Kevin Bacon was once asked, “What makes your marriage last?” He didn’t miss a beat: “Clean fighting and dirty sex.” He has a point. The way a couple fights truly impacts their health and their relationship. There are additional influences that create disharmony between two people. Loss of connection, loneliness and conflict avoidance are all precursors to infidelity. I work with couples in crisis from the recent discovery of betrayal and/or past addictions and other relationship struggles. Healing won’t be easy, but it is possible. It’s a painful journey that will take time. I work to make that journey easier.
I work with those in and out of relationships. Frequently, baggage from a past relationship taints a new one. Looking for betrayal or abandonment because of a prior breach in trust is typical. Walls may be built preventing the new relationship from flourishing. Working to regain a sense of self, safety and trust is the goal of therapy.
Frequently couples say that they do not know their partner. When trauma or addiction is part of one’s present or past reality, connection fails to happen. The trauma victim or the one struggling with addiction keep others away. In therapy, we work with soothing the trauma, infidelity, and healing the wounds of addiction allowing connection to grow.
