5 Signs of Unconditional Love and How to Find It

Unconditional love is so different from what most people know – the essence of true love. And trust me, this is not cliched.

This kind of love exists, and we might feel unconditional love towards someone without being aware of it. Keep reading to understand what does it mean to love someone unconditionally.

What is unconditional love?

One might wonder, “Does unconditional love exist? Is unconditional love real?” If you have been trying to understand unconditional love’s meaning, here is what you need to know. 

If you are looking to describe unconditional love, to love unconditionally is to love selflessly without expecting anything in return. 

Most people would say that it is a myth and that a love like that does not exist. However, it does happen in reality, in the form of a commitment to someone who may not be perfect. 

If you love someone unconditionally, you overlook their flaws and don’t expect any benefits from the relationship. Nothing can stand in the way of a lover who loves with all his heart and cares about the happiness of another person. 

What conditional love looks like

Conditional love, as the name suggests, is the opposite of unconditional love. Some people might not even consider conditional love as the feeling of “love” at all. We often think that someone’s love is unconditional, but it often comes with certain expectations or returns that place it more under the category of conditional love. 

The truth is, love without conditions is difficult to find. Not because people cannot love unconditionally, but because that is just how the human brain and heart are wired. We want to be loved the way we love, which can give rise to certain expectations.

5 signs of unconditional love

If you wonder what you feel for someone in your life is unconditional love or not, here are some signs of unconditional love that you need to identify. It is simple – if you feel this way about them, you love them unconditionally.

1. You believe in the good that they possess

It’s easy to look at the negative side of everything, but our heart makes exceptions when it comes to those who matter. That’s why you give second chances. When you know the very worst in someone, but you still believe in the good that they possess, that’s true love. 

Your love is so unconditional that you don’t think twice before forgiving them for something they have done. That’s because when love is unconditional, you do not judge or give up on someone you care for. 

And unlike how society sees that person, you see beyond the outward flaws and focus on what’s on the inside. That’s what loving someone unconditionally means. 

2. It involves sacrifices

Unconditional love is anything but easy. It involves a lot of sacrifices. Loving unconditionally is probably one of the bravest things to do because you never question your decision. 

What is unconditional love in a relationship? You are ready to do something for someone, even if that means you lose something precious of your own. It takes courage to sacrifice a desire for a relationship. 

Sometimes, you might go as far as taking the blame for it or putting your self-worth and respect at risk. And why do you do it? Only to see them happy.

Related Reading: What Is Sacrificial Love and Ways to Practice It

3. You want the best for them

What is unconditional love? It is wanting to see our loved ones happy. When you love someone unconditionally, you start believing that they deserve only the best. So, you do everything in your ability to get them what they rightfully deserve, according to you.

Loving unconditionally comes with selflessness – you start thinking about how to support your partner. It leaves you with an ultimate desire to see your loved ones flourish and find contentment in what they do. 

You love them wholeheartedly and try to share every happiness with them. You are upset when they are not in the best form and happy when they are happy.

4. It is a deep feeling that can’t be seen, only felt

Wholehearted love is not something that can be seen. You simply share your heart with a person and let them bask in the affection you have for them. 

You may be shy to the rest of the world, but when it comes to your loved one, you let your guard down and are vulnerable and honest about your feelings. 

Even if it’s unrequited, you don’t care because when your love is selfless, you are only concerned about giving and not about receiving.

What is unconditional love? When you experience negative emotions like anger, frustration, or hurt, you continue to love them the same. No hardship can diminish the love you have for them in your heart.

Related Reading: What Is Love?

5. You love their imperfections

They may not be perfect to others, but to you, they are. You forgive all their mistakes and accept every flaw. What is unconditional love? To love someone unconditionally means that you acknowledge their mistakes and believe that they can change. 

You love things about them that not everyone can see. Usually, it’s extremely hard to forgive someone who caused you pain. But in this case, you let it go. 

You open up your heart to the person instead of protecting yourself. No matter what happens, you will find yourself fighting for the relationship.

Related Reading: What's Your Love Flaw Quiz

This is what unconditional love means. Even though it puts you in a vulnerable position and can hurt you, you do not stop loving. You may have unconditional love for your mother, a close friend, a sibling, your baby, or your spouse. 

In some cases, it is reciprocated, but it’s a lasting commitment you give to another person at the end of the day. 

A commitment to never stop loving him/her, to always think of him/her before yourself, to always be by his/her side no matter what, and to understand him/her in every situation. 

This is the beautiful journey of loving unconditionally. This kind of love truly is magical.  And worth every little pain it may give you.

Is it possible to love unconditionally?

This can be a tricky question to answer. Now that you understand the feeling of unconditional love more deeply, you might wonder, “Is unconditional love possible?”

The answer to that question has multiple layers. For instance, researchers have pointed out that even the love between parents and children is not exclusively unconditional.

You may never find out if your love for someone is unconditional or not unless there are changes in situations, personality, or life phases. Therefore, determining the possibility of unconditional love can be difficult.

To get a clearer idea of the possibility of unconditional love, watch this video.

Do you need unconditional love when looking for a soulmate?

You might feel unconditional love for your partner, who you also think is your soulmate. However, when you eventually think about a relationship in the long term, you might see how conditional and unconditional love overlap, even when it is your soulmate you are with.

Having said that, there is nothing wrong with it. Understanding the situation practically and is where a few conditions might come in. 

Where will you both live? Will you get married? When will you get married? Will you have kids? How many? – These are the types of questions that may make your love for your soulmate conditional, but only to the point where you have to decide on a future together.

Related Reading: 10 Signs You've Found Your Soulmate

How do you find unconditional love?

Unconditional love is a state of acceptance, self-care, and compassion. To find it, check out the following tips:

• Accept yourself and your flaws
• Practice self-care and self-love
• Surround yourself with positive and supportive people
• Let go of grudges and resentments
• Cultivate gratitude and positivity
• Focus on giving love, rather than receiving it
• Learn to love and forgive others, including yourself
• Be open to love and let go of fear
• Take time to understand what love means to you
• Seek out relationships and experiences that bring you joy and fulfillment

More questions on unconditional love

Check out more questions to know if unconditional love is healthy:

• Is unconditional love healthy?

Unconditional love is healthy. If you do not love people the way they are, without attaching expectations to them, then it may not be love at all in the first place. However, it is crucial to set boundaries for unconditional love, or you could end up doing more harm than good.

Make sure you receive a few basics from the people you love. These include love, respect, kindness, and safety. 

Many people might confuse these with expectations, but they are primary factors in building or maintaining a relationship. In that case, you may also consider going for couples’ counseling to build a solid foundation for your relationship.

• What is an example of unconditional love?

Some unconditional love examples with boundaries include –

1. “I support you, and I love you. But I think you are making a mistake.”
2. “I love you, but I do not think I can afford your expenses anymore.”
3. “You can take your space if you want, but you should not speak to me this way.”
4. “We can talk about why you are mad at me, but it does not mean you can yell at me.”
5. “I love you, but you cannot try to threaten me in any way.”

• How to know you have found unconditional love?

Do you want to know if your partner or significant other loves you unconditionally? Watch out for these signs. If you want to give out love without conditions to someone, these points can also guide you about when someone loves you unconditionally. 

• They understand you, even when they may have a hard time convincing themselves
• They are forgiving
• They look past your flaws and do not expect you to be perfect
• They share their vulnerabilities with you
• They prioritize your needs
• Disagreements or difficult conversations do not lead to fights but solutions
• They do not set any unrealistic expectations for you
• They always show up, no matter what
• They are there for you, even when they need help
• They offer you a sense of security and make you feel valued.

Takeaway

Unconditional love is difficult to define and might be even more challenging to find and experience. 

While giving away love unconditionally to someone can be a satisfying experience for you, too, it is crucial to ensure that it is healthy, or it can take the form of abuse pretty quickly. Make sure you respect your boundaries as you continue to love unconditionally.