Dr. Robert Pate, PsyD
Psychologist | Claimed

Any marriage can be saved if you both want it to happen. Marriage is not a one time choice, but a daily one. Heck, all relationships boil down to daily choices. Do I stay and prioritize you, do I stay and prioritize me, or do I leave? If I stay and prioritize you, trusting that you will do the same, we've got a shot at making things work. For all the talk about romance, fun, sex, excitement, and "passion" in today's culture and media, at the end of the day, when everyone is tired, and the kids are fussy, and there's laundry to do, and not enough money in the budget to go on that amazing vacation that for sure would fix all our problems, marriage is a choice. It is choosing the other person over yourself. Yes, you have needs, and my goal is to help you get those met! But I also want to help you meet your spouse's needs too, because if the relationship continues to be a one way street and the traffic just switches directions, your marriage isn't going to last much longer.

Maybe you're sick of fighting. Maybe you long to have a better sex life. Maybe one or both of you has been through some trauma in your past, and it's getting in the way of feeling close or even safe in your marriage. Let's get started untangling the issues so you can both see things clearly. Let's start fighting for your marriage together. That's what I do. That's what I'm passionate about. It's corny, but I love love. I love football (I'm a Rams fan and a USC Trojans fan). I play poker with my friends. Before having 3 kids and teaching doctoral psychology students in the evenings I played in a men's softball league. But I also get a little misty eyed at videos of soldiers coming home to their loved ones, movies about reconciliation, coming of age, and triumph over the darkness inside and the tremendous barriers in life.

Let's get started saving your marriage. No, scratch that. Let's start helping you to engage your spouse in profoundly different ways so that you both get your needs met, and your ultimate desire is for each other's happiness. For most of us, that's where we started. And it's not too late to start working toward that again.

Are you ready? If so, call me! I'd love to meet with you and your spouse in person at my comfortable office in Huntington Beach, or via video if you live anywhere in California.