What are some of the most common causes of insecurity?
Common causes of insecurity include:
Some people have brain systems that are easily triggered, causing them to feel insecure in situations where other people would not feel threatened.
It is if their brain is constantly on high-alert, ready to react at the hint of a threat.
If a child grows up in a household where they feel unsafe, denigrated, teased or bullied, they are more likely to develop attachment problems as adults, leading to trust and relationship insecurity issues.
A child brought up in a non-nurturing environment, one where they cannot count on having their needs met, often becomes an insecure adult.
People who have been abused, abandoned, cheated on or betrayed in the past will understandably meet new relationships with a sense of insecurity, especially if they haven’t worked on and moved past the bad experience.
People who have had a loss, in particular, a traumatic breakup, are likely to develop relationship insecurity out of fear that they may lose their current partner.
This actually works against the relationship, because the smothering, the conflict-avoidant behavior, the lack of speaking up for oneself does not make for a balanced and satisfying relationship.
This then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: the person who is insecure in love actually ends up driving away, the one person they want to feel secure with.
How to overcome insecurity in a relationship
If you recognize a pattern of relationship insecurities, do not despair.
There are many strategies you can put into place to break out of this pattern and begin to deal with trust issues and insecurities.
How to deal with trust issues and insecurities
It all begins with recognizing that you are worthy of good, healthy love.
Having successful relationships and overcoming insecurity will mean clearing all the past losses, hurts, abuses and other experiences that contributed to your current state.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.