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  • 4100 Points

Yosemitefaerie

  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How should I save my marriage from falling apart?
    Marriages don't usually fall apart overnight, instead they slowly deteoriate due to neglect towards the marriage. If you would like to save your marriage, know that it likewise won't take an overnight miracle to solve everything. Instead, careful changes and dedication to fixing the marriage is required to ensure that it is strong.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Love, relationships and even marriages - why are they all so complicated?
    Relationships are not 2 dimensional objects that appear simple, and neither should they be viewed as inanimate objects. In fact, relationships are dynamic and evolving all the time are dependent on external factors as well as how the couple interacts with each other. If you're feeling stressed about relationships being complicated, then perhaps you've been having the wrong view of what they're supposed to be.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    We are newlyweds and I am suspicious of my mother-in-law of not being happy with me. How can I save our marriage?
    Try not to be too direct with your mother in law about this as it can be a delicate subject for her. Instead, observe for a while if she is truly acting in a way that shows she is unhappy with you. Concrete evidence would be a much better approach than using speculation alone. In the meanwhile, be courteous to your mother-in-law, but also make sure not to let her bully you. Speak to your husband about this issue if it goes out of hand, and perhaps he can help mediate things between your his mum and yourself.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I make my life stable by avoiding all marriage problems?
    The honest truth is that you cannot avoid marriage problems. It helps to not see issues as problems at all, but rather, daily operation matters that must be tended to. This gives the view that the issues are a routine task that must be done for the smooth running of the marriage, instead of being seen as unwanted obstacles in the marriage. If you're looking for stability in a marriage, then perhaps you can seel out a counsellor to address your concerns.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Why one should go for a marriage and family counseling?
    Marriage and family counselling can help build strong foundations, habits and mindsets that are essential for the smooth running of the most important relationships of our lives. We learn our whole life about academics, but rarely are we taught about the interpersonal skills as well as social skills needed when we interact with people, especially our loved ones.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Tell me some of the smartest marriage tips that can help me in long run?
    I've personally found that having a positive mindset is very important when you're in a marriage. This posivity can be very infectious, and lead to your other half also feeling positive. Apart from that, I try my best to stand by my husband and show my support for him in both the good times and the bad times. I want him to know that no matter what happens, I will always be there for him. Likewise, he has shown me the same too, which I appreciate.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am a lesbian and have been hiding this truth from my parents. How can I tell my parents about my affair?
    Pick a good day when you know your parents won't be busy or distracted from the day's events. In fact, pick a day when you know they'll be the most relaxed. Try to do this within your house and not in a public place since you do not want any embarassing public scenes to occur. Then tell your parents to sit down and listen to something important that you want to tell them. In these situations, it's always better to be prepared for the worst. Anticipate that your parents might be very upset and plan accordingly.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What causes jealousy in a romantic relationship?
    In relationships people tend to be very possessive of their partners because they don't want to lose what gives them the sense of security and joy that they get from them, and see it as a special and exclusive bond between them. When there is any threat to this sense of emotional security that they have, they might get jealous and act in irrational ways. For example, if an attractive person talks and possibly flirts with the partner, the fear of possibly losing that partner to them activates, which in turn triggers the jealousy.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I fix my marriage without going to the counselor?
    I've never been to a counselor, mainly because I do not really have the financial resources available to spend on the service, and I have not met an obstacle so huge in my marriage that required intervention from an expert yet (I hope not!). Usually when my marriage hits a snag, and there is no clear and visible solution that comes quickly to the minds of both myself and my husband, I do an online search and read through forums, articles and guidebooks. If I can't find anything concrete, I then head to the library for a look at relevant books I could read and apply.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I fix my parent's troubled marriage?
    Yes, I agree with the others. You might not be able to help thoroughly fix your parents' marriage, sorry to say. However, you can guide them and as lifewanderer says, introduce an expert to them if the situation gets out of hand. If you are a professional mediator though, then by all means help your parents, but be sure not to be biased about it!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Is it possible to save your marriage alone?
    No, it takes the efforts of two people. If you are committed to saving your marriage, then you have to first convince your spouse to be on the same page as you and be supportive of the marriage himself before you can get anywhere near to the repair and recovery stage. Saving the marriage requires teamwork and mutual effort.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Need some tips to save my marriage. My husband is still in touch with his ex. What can I do?
    If it were my husband, I would tell him to stop cut all connections to her immediately. I am the jealous and fearless type usually, and cannot stand it if he talks to his past lovers. It's not that I don't trust him, I just don't trust those exes. I don't talk to my ex at all, and I don't see the need to. If I do see him on the streets, I might say hi and ask what he was doing, but I wouldn't exchange contact numbers! Tell your husband what you feel and what you want him to do and I'm sure he will oblige.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I seek marital help online?
    In this case, search engines are your friend! I'm thinking of one right now that starts with a big 'G'... But seriously, I always search online for ideas and tips on how to help out with any obstacles that come by during my marriage. What I understand though, is that it's not a professional opinions that are found easily for sure (you have to pay for those). Rather, the onus is on you to find out these online resources are credible or not.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am tring to save my marriage after infidelity. Are there any positive chances for it?
    If you the spouse who has been wronged is able to forgive the one who committed the infidelity, then that is the first start. Some people say that once a spouse cheats and is forgiven, they will commit the act again. However this is just generalization. Some people are truly repentant when they realize they have made a very big mistake, and through seeing the error of their ways, realize that their marriage is the most important thing in the world to them. With the forgiveness and the repentance, the marriage is a good place to be saved.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    When should a Christian couple seek marriage counselling?
    In my church, my husband and I were encouraged to go for pre-marital counselling immediately after we were engaged. The counselling session lasted a few months (mainly because it was once a week) and it really did give us a good understanding of what a Christian marriage should be. I won't say that it will guarantee a happy marriage, but we have a better understanding of our roles for sure.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am 16. Is it normal to have an affair with a person who is twice my age?
    Dear young child, you need to look at the situation and think deeply about whether you are getting any good wholesome outcomes out of this relationship with the older person. Perhaps you are being kept happy and amused due to it, but I implore you to ask yourself if you are really truly contented with what is going on, and if you think that this relationship will last? The very fact that you are on this forum asking this tells me that you have some very serious doubts. If it doesn't feel right to your intuition, then reconsider everything about this relationship now.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I have made a lot of friends over online chat. How to get over that habit it's really addictive?
    Making friends is not a bad thing at all, but you need to balance out the virtual life with your real life. I think if you get out there and do activities that interest you along with other people, you are bound to find lifelong peers with which you can have shared experiences with in real life. Once you've enriched your life with them, you'll find that you might not want to log in to chat that often!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How much has internet computer dating changed over the years?
    I think internet dating has evolved drastically over the years! From something that appeared shady and unsafe, it is now a bustling online activity that I think almost everyone was involved in. However, somehow we still have this stigma regarding it. I'll tell you a secret... I met my husband through online dating, but we tell everyone that we met at a party.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Can I have my marriage certificate changed?
    No, I don't think it can be. That's because the marriage certificate was a legal document formed and made at the time of the wedding, so is considered binding according to the parameters then. Yes, as lifewanderer says, you can't even alter your name on the certificate even if you legally changed yours through the deed poll!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Is counseling for couples adviced if they argue on small matters?
    Constantly arguing about small matters can indicate an underlying and deeper tension between the both of you. If you feel that the situation cannot be changed no matter how much you try to make things for the better, then counselling might help you resolve the issues specific to your marriage.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Any love advice for free? I'm going nuts with my wife. She thinks I'm having an affair.
    Maybe your wife found some very suspicious evidence or you are acting suspiciously, even if you did nothing wrong. Sometimes she might be acting this way just to get your attention. Maybe on a normal day when everything's the same, you don't pay attention to her, and she had to resort to this sort of tactic to get you to notice her. Just my theory... :)
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Is getting married the second time round easy?
    You would think that the second round is easy, and it might be because we've learnt so much from the first. However sometimes getting married for the second time can bring fears and insecurities about it. We anticipate the bad things will happened like in the first marriage, or we are afraid to get hurt again so we act more defensively.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Need help in my marriage. My husband is insensitive and constantly argues with me.
    My husband used to be verrrrrrry insensitive to me. And I mean very. He would say thinks that made me cry or made me feel bad about myself. Of course I always rebutted him, and even made small threats. But one day, I just sat him down and talked to him about how I didn't like the way he was treating me. I laid down some ground rules for him, and told him that if he doesn't adhere to them, I will leave him without a thought. There rules were not unreasonable. It just made him become nice to me. Likewise I promised him I will treat him like he treats me. Now we're both not so stressed. :D
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I need help in my marriage. My husband is alcoholic. And I have issues dealing with my anger.
    Wow. Seems like you have a recipe for disaster there. Good that you realizea you need help, especially with your husband's alcoholism and your anger. The combination of these two might lead to harmful violence that is totally needless. Approach a counsellor immediately, or a social worker for guidance on what steps can be done to remedy the situation and prevent any more ugly incidents. If nothing major has happened yet, it's good to start now too!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    My love life after marriage has gone bad. What should I do?
    By love life, do you mean that on an emotional level or a physical level? If its the latter, physical intimacy is a very delicate art, it always seems that some novelty has to be added to it experience to make it always exciting. You can surely google that for more information. As for the emotional level, sometimes the daily grind of a marriage can dull a marriage. If that happens, take some time off to relax together. It helps!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What can I do to improve my relationship with my husband. I love him. Need advice.
    Keep that love alive! I think it's best if you look into this concept of the 5 love languages of a person. It basically tells us how a person prefers to receive love from others, and its the best way to send a message of love directly to him. Once you find out your husband responds to positively, keep doing it and in time your marriage will strengthen. Let him know what your love language is as well, don't make it a one-sided effort!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    "Marital counseling had not effect the first time. Should I call it quits with my wife?"
    Here's a little tweak in the popular (and frankly overused) phrase. "KEEP CALM AND BE PATIENT" Marital counselling works over time, and it requires dedicated and constant effort from both partners to work effectively and at its best. If you find that it doesn't work, it could be that either your partner or you or even both of you are not open about the counselling enough. If you are more receptive and apply the techniques and knowledges learned there with care, it could work. Good luck!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am going through the trauma of marriage breakdown. Please suggest some helpful advice to move on.
    If you live in a modern city area, there just might be a support group or counsellor who specializes in guiding and assisting people who are going through a marriage breakdown. Contact them and they'll definitely help you! If my marriage were to breakdown, I'd think that I would want to go away on a holiday to calm my heart and mind, as lifewanderer suggested.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    "Can a marriage counselor help us with our intimacy issues?"
    I think they should be able too! They are trained to handle and help resolve issues in all aspects of marriage after all, and intimacy is definitely a very huge component. I know it can seem daunting to pour out the information on the most private aspects of your life to someone who might be a complete stranger, but I think that's the beauty of it. You're sharing with a stranger, who you probably will not see anymore after the sessions. So spill the beans, but make sure you're honest about it or you won't be helping yourself at all!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How does marriage counseling help christians who are trying to rekindle their marriage?
    I guess it helps to remind them of the roles and expectations as laid out by God, according to their genders. Christian counselling could also help couples understand that there's a bigger purpose for their roles with each other. There might be a chance for a stronger spiritual connection, which is very important for Christian marriages.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I find a perfect muslim girl for marriage?
    Try your place of worship, which I understand is a mosque. I'm sure there are many activities that they organize for the mosque members. In fact, a female Muslim friend of mine recently mentioned that she went to an event for Muslim singles, where they could get to mix and meet each other in a safe and supervised environment. All the best in your search!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How to apply for online separation agreement?
    I don't think that you need to apply online for any separation agreement, as it doesn't have to be filed by law. But to make the agreement a legally recognised one, you would have to go through a lawyer to help you officiate it and take effect. Making it legal can help you enforce the terms within the agreement so that you won't be at an disadvantage.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Need free relationship advice on how to make my in-laws stay away from us? They are super annoying.
    I know how you feel, I was initially quite irritated with my in-laws since they stayed really close to me (like 5 mins away). Thankfully, they don't come over as often since we don't have any kids. What I do is I just say that I am busy or that I'm not home and they will leave me alone. But I don't avoidance will work in the long run. Just be tactful, and speak to your husband about the issue. You could also choose to go visit your in-laws instead of the other way round. This can put you in control of when you can leave for home or when you can come, because we all know we can't ask guests to leave!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I need some relationship guidance as I am going through a bad phrase of my relationship. Help!
    Hmm. I reckon that you are in need of some good advice on how to tackle the situation, but as some of us have queried, it would help you much better if you tell us in a little bit more detail what the specific problems are which are ailing you. Then, we could help give you a more informed answer that can truly help you in your needs! Right now, all we can say are generic words that may or may not help you. Hope you'll let us know about it soon!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Relationship troubles are affecting my heath now. What should I do? I don't want a break-up.
    Hey there! Your health is very important. Without it, you will not have the right body and mind conditions to tackle the obstacles that come your way, and this less than optimal health issue might cause improper handling of the situation which then deepens or multiplies the problem which will then affect your health and create more problems... You get the picture. The moral of the story is to take a break from the madness and nurse yourself back to health!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Is there one piece of advice that can save my marriage from divorce?
    There's one thing that I've heard a lot from people especially my older relatives, and that is to never go to bed angry. It's important to work things out with your spouse on the day itself before your sleep together. If you're not able to solve the issue before bedtime, then do what is called a 'pause' (thinking of a popular TV show anyone?) on the issue, and continue sleeping together like loving team mates.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What is the secret of second marriage after divorce?
    A second marriage after a failed first might seem like a godsend especially since the divorce might have been a very big blow to one's self-esteem. I think it's best to take things slow and not rush into anything because immediately after the first divorce we are still very vulnerable and need some time to heal. Jumping into things will complicate issues further.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What are the easiest ways of solving a marriage problem?
    Try to be patient and lessen the times that your voice is raised at each other. Kiss and hug each other every day, it's a good way to keep the bond strong between the both of you, but you have to do it will all your heart and sincerity! Make your spouse a priority, he is your team mate and must be considered in all the decisions you make and actions that you take.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How to write one's own separation agreement?
    Separation agreements are much like contracts that state explicitly what the required course of action is needed for the separation. This can include many different types of issues such as the division of assets, who gets custody of the kids, and perhaps even money for maintenance of the kids. The separation agreement is somewhat like a divorce agreement, except the marriage is still legal intact. Pick the terms and conditions that you want for your separation agreement.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Who issues marriage licenses and how long does it take?
    Getting my marriage license took about 3 months from the time I applied for it with my local marriage registry. This was mainly because I chose to have the solemnization outside of the registry at a venue of my choice, and I picked the date myself. If you need a marriage license fast, the registries might be able to consider your case especially in urgent cases.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What is divorce therapy?
    Sometimes divorces are inevitable and divorce theraphy helps to make the passing of the marriage a less painful and distressing experience. This can be done by giving both partners some closure on the event so that they will not feel like there are many unanswered questions. Divorce therapy can also be done on an individual basis, especially if one spouse is less able to handle the divorce than the other.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I find a marriage counselor in my area? I want to do this discreetly.
    Try looking at the newspaper classifieds in your area, or pick up a wellness or marriage magazine. These should have some listings or advertisements of certified counsellors who are more than capable of helping you with your issues. This can also be done discreetly too, so that none of your family or friends will know about it.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I make my marriage work naturally? Why does it have to be so hard?
    For it to flow naturally, you have to instill in the both of you the ideals of being a wife or husband and be at your best behaviour, understanding and have unwavering love at all times! That seems like quite a handful to me, especially since we are all human and sometimes make mistakes. Having this mindset that everything must be perfect is wrong. Marriage is something that you have to work hard at, because like in life, happiness does not come easy. I heard this saying, 'No problem is a problem too!'.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What makes a marriage happy?
    Keep the intimacy between yourself and your spouse at all times. The intimacy is what sets each of you apart from the other people in your lives, and create a special bond between the both of you. Without this intimacy, your spouse might seem like just a friend or a family partner, and that can dampen the relations between the both of you in the long run.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What makes a marriage successful? Define success.
    A successful marriage is defined by a married couple that works together like a team, and ensures each other's welfare before that of anyone else. A good way to help make your marriage a success if to expect less from your partner, which can help you get more from them. We often can place unreasonable demands on our spouses which they are just simply not able to meet, and get upset when they don't. If we expect less of them, then they'll get into your good books right away.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    "How can husband and wife sweeten their relationship?"
    Be nice and polite to each other and don't use harsh words. Be supportive in all ways (as long as it’s rational). When talking about something that displeases you, try to mention it in an objective manner. Once in a while go out and have fun together! Challenge each other by sharing exciting goals and dreams and working towards them together.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    "Should couples seek counseling all through their marriage....given different stages and challenges?"
    Hey there! Marriage counselling is very flexible and adaptable to your needs and can be implemented at any stage of your marriage. This is because the skills and concepts learnt are universal and can be applied at almost any point of time during your marriage. So yes, if you find that you have troubles either in a new marriage or a mature one, counselling can definitely help.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Do gay couples also need counseling?
    Oh why not? As the other commenters above have already pointed out, gay couples probably go through the same issues as us! We are all humans after all. I would imagine that gay partners might have issues about personality dominance, especially since the spouses are of the same genders. However, sometimes being part of a gay couple can be wonderful because your partner is of the same gender and can probably understand what you're going through!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What are the most common relationship problems that a couple may go through?
    I think the most imminent problem is taking your partner for granted. Over time, we get used to each other's quirks, generosities and services done for each other that we forget to say thank you or that we love them. This can put a strain as we might feel unappreciated by the other. Learning to realize the good things about your spouse can help you a lot!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Can you tell some secure dating sites where dating a couple is easier?
    Oh my, I wonder why you'd want to date another couple. I'd imagine that dating one person would already create more issues and troubles that one person can handle, but adding more people to the equation? I'd advice against this because while there is a potential for things to be very fun and dandy, there is also potential for it to turn sour quickly with numerous complications. Think about sexually transmitted diseases and hurt feelings.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am 30 year old married guy and bored with my wife. How can I rekindle romance again in my marriage?
    Treat your wife like a queen and she'll treat you like a king! I think that's a cliched phrase which somehow holds some truth to it. If you make the effort to ensure that your wife feels safe and secure and that you appreciate her looks, sexuality and feminity, you can then get to reap the benefits from it ;)
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What are the best dating sites for married people?
    I think there was recently a scandal with respect to a dating website where the details of each member of the site was posted for the public to see. This caused a lot of distress amongst the members who though that they could keep their identit discreet and keep their families or spouses from knowing that they were a user of the site. Are you sure that you will be able to put up with all these potential stresses or dating a married person or as a married person?
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Are marriage workshops really helpful or just a waste of money?
    My husband and I go for marriage workshops when we have the time and even money to spare for it. We learn many different things, such as how to deal with hardships together and communicate well. The most recent one was about how to parent a teenager effectively, which we found very informative and useful. You have to chose a workshop based on your discretion I suppose!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Which is the most famous couples dating site in the US?
    The most recent one was Ashley Madison. But they suffered from a really huge privacy scandal, where hackers dug out information about their members and posted it for the public to read. Why would you want to engage in couples dating in the first place? It can get very complicated and messy especially when the emotions of more than 2 people are involved.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Suggest some authentic muslim marriage site where I can look for a companion.
    You can look through many muslim website reviews to see if they are truly authentic. Just google it and you will find that many people have reviewed and compared the most popular sites and given their opinion on it. However the best way to discover if a site is authentic is to just sign up and experience it yourself.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    My parents want me to get married soon. Please tell some marriage websites where I can find eligible grooms.
    eHarmony is a very popular website that is used by many adults who are looking for more serious relationships including marriage. Many of them are quite eligible too, but might just be too busy or shy to date others. You can try this website! I do have a word of advice though, it's not wise to get married just because your parents are pressuring you. This could lead you to get married to the wrong person which might cause problems in the long run.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Recently I fell for a married man but after knowing that he is gay I was taken aback. Tell me how can I get rid of him?
    What do you mean by getting rid of him??? I guess it can be difficult to deal with such a shocking revelation especially since you've developed feelings of attachment to a person. However, please know that your crush will pass in time! You can just try avoiding the man for a while, but if you can't avoid him at all, then try to view of him as a friend. A gay best friend might be even better than another girl friend!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What's the harm in secret dating?
    The biggest harm is that the secret will not be a secret anymore! Depending on your situation, the revealing of the secret might harm your reputation and maybe even other's view of you. People might also feel hurt since you do not want to share what's going on in your life with them, especially if they are family or close friends. You could also most likely hurt the one you are dating too especially if he or she does not what the relationship to be secret anymore!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    "Many religions believe that the wife must submit to her husband fully. What should be some of my vows to my husband?"
    The vows are usually dependent on your religion itself. If you were a Christian, the vows would probably look something like this: "I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you."
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Why vows for wedding are considered to be so sacred across the world?
    Vows are very highly regarded rules for the husband and wife to adhere to, to ensure that the marriage works well and does not harm either of the spouses. Vows are taken as lifelong promises, and the words of each spouse will always be held to them - something about honor and integrity that is very highly regarded in most cultures and communities.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Why are teenage relationships so short-lived?
    Teenagers can be rather immature, because they have not gained enough life experience to make proper and informed decisions, especially about relationships. At this age range, they are also more prone to curiousity which might lead them to make ill-informed decisions which they might regret in time to come. They will soon mature and outgrow all the things that they did when they turn into adults, and this might include their relationships.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am lesbian and recently broke up with my girlfriend. Want some relationship advice to deal with the break up.
    I find that writing things out, either in a diary or online on a blog can help me vent some frustration (through the effort in writing) and also help to create a process where I have an outlet this frustration. When writing, I am also able to analyse and understand my feelings, which can help me to come to terms with the turn of events. When all is done an well, I just find that I have a chapter in my story to tell to my future grandkids.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Should dating for teens be allowed? Or should they just focus on studies?
    When my child grows a little older, I will not let him date another girl until he reaches a certain age. Some people might see this as restrictive, but I believe that yes, teenagers can get very distracted by the dynamics of relationships which can affect their concentration on their studies. Relationships cannot guarantee the future of a child, but education will.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am a gay and have been facing many difficulties till date. Need some practical relationship advice.
    Try searching on the internet and you will find a whole host of practical advice on your relationship that are applicable regardless of your sexual orientation. For example, try not to be passive aggressive towards your partner, because it can lead to a lot of un-needed stress and anxiety between the both of you.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How does divorce between parents affect the children?
    Oh, I am sure that a divorce would absolutely devastate a child, because he or she would have gotten used and attached to both parents during the course of childhood. It can be hard to let go of someone they love, especially when lots of memories have been made together. Child might feel a sense of loss and emptiness in his life, even more so if the parent that left did so in an abrupt manner without making any effort to reconnect at all.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Are adult children of alcoholics attracted to those who have compulsive personalities and alcohol problems?
    This is a Schrodinger's cat question. They could or they could not. It depends on how they have personally handled and processed their childhood situation with the alcoholic parent, and on the maturity of their mind. It can be said that sometimes a child of an alcoholic might be repressed in terms of personality growth and mental maturity, but these could be rare cases. It's not generalise about others.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What can be the worst effects of divorce on children?
    A really bad one would be the sense of abandonment, which could grow into fear and resentment of being left behind by everyone else. This can make them develop unhealthy habits that could prevent them from progressing in their social and mental capabilities. In another extreme, the child could be stuck in one early stage or grief such as anger, and resort to violence to help vent their frustrations.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I help my kids in coping with divorce in the beginning?
    Both parents must stay involved in the child's life. Write letters, make phone calls, and ask lots of questions. Stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on matters related to the child. Don't make the child the middle messenger, communicate directly with your ex.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Domestic violence facts mostly show women enduring pain. Why are women still ill-treated?
    Many cultures are still rather patriarchical in nature, which tends to put the needs and opinions of males first. While today we are fighting fervently for women's rights, the sad reality is that we have a long way to go still due to the power oppressions of male dominated cultures. These cultures treat women as second-class, and may resort to justifying any domestic violence on the woman as a form of discipline towards her. I hope that in time women are truly seen as equals to men, but I take heart that we are making good headway.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I have been a victim of domestic violence. If I go for counseling, will it help me?
    Counselling is very effective! Don't discredit it! Counselling can assist many victims in processing their trauma in a safe and sound way, as guided by an expert to ensure that you won't develop any personality disorders as a result of it. It can also help you understand yourself and what lead to the violence so that you can prevent anything from happening in the future.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What is child custody? How is going to benefit children?
    This helps to determine where the child will go to in the event of a social, criminal or divorce case, and who will be in charge of the welfare of the child. In divorce, the child usually stays with 1 parent, but usually the other parent can have joint custody to, so that the child will be able to still stay in touch and bond with both of his parents.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can women seek assistance for domestic violence help?
    If you are caught up in physical domestic violence, call up the authorities right after an attack and let them know what happened. This can help them come down to your location and take action against your spouse. He can be charged and sentenced, as domestic violence is a crime. Most importantly, seek counselling help!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Handling divorce and kids at same time gets difficult. Please tell me about few things for which I need to be mindful.
    When things get difficult, try to get yourself to relax and you will find that you can handle the situation better. If you need help, don't be shy to ask, because the welfare of your kids are at stake as well! Get your parents or other family members or friends to help take care of your children while you rest and recuperate from what is probably the whirlwind that is going on in my life now.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What formalities do I need to fufill during child adoption?
    There are a set of rules that you would have to adhere to when you want to adopt a child, and the criteria honestly depends on the laws of the country you are residing in. For some countries the only formality is to just bring enough cash money when you are coming down to collect the child, unfortunately. However in most law-enforcing countries, the formalities are extremely stringent and often some people do not pass to be adoptive parents.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What is the process of adoption?
    Oh, adoption is something that you have to be sure you are ready for! Hence the selection criteria for parents are very strict and oftentimes wannabe parents don't qualify at all. You have to first ensure that both you and your spouse, besides your own family members, are able to accept and welcome the adopted child as their own.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What are the different types of domestic violence that I should know about?
    In summary from the above, the types of domestic violence include 1. Physical 2. Emotional violence 3. Psychological violence 4. Financial Control 5. Sexual violence Domestic violence as you can see is usually the exertion of one's supposed power over the victim, leaving the victim helpless and unable to fend for herself while being hurt. Domestic violence must be stopped once any inkling of it is detected so as to prevent an escalation of it.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am a single parent and facing lot of health issues. Can you tell me how can I place my baby for adoption?
    'If you decide that adoption is right for your baby, a social worker at the agency will spend some time with you to help you with your decision. You will, in due course, need to give some personal information about yourself, your family and your family's health, for the adopters to be able to share with the child as s/he grows up. However, although preparations for the adoption can begin before your child is born, nothing will be definitely arranged until after the birth. You will be completely free to change your mind.'
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    As a couple we are facing many challenges? Money is a big problem. What should I do?
    Money is usually the number one source of problems for many couples. As they say, money is the root of all evil. I agree with the view that sometimes, it can be hard to willingly share your hard-earned money with your spouse, especially in this cut throat survival of the fittest world we live in. Do your best to work out the financial problems you and your spouse have, even if it means you have to make some sacrifices.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How family counseling services can help us in achieving happiness?
    Family counselling can help each family member understand each other better so that they can live and interact with each other on a more harmonious level. It can thus help to dispel any tensions that a person might have with another, and also prevent the future escalations of any issues. Family counselling can cover a whole range of different topics, allowing the family to gain knowledge and skills that they can apply as and when.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What are types of child maltreatment? What steps should be taken to control this evil?
    Child maltreatment includes situations such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and neglect. Usually children are not mature enough and this quality could be taken advantage of by others. It’s important have someone of integrity and who genuinely cares for the child to supervise the him or her at all times. Even close family or friends cannot be trusted… It’s quite sad.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I am divorced but I do have kids. How can I keep my relationship strong with them?
    Don't make your child feel like he or she is at fault for the divorce. If if you don't feel so but are quarelling about your kid infront of them, the child could gerenally feel like they are the true cause of the divorce, which is a very unfair thing to do since a marriage is between you and your spouse. Also, make sure to always keep in touch with your child no matter what so that he or she does not feel like you're abandoning him.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Is there any possible way to stop domestic violence?
    Stopping domestic violence starts with the victim admitting that something is wrong and taking the relevant actions to prevent him or herself from getting hurt again in the near future. Victims often give excuses for their spouses, however, this can be detrimental and in fact can even encourage more of such incidences often with greater intensities. This situation must be identified and stopped before things go too far!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Can long term effects of domestic violence be controlled?
    As the others have pointed out, counselling is very important for the victim to process the traumatic experience. It helps if you surround yourself with empathizing family and friends who care for you and can provide support and even a shoulder to cry on. Surround yourself with positivity and take heart that there this a rainbow after the rain.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    My husband and I have decided to get divorced. Can you tell me how we can place our children for adoption?
    Please choose adoption only if you find that there is no other way to get around your issue, and if it truly is the best outcome for your child and his or her welfare. The big danger about putting a kid up for adoption is that he or she might not be adopted at all, and will be an a parentless child in a children's home. The situation could pan out in any way.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Do children of divorced parents face issues if they wish to go for a second marriage?
    If the child is still an infant, it might not affect them as much before their memory of the trauma will be forgotten and become long-term memory. However, toddlers, adolescents, teenages and adults must be considered in any decision that the parents wishes to make, especially when new parents are going to be part of the picture. Ensure that the child is still treasured and loved in the second marriage or it could end up like the story of Cinderella, except princes these days rarely hold balls for the general public.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I'm divorcing my husband. But I'm afraid what will happen with our kids? What can I do to keep the bond intact?
    Make sure that you play a very big role in the lives of your children. You can fight for that during a custody battle where you can aim to get joint custody of the kids even if you are unable to get full custody. If you were not granted any rights to be able to see your child, then try to communicate through non face-to-face methods, such as email, phone or online chats.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    How can I keep my younger sister away from teen dating violence after knowing its effects?
    You can't banned your sister from dating even if it is to protect her from the dangers of it. It is her own life after all, and teenagers are notorious for resisting and rebelling hard against any rules that they might deem unfair to them. Instead, I agree that you could talk to her and tell her your concerns while letting her know about the dangers and how she can protect herself from those dangers.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What are the effects of child abuse on children during their growing age?
    I believe that any child that has experienced abuse of any kind will be affected drastically. It is important to get the child on a proper course of counselling so that they can build their self-esteem after the trauma and change any destructive mindsets that they might have developed. In this case individual counselling might work better as the counselling needs of each child would vary by a lot.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    My husband's ex-girlfriend is trying to ruin our life. What can I do in saving my marriage?
    Let your husband know how you feel! I would. Also, if the woman still tries to harrass you and your husband even though he has explicitly told her that he doesn't want anything to do with her, then take the initiative to speak to her yourself and express to her that you don't want her around anymore. If all else fails, that a protection order against her!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    If I review my marriage today, I have to do a lot of work to save it. What should I do?
    If your treasure and value your marriage, then it would be good for you to go through that very work that you find cumbersome and help build your marriage to a peaceful and harmonious one. Nothing ever comes easy, especially if it is worth it. Many people have this consideration that if the marriage is too difficult, they can just have a divorce and avoid all the problems. But you won't learn any valuable lessons from them. Perhaps it is only after thoroughly working through the issues together and if you still find that your marriage is going nowhere that divorce can be on the cards.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Is it true that after marriage love ends and married couples seek other relationships?
    This isn't true at all! In fact, if the couple is in love and committed to each other, then it can only deepen. Granted, there will be some obstacles that might seem like really huge hurdles, and they may come in wave after wave never-ending. But if both of you stay committed to each other, then there would be no reason to seek other relationships.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    My marriage is extremely troubled. I have left his house but there's no mental peace. Need advice.
    Hello! Many things could be runnning through your mind right now, especially if you find that you have no one to share your troubles with in a safe and nurturing environment. Don't do anything rash! Seek a counsellor's help. It could be someone from a social work organisation or even your place of worship. If you feel guilty about running away from the problem, cool down first and think through how you would approach the issue before heading back.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I experience domestic violence at home. Never wanted to be a part of its statistics but what can I do?
    We all here have the same thing to say...Seek professional help immediately!!! there might be some part of you that holds you back because you are afraid of what the outside world will bring and you are afraid of the unknown. But here's one logic I have for you if you're still deciding to seek help. If you fear for your life at the hands of the one who is abusing you, then that is a very big indication that you must get help and get out of your situation quick.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    "Based on what reasons can a wife divorce her husband?"
    The other members above have given very good examples of reasons that a wife can divorce her husband. Although divorce is common, please note that sometimes the judges might not approve a divorce based on the fact that there is no solid evidence and reasons for the divorce.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    I have been saving my marriage since years but it's not working out. Should I file for divorce?
    You might have been trying to save your marriage but have you been using the right techniques, sometimes we react in a way that we might deem as the right way, but it might not be seen so by your other half. Try to discover new methods and techniques of helping your marriage. Enlist the help of a professional if needed!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Can a family member provide help in my marriage? I am ashamed to ask them.
    Any family member that care deeply about you will surely want to help you out in your times of need. You do not need to be embarrassed, because we are all humans and sometimes life does not turn out the way we thought it would be. It is not a competition about who has the best life. Your family members would be concerned and do their best for you.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    Are there any exercises on conflict resolution for couples?
    It's important to cool off for a while after an argument as hot tempers can sometimes add fuel to the fire and create even more tension to the situation. Take some time off, but make sure to go back to discuss the issue with your spouse once both of you can think rationally once more.
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    My husband does not want to have kids. Is this a sign of an unhealthy marriage?
    Not at all! I know of childless couples who are very happy together. However, there is certainly some discrepancy here with regards to you wanting kids and your husband not being open to it. Try to talk to him, get his opinion on the matter. Having kids can be a joyful experience but is also the most nerve-wrecking thing you will ever do, so he might be worried about that. Perhaps the time is not right yet, but discuss it with your husband!
  • Yosemitefaerie answered
    What is couples dating?
    Couples dating is called polyamory. Basically, this means that there are more than 2 people within a relationship. Couples dating can either involve just the just sexual aspect of the relationship, but over time, emotions can develop, making it difficult. Some cultures practice it, but scientific research has shown that most people in polyamorous relationships can be quite unhappy due to jealousy and struggles.
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