I am a couples-focused therapist drawing from evidence-based approaches including Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT-C) and Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy for Couples (AEDPfC). I support couples move from stuckness and reactivity to falling freshly in love.
My approach is distinct in a couple of ways. Rather than focusing on what is wrong in the relationship, we uncover the felt experience of love that has become buried over time. Second, partners speak directly to one another from the outset: what each longs to have with, give to, and be received by the other. With affirmation, structure, and increasing independence, partners begin to have a new conversation.
Another distinguishing feature of this work is close attention to emotions and other aspects of internal experience. With attentiveness and kindness, I invite partners to slow down and speak from their embodied awareness. These "I" statements can be deeply received by the other partner and invite increasingly attuned responses...ones that at last match each partner's deepest longings.
From this increasingly secure place, couple members can begin healing the relational deprivation and trauma that often underlies patterns of conflict and distancing in daily life. Instead of reinforcing these old patterns, they are creating new and generative ones that beget further positive interactions. They are co-creating the experience of loving and being loved that they have been missing.
Every day I am inspired by the transformations I witness and, when present, by the thought of the children who benefit from the secure base of their parents' relationship. Love spreads...and continues to do so generation by generation! I'm looking forward to hearing about your unique situation.
