I am getting married in this December and the amount of stress that has been built up in me is keeping me awake at nights and to an extent has been the reason why I haven’t been able to focus on anything. Being a love marriage, it should have been the other way round with everything beautiful around me, but the question – “Is there a happily married life ever after?” bothering me.
I have been reading a lot about how things will change from being a bachelor to a married man and also talking to friends who have been married for a while. I believe that “conversations” between partners is an important part that makes the situation a lot better. No matter how difficult the times are, if you are in for a long term relationship, your conversations will make things okay.
Talking about conversations, every married couple should have these 6 types of talks between themselves to keep up the love factor and those which make a relationship grow better and more fruitful.
1. About their future
When two people come together in a relationship, it is their duty to understand each other and how they see their future with each other. My fiance is not the first person with whom I had the wedding scene set up. Before her, my parents found another girl with whom I was generally discussing life. Nothing worked out for us because the way I saw life for us was completely different from how she saw it. She wanted me cut down on meeting my friends and partying, Not only this, she never wanted to have the responsibility of a kid and so much more. And, that’s when I called off our wedding.
Topics like these are the ones which let you explore whether things will work out between you two or not. Couples already married must understand each other and discuss this among themselves.
2. About money
Every couple should make their goal to reveal (actually reveal) their financial expenditures, habits, earnings and everything that’s related to money and can affect the relationship in short or long term goal. You should also have a conversation about the times when you could go bankrupt or face a financial crisis and how you would come out of it together.
This conversation builds up the trust factor between you two and will give you a heads up about what the future holds for you.
3. About intimacy
Coming close to each other mentally, emotionally and physically is quite important when you are getting married. You have to understand how you see your intimate/sexual life with your partner and talk about the same with them. You should be vocal about your needs and how your partner should make you happy and vice versa.
Intimacy is not always about sex, it is building up a relationship where you understand how to go about taking your emotional and physical needs together. I kiss my “future-wife” that’s what I call her when she feels down and that’s how she gets better.
4. About your life goals
You need to focus on yourself and then go for your partner. Your life goals will certainly affect your relationship and that’s exactly why it is important that your life goals are discussed among yourselves. Your likes, dislikes, what you want to do in life, how you want to steer your priorities and everything else that matters or can matter to you both.
5. About needs
Everything relationship has needs. You need to figure out each other’s needs and of the relationship as well. From the need of having fun and humor in your relationship, love, support, and everything else that matters to either one or both of you. Needs can also be materialistic when it comes to having a partner. She might have the fetish for jewelry or is a foodie or anything and you got to take care of that as well.
6. About conflicts
Conflicts are an integral part of any relationship. You cannot ignore them because where there are two individuals, the difference of opinion would happen. Hence, conflicts will happen. You need to have a conversation about how will you actually settle down the conflicts and keep the banner of love high. My partner and I talk about it and have figured out a way that no matter how rude the days are, we would kiss each other and sleep together to make things okay (I just hope things work like this).
If you indulge in these conversations with your partner, life would be a lot easier and less of surprises for you.