First things first, cheating doesn’t mean divorce, but if that is the only option then consider taking divorce counseling for men and go through the process most effectively. It feels devastating to be cheated upon, but remember that it’s not the end of the world and you will get through these hard times if you don’t let emotions overwhelm you.
Know that it’s not your fault
Never, even for one second let yourself think that it’s your fault. When you face infidelity, your mind begins to reconsider actions from the past trying to find the reason behind everything, but remember, nothing that happened can be a good excuse for being cheated.
It’s not your fault, don’t feel unworthy or unwanted.
Find someone to talk to
Every therapist will tell you that talking and expressing your feelings is good for you in moments like these. Feel free to talk to your best friend and let him know how you feel, but be careful with taking advices. It is better to listen to advice only from your therapist since he is an expert on this. Your friends are surely trying to help you and have only good intentions, but they will give you advice that is based only on their experience which is not always best for you.
Keep your fingers off the keyboard
When you feel vulnerable and lonely, the internet and social networks are a great place to fill the emotional gap. Quick access to the world looks harmless, but it’s exactly what you shouldn’t do. People on the internet don’t care about your problems, and you may feel worse after talking about your issues on line. The biggest problem is that everything you write will probably stay there forever, and you don’t want any evidence of your weak moments later in life.
Keep your dignity
Most men are competitive creatures and that is understandable, but don’t be one of those men who will look for the person their wife cheated with. It is not his fault, and he has nothing to do with you. He has absolutely no role in your story.
The worst is thinking that he is responsible for your wife’s affair. You don’t need to add more drama and create even more problems when you already have lots of them. In worst case scenario you will lose control over your emotions and only end up with criminal charges.
Keep your dignity and police record clean.
Get the entire truth
Therapists say that in many cases the real problem with divorcing couples over infidelity is not being completely honest with each other. The cheater usually keeps information under the rug that needs to be put out in the open.
If you want to keep your marriage even if there was an affair in it, make sure you get the complete truth right away. After all, that’s the least you deserve.
Ask your spouse about how it was done, how long did it last, everything, but be aware that you will feel angry, disappointed, and abandoned. Be strong and get all information in one conversation. Like a bandage that you need to get off, do it quickly and endure the pain. Remember, this is the best way. If you let the problem slide now, later it will only hurt you more.
Forget about revenge
Trying to get even with your spouse will also create more problems rather than fix anything. If you want to keep your marriage, another affair can just blow things up, and if you want to divorce then breaking your marriage vow can just give an advantage to your wife’s lawyer.