Lark’s approach to working with couples is primarily inspired by the work of John Gottman, PhD, and Julie Gottman, PhD. She has trained up to Level III with the Gottman Institute and has been accepted into their certification program. Lark specializes in helping couples transition out of blame and criticism and into greater appreciation and enjoyment of one another.
All couples have arguments, but healthy couples argue effectively and make lasting repairs. During intense discord, or when the arguing just feels like too much, the body tends to get hyper-aroused and go into “fight-or-flight” mode. Lark assists partners in developing skills for shifting from psychological and physiological tension into relaxation, even while continuing to disagree. In this way, rational thinking returns, empathy expands, and arguments end faster. The couple is also able to re-establish connection more quickly afterward. As partners learn to identify and recognize the warning signs of their relationship getting derailed, future discord can be more readily prevented by using antidotes that increase understanding and connection.
One of the most rewarding aspects of couples counseling is assisting partners in getting to know one another deeply, all over again. As each person changes and grows, partners may not necessarily stay “caught up” with these changes. When a couple develops mutual understanding and acceptance based on each person’s present truth and stage of life, real friendship can be created and love can be expanded. As partners communicate and clarify their perspectives, they begin to move from entanglement to healthy interdependence. Lark loves to work with LGBTQ+ and heterosexual couples.
