Making Long Distance Relationships Work: Positivity Is the Key
Getting yourself into a long distance relationship might seem easy until you jump into one. Over time, you start realizing that such love stories require a lot of hard work and patience. This makes us ask ourselves- Is it worth it?
Definitely yes, but you will need to bridge the distance to enjoy the benefits of a “normal” relationship. Also, making it through the phase of “living in different ZIP codes” is not as bad as you might think when you eventually get to live together.
The biggest problem in being apart for long periods of time is that it’s easy to get caught up in the “spiral of sadness”.
When you get to see your partner for a limited time, you end up doing some major planning every time you call because of the time difference. You want to spend all your time together, so you end up sitting in front of your computer… all the time.
My honest advice is: don’t do this if you want to have a successful relationship now and later when you start living together.
How do you remain positive and enjoy a relationship when you can barely see your significant other? Learn to get away from negativity and concentrate on the positive aspect.
Discuss your budget and plan your dates for the coming year
Unfortunately, LDRs (long distance relationships) are not romantic when it comes to finances and it’s essential to talk about your situation in advance if you want to keep your meetings consistent.
Treat this phase as an “investment” into a happy future
Always remember, you both made a decision to get into a long distance relationship so that you could be together at a later stage. Waiting is difficult, but the good news is that LDRs can be almost as satisfying as a normal relationship, as long as you invest your time into staying connected.
Plan your communication patterns
Communication in an LDR takes effort and commitment. Discuss ways of communication and explain your expectations about how frequently you should catch up on a call. I feel that this is crucial. If the expectations of one of you are not met, it will lead to big arguments later on. Take precautions in advance and make sure that your plan of communication is acceptable for both.
Find the balance
Make sure you do things together online but don’t immerse yourself into virtual life either. Don’t forget to spend time with your friends and family. Also, use the time alone to your benefit – attend a course to learn something new or achieve a new fitness goal.
Trust each other
If you are having a hard time trusting your partner, you should either work on yourself or reconsider the relationship. When you live far away and can’t be together, it’s likely that you will get jealous at times just because you are far away and there is no way to know what they are up to. And it’s okay – I remember getting jealous about my boyfriend having dinner with his guy friends because I couldn’t be a part of it!
However, trust is an absolute must. Occasional jealousy is understandable, but if you are continuously suspicious about your partner, it’s a major red flag which you shouldn’t ignore. It doesn’t definitely signal that your partner is upto something, but it might mean that your relationship doesn’t have a strong trust foundation.
Talk about the future together
It’s understandable that big changes take years, not months. But (initially) dreaming about it will help you come up with a reasonable plan. Don’t be scared to dream together and talk about your ambitions!
Most importantly, stay positive
Always keep in mind: the fact that your partner is far away isn’t the reason to be sad. Live your life just as you would do otherwise, and always remember why you got into this relationship in the first place.
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