If you are in a long-term relationship and plan to get married soon, you probably wonder what married life is going to be like. Here are five premarital tips to guide you towards a happy and satisfying married life.
1. Get to know each other well
When you are dating someone, you are usually both on your “best behaviour” and it is easy to think your partner is perfect in every way. But the reality is that we all have our flaws and weaknesses. It is best if you can find these things out about each other before getting married. If you and your partner are both honest about areas in which you struggle, this can be a good recipe for a healthy marriage in which spouses complement and support each other.
2. Learn to fight properly
When two unique and separate individuals get married, certain differences are inevitable and sooner or later there will be some significant disagreement between you. How you handle conflicts will be crucial to the success or failure of your marriage and conflict resolution is an important part of your pre-marriage preparation. It is a skill to be learnt, with determination, practice and much patience, to talk through thorny issues, to reach a decision or compromise, and to forgive and move on. Conflicts which are not dealt with properly linger and smoulder, becoming highly toxic to your marriage.
3. Talk about expectations for having children
One of the premarital counselling tips to remember is to talk about your expectations for having children. Perhaps you have always longed to have several children, but your future spouse is determined to have only one, or even none. This is a pre-marital issue which needs to be addressed and dealt with appropriately.
4. Don’t ignore warning bells
If you hear any warning bells tinkling softly at the back of your mind, don’t ignore or push them aside, hoping that somehow it will all work out. It is better to investigate any pre-marital issues and see whether it is indeed something to be concerned about or not. Problems only disappear when they are faced head on and sometimes getting pre-marital relationship advice from a qualified counsellor can be helpful.
5. Choose who you will listen to
When family, friends and acquaintances hear that you are thinking of getting married, you may find that suddenly anyone and everyone has all kinds of marriage advice and premarital advice for you! This can be quite overwhelming, especially from those who try to “scare” you with all the bad experiences they have had. It is important that you choose carefully who you listen to and who you will allow to be an influence in your life and in your marriage.