No one enters into a marriage planning a divorce. Everyone wishes a smooth, love-filled life. However, sometimes, it happens that the relationship tends to break apart, and the affected partner starts to plan a divorce.
As much as it is for women, men suffer the emotional trauma of being cheated upon too. They go through an emotional upheaval and, more often than not, are afraid of discussing their feelings with someone.
First things first, cheating doesn’t mean divorce, but if that is the only option, then consider taking pre-divorce counseling for men and go through the process of divorce therapy most effectively.
But do marriage counselors ever recommend divorce?
The therapist uses the best divorce therapy techniques to help you overcome the situation.
Some of the benefits of divorce counseling for men are:
It will help you keep away negative thoughts
It will help you rebuild and reshape your life by letting you identify your skills
It can help you understand the family dimensions (like kids and extended family) after divorce
It feels devastating to be cheated upon, but remember that it’s not the end of the world, and you will get through these hard times if you don’t let emotions overwhelm you.
Know that it’s not your fault
Never, even for one second, let yourself think that it’s your fault. This might lead to post-divorce depression. When you face infidelity, your mind begins to reconsider actions from the past trying to find the reason behind everything, but remember, nothing that happened can be a good excuse for being cheated.
It’s not your fault. Don’t feel unworthy or unwanted.
Find someone to talk to
Every therapist will tell you that talking and expressing your feelings is good for you in moments like these. They will guide you through the psychological stages of divorce. Feel free to speak to your best friend and let him know how you feel, but be careful with taking advice.
It is better to listen to advice only from your therapist since he is an expert on this. Your friends are surely trying to help you and have only good intentions, but they will give you advice that is based solely on their experience, which is not always best for you.
Keep your fingers off the keyboard
One of the pre-divorce advice for men is that when you feel vulnerable and lonely, the internet and social networks are a great place to fill the emotional gap. Quick access to the world looks harmless, but it’s exactly what you shouldn’t do.
People on the internet don’t care about your problems, but your divorce counselor will. Also, you may feel worse after talking about your issues online.
The biggest problem is that everything you write will probably stay there forever, and you don’t want any evidence of your weak moments later in life. If you feel the need to be heard, opt for divorce counseling for men.
Keep your dignity
Most men are competitive creatures, which is understandable, but don’t be one of those men who will look for the person their wife cheated with. It is not his fault, and he has nothing to do with you. He has no role in your story.
The worst is thinking that he is responsible for your wife’s affair. You don’t need to add more drama and create even more problems when you already have lots. In the worst-case scenario, you will lose control over your emotions and only end up with criminal charges.
Keep your self-esteem high, dignity, and police record clean.
Get the entire truth
During divorce counseling for men, divorce therapists say that in many cases, the real problem with divorcing couples over infidelity is not completely honest. The cheater usually keeps information under the rug that needs to be put out in the open.
If you want to keep your marriage even if there was an affair in it, make sure you get a complete truth right away. After all, that’s the least you deserve.
Ask your spouse how it was done, how long it last, everything, but be aware that you will feel angry, disappointed, and abandoned. Be strong and get all information in one conversation. Like a bandage that you need to get off, do it quickly, and endure the pain. Remember, this is the best way. If you let the problem slide now, later it will only hurt you more.
Forget about revenge
The best revenge is not taking any revenge at all.
The video below discusses moving on with your life. There’s no need for grudges or resentment when your focus is on building your best every life experience.
Trying to get even with your spouse will also create more problems rather than fix anything.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.