limits. Recognizing the signs of mommy burnout is crucial for seeking help and finding balance. Here are 11 symptoms to watch out for:

1. Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities

When a mother starts losing interest in activities she once loved—be it reading, crafting, exercising, or any other hobby—it can be a red flag. This disinterest is more than just a passing phase; it’s one of the mommy burnout symptoms that shows a disconnect from personal joys and passions.

2. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope

The daily tasks of motherhood, which once seemed manageable, now feel like insurmountable challenges. This constant feeling of being overwhelmed can make a mother doubt her capabilities, leading to a vicious cycle of stress and anxiety.

3. Increased irritability and mood swings

Feeling burnt out as a mom can manifest in heightened emotional responses. A usually patient mother might find herself snapping at her children or partner for minor reasons. These mood swings and bouts of irritability can strain familial relationships and indicate deeper emotional turmoil.

4. Persistent feelings of inadequacy

The question, “Am I burned out?” might be accompanied by feelings of not being ‘good enough.’ Despite her best efforts, a mother might feel she’s falling short, leading to a constant sense of inadequacy and self-doubt.

5. Isolation and withdrawal

Pulling away from social circles and preferring solitude can be a sign of deeper emotional turmoil. Avoiding gatherings, friends, or even short outings can indicate a desire to escape from mounting pressures.

6. Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues

The body often mirrors the mind’s distress. Persistent physical ailments, like headaches or digestive problems and other types, without any apparent cause, can be the body’s way of signaling that all is not well.

7. Difficulty in sleeping or oversleeping

Whether it’s the inability to fall asleep, waking up frequently, or the opposite—oversleeping—it can be linked to mom burnout or depression. A restless mind can disrupt the body’s natural sleep rhythms, leading to further fatigue.

8. Neglecting self-care and personal needs

When self-care takes a backseat, and personal needs are consistently ignored, it’s a glaring sign of burnout. Mothers might feel there’s no time for themselves as caregivers, but this neglect can exacerbate feelings of exhaustion and disconnect.

9. Feeling detached from the role of motherhood

Especially in blended families, step mom burnout can manifest as a feeling of detachment from the maternal role. The complexities of merging families can sometimes overshadow the joys of motherhood, leading to feelings of alienation.

10. Constantly comparing oneself to other mothers

In today’s digital age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing oneself to the curated lives of others, especially other mothers. This constant comparison can erode self-worth and amplify feelings of inadequacy.

11. Constant fatigue and exhaustion

One of the most telling signs is perpetual tiredness. A burned out mom might find herself feeling drained, even after what should have been a restful night’s sleep. 

This isn’t just the usual fatigue from a busy day; it’s a profound exhaustion that permeates every aspect of life, making even simple tasks seem like mountains to climb.

How to recover from mom burnout: 13 useful tips

When the weight of responsibilities feels too heavy to bear, it’s essential to find ways to rejuvenate and find balance. Here are 13 tips to help mothers recover from burnout and rediscover the joys of motherhood

1. Acknowledge and acceptance

Recognizing that you’re experiencing burnout is crucial. Many mothers feel the pressure to be perfect and may deny their feelings of exhaustion. 

However, acknowledging these feelings isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a sign of self-awareness. By accepting your emotions, you pave the way for healing and seeking the necessary support.

2. Seek professional help

There’s no shame in seeking external support when dealing with burnout. A professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can offer guidance, coping techniques, and a judgment-free space to discuss your feelings. They can help you with the complexities of motherhood and provide tools to manage stress.

3. Set boundaries

As a mother, it’s easy to feel obligated to meet everyone’s needs and expectations. However, it’s essential to remember that setting boundaries is a form of self-care. 

By learning to say no or postponing certain tasks, you protect your mental and emotional well-being, ensuring you have the energy and focus for your family.

4. Prioritize self-care

Self-care is more than just pampering; it’s about maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical health. Find activities that resonate with you, whether it’s a hobby, relaxation techniques, or simply taking a moment to breathe. 

By dedicating time to yourself, you ensure that you’re in the best state to care for your loved ones.

5. Delegate and share responsibilities

Motherhood isn’t a solo journey. It’s okay to ask for help or delegate tasks to others. Whether it’s your partner, family, or hired assistance, sharing responsibilities can lighten your load and provide you with some much-needed respite.

6. Limit social media

While social media offers a way to connect, it can also present unrealistic standards of motherhood. By limiting your exposure or curating your feed, you can avoid unnecessary comparisons and focus on your unique journey as a mother.

7. Focus on quality, not quantity

Perfection isn’t the goal; connection is. Instead of striving for the perfect home or the perfect meal, focus on creating meaningful memories with your children. It’s the shared experiences and bonds that will be remembered, not the minor imperfections.

8. Practice gratitude

In the midst of challenges, it’s easy to lose sight of the positives. By practicing gratitude, you shift your perspective from what’s missing to what’s present in your life. This shift can lead to a more positive outlook and a greater appreciation for the joys of motherhood.

9. Establish a routine

A routine provides structure and predictability. While there’s room for spontaneous moments, having a set routine can reduce stress and ensure that you have time allocated for self-care, family time, and other essential activities.

A working mom, Amanda Fadul, discusses an effective routine for all moms in this video:

10. Stay active

Engaging in physical activity consistently is a transformative tool for mental health. Whether you’re participating in a structured workout, attending a fitness class, or just taking a rejuvenating walk around the neighborhood, exercise has the power to significantly boost your mood. 

Beyond mood elevation, it can also diminish feelings of stress, enhance your overall energy levels, and provide a profound sense of accomplishment and well-being.

11. Connect with other moms

There’s comfort in shared experiences. Connecting with other mothers allows you to vent, share advice, and realize that you’re not alone in your journey. These connections can provide a sense of community and understanding that can be incredibly healing.

12. Seek moments of solitude

The quiet moments, even if brief, offer a much-needed escape from daily responsibilities. Taking this time for yourself allows you to recharge your mental batteries, deeply reflect on your feelings and thoughts, and find clarity amidst the noise, ensuring you return to your roles with renewed focus and calmness.

13. Re-evaluate and adjust expectations

Perfection is an illusion. It’s essential to set realistic expectations for yourself and recognize that it’s okay to ask for help or take a break. By adjusting your standards, you reduce unnecessary stress and create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Commonly asked questions

Motherhood is a beautiful yet challenging journey, and understanding the nuances of mom burnout is essential for the well-being of both mothers and their families. Here are some frequently asked questions to shed light on this topic:

• What does a burned out mom look like in real life?  

A burned out mom might appear constantly exhausted, emotionally distant, and overwhelmed by daily tasks. She may lose interest in activities she once loved, become irritable, and frequently feel inadequate or guilty. Physically, she might experience sleep disturbances, headaches, or other unexplained ailments.

• Why do we need to identify mom burnout? 

Identifying mom burnout is crucial for the mental, emotional, and physical health of the mother. Early recognition allows for timely intervention, ensuring that mothers get the support and care they need. Moreover, addressing burnout can improve family dynamics and the overall well-being of the household.

• How can I differentiate between everyday stress and mom burnout?

Everyday stress is temporary and often linked to specific events or situations. It usually subsides once the triggering factor is resolved. Mom burnout, on the other hand, is persistent and pervasive. It’s a deep-seated feeling of exhaustion and overwhelm that doesn’t lift, even in the absence of immediate stressors.

• How does mom burnout affect my relationship with my children?

Mom burnout can lead to increased irritability, impatience, and emotional detachment. This can strain the mother-child relationship, leading to potential feelings of guilt and further emotional withdrawal. 

Children might sense this change and feel confused or neglected, impacting their emotional development.

• How can I communicate my burnout to my family without feeling guilty?

Open communication is key. Start by expressing your feelings honestly, emphasizing that it’s not about blame but seeking understanding and support. 

Remember, acknowledging burnout is a sign of self-awareness, not weakness. Sharing your struggles can pave the way for collective solutions and stronger family bonds.

Moms need care too

Mom burnout is a profound state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion linked to the challenges of motherhood. Recognizing its signs and addressing them is vital for the well-being of mothers and their families. Open communication, self-care, and seeking support can make a significant difference.