Ken Barrett, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker | Claimed

I use a combination of EFT and Gottman in working with couples. I addition, I draw from systemic family therapy to help couples become aware of multi-generational patterns of relating within their families. I have worked as a psychotherapist for 31 years and still enjoy what I do. One of my favorite scenarios is when an acting out teen comes in and as the layers of the family get gently and respectfully peeled off it becomes apparent that the marriage is suffering. In turn, I try to get the parents or couple to see that their child is a manifestation of their communication problms. If given permission the therapy shifts to the marriage and the identified patient is no longer the focal point, The sense of relief some teens have when the shift is made from them as the problem to much bigger problems is a thing of beauty to see. The teen typically shows relief, and sometimes sheer surprise. I enjoy uttering the words to a teen, "Thank you for bringing your family here." Admittedly, I am sometimes met with skepticism by the teen and their parents. In clarifying what is going on in the family system eventually the skepticism usually dies off. And, good riddance to the the old family perspective and come on into therapy clarity about what is actully occurring within the system. At this juncture now it's time to do some real work. Lastly, sometimes working as a therapist is incredibly humbling. When I am faced with a client who not ready for therapy it becomes appaent much quicker than it use to and typically the response made is to plant a seed and respect their balking at the opportunity. "I hope your experience was ok and that if you really need this process that you'll know when to return to therapy?" Letting go is sometimes more therapeutic for the client than trying to convince them therapy is a good fit for them. I admire the young therapists who can persuade a client to conintinue by injecting energy, motivation and skill into the therapeutic hour. In the event I have consumed enough coffee perhaps the return of yesteryears is upon me and the client, and ultimately I say a key phrase to get them to keep attending therapy. "Ya know this is a slow process and maybe you could consdier giving it 3-4 more sessions and then reevaluate what is happening for you." If a client buys into to continuing therapy then there's time to figure out how to better reach them and provide knowledge that is fruitful or productive for their life. Life as a therapist is interesting, keeps one creative and is a forever learning process.