I have found most couples approach counseling with the notion that each person will describe their distress and that somehow the counselor will assist them to create a happier, more functional, relationship. They expect to learn some new or better skills, which they should. However, most people hope their partner will do most of the learning in problem areas.
After working with hundreds of couples, I have learned some guidelines that can make our work more effective. First, I do have some expectations of you. I am not neutral. I have evolved principles and concepts that I believe give us the greatest chance for success.
I believe my primary role is to help you improve your responses to each other without violating your core values or deeply held principles.
Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in counseling. Like a good counselor, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner – they work best when you are clear about who you aspire to be.
The major aim of counseling is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner, and the patterns of interaction between you. Counseling becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.
A more powerful approach to your couple's counseling sessions is for each person to do the following before each session:
Reflect on your objectives for being in counseling.
Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.
This reflection takes some effort. Yet few people would call an important meeting and then say, “Well, I don't have anything to bring up, does anyone else have anything on their agenda?” Your preparation will pay high dividends.
Scott Waters is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Eugene
Licensing & Certifications:
- License State: Oregon
- License Number: C4911, received 2017
- Suicide Assessment
- Blended Families
- Marital and Premarital
Services Provided Via:
- In person
- Internet meeting
Working With Marriages for:
- 8 Year(s)
Free Phone Consultations?
Hourly Fees Range:
- $100 - $150