I use several different approaches, first and foremost help with communication on all levels, leading to sharing emotions, including hurts, disappointments, and resentments. I also ask each of the couple to rate themselves individually on 12 types of intimacy and then share in a couple meeting. I may also use the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to help them see in black and white their different approaches to communicating and solving challenges, and then incorporating some of the "opposites" into their individual style.
It is also important to have one or several individual sessions with the participants to get to know them and their history on a deeper level. In many marriages, post-traumatic stress plays a role in their overreactive communication, so we also deal with that. My approach also takes into consideration any addictions one or both partners suffer from, including both substance and process addictions. In sum, my approach is eclectic -- including Inner Child work, stress reduction, and many other modalities, in addition to those mentioned above.
