Real Relationships are Work
When two people connect, sometimes something happens to both of them. When what happens feels good, and seems like it might last for a while, we call it a relationship.
In the beginning, relationships often feel fun, easy, and simple. And, over time, relationships change. They get more complicated. It becomes harder to overlook things. Frustrations that used to seem minor get more important, more annoying. That's when work is required.
Her anger because he wasn’t sympathetic may come on top of her fear that she’ll be alone for the rest of his life. In his family, it was OK that people yelled a lot. In hers, a raised voice meant something pretty bad was on the way. In his family, people asked each other for help. In hers, that was a sign of weakness, dependence, failure. Where do you go from there?
My first job in relationship work is to help people identify the actual problem they’re having. Maybe you don’t know how to communicate clearly, or how to fight productively. Maybe your communication is just fine, but you have serious differences in values, or in your beliefs about how relationships ought to work.
Identifying the problem is frequently the difficult part. If you really want to be together, the solution is frequently surprisingly easy. Sometimes the solution looks like a compromise. Sometimes the solution looks like, “Oh, I didn’t know you meant that.”
As human beings, we are wired up to crave relationships and to find joy in them. If your relationship is being difficult, I can help you with both parts of the problem-solving process. Gently, safely.
Give me a call. I am currently doing sessions via telephone, FaceTime, or video. If you would like to know a little more about me, my website is www.joeturnerlpc.com.
