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SHAW54
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I am looking for a break from my budy life. Please tell me some christian marriage retreat programs.
    84 Views
    There are numerous marriage retreats for Christians, and most of them offer a variety of activities so that couples in all stages of life can reconnect with each other and with God. Some of the best-known options are: · Marriage Quest in Cabot, Vermont · Marriage Boot Camp in Plano, Texas · The Gottman Institute in Orcus Island, Washington · Sadona Soul Adventures in Sedona, Arizona · Marriage Rescue Associates in Charlotte, NorthCarolina You should be aware that most of these programs are designed to help couples in trouble. If you just want a beautiful getaway, try searching for honeymoon destinations instead.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I have made a lot of friends over online chat. How to get over that habit it's really addictive?
    64 Views
    When we feel that something has become addictive, it’s usually because we want to stop but for some reason, we can’t. If that’s what’s going on, then it would be wise to identify what you’re getting out of online chatting and see if you can get those needs met in other ways. For instance, talking to people online can help make you feel validated or more sure of yourself and your ideals, but if you have to keep going back for more validation then you may have a problem with self-confidence. You could try taking an art class instead or developing a new hobby with others in your area.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I am 16. Is it normal to have an affair with a person who is twice my age?
    Many young people fantasize about being with people who are older, but for someone so young to be in a relationship with someone twice your age, there could be a problem. It’s natural to seek out in a romantic partner the kind of person that reminds us of our parent of the opposite sex, but in this case it sounds like there’s some attempt at replacing that relationship altogether, which isn’t really possible to do in a romance. It could be unhealthy to pursue that relationship, and it may be wiser to develop some insight around what you’re getting out of the affair and learn how to get your needs met another way.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Does saving relationship with my boyfriend is responsible for losing some of my close friends?
    Either your friends or your relationship may be in troubled waters if there’s a conflict between the two. If your friends really care about you, they only want to see you happy. If your marriage is a source of happiness and your friends disapprove, there’s something funny going on there. On the other hand, if your marriage makes you unhappy on a regular basis, your friends may just be looking out for you. They may be worried that you’re selling yourself short or willing to stay with someone who they think doesn’t treat you well. That can be a legitimate source of friction, so you should figure out which relationship is really the problem.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Is it possible to save marriage from divorce when there is no trust between the partners?
    63 Views
    When two people don’t trust each other, it can be hard to enter into a business contract, let alone sustain the most important contract one can make with another – namely the marriage contract. Realizing that marriage is a partnership, both spouses must be able to depend on one another through all of life’s difficulties. Trust is an essential part of any healthy relationship, but especially in marriage. That’s because the level of intimacy required to have a successful marriage is far greater than the emotional bond we may share with anyone else in life.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    When should a Christian couple seek marriage counselling?
    99 Views
    If you have tried solving your problems on your own, you’ve tried praying and talking it out, you may be ready to try marriage counseling as a path to success. You can do this by seeking a mediated conversation with a pastor or clergy member, or go to a licensed therapist for couples counseling. Either way, you should be prepared to share honestly about your concerns and listen to your spouse with an open heart and mind. Invite God to guide your decisions and then listen when the small, quiet voice speaks within you, moving you to make a change.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Can you help me manage and survive an unhealthy marriage? Need some effective tips.
    It would be inadvisable to merely survive an unhealthy marriage. Toxic relationships erode our self-love and our ability to give to the world, so it’s important to detoxify the marriage first. Healthy relationships are based on mutual trust and respect as well as love, but in order to work long-term, a marriage must include good communication channels and teamwork. If any of these components is missing, staying in the marriage will be merely an act of survival and not the beautiful partnership it should be. To find the solutions you’re seeking, work on getting yourself healthy first and then address the toxic relationship.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I save my failing marriage?
    Although every relationship is different, marriages often fail for similar reasons. These include: · Not feeling loved – talk to your partner about what makes you feel loved and how you can show your spouse love in return. The feeling of love is not enough to sustain a marriage. Acts of love must be prioritized so that both partners feel the presence of that love every day. · Lack of trust or respect – One or both spouses may not feel they get the respect they deserve, and may not trust one another. Deal with the root causes to fix the marriage.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I am tring to save my marriage after infidelity. Are there any positive chances for it?
    Infidelity is a sign that someone isn’t fulfilled. That may not be due to the relationship itself, though, as very often a cheater might be in a good relationship and still not feel fulfilled. They might look outside the relationship for satisfaction, when really the solution lies within themselves. By talking with a marriage counselor, the couple can find out what that person felt like they were missing, or what they were getting out of the affair. Once that’s understood, both the individual and the couple can take steps to make sure both parties are getting what they need from the marriage.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How to save a marriage from divorce?
    66 Views
    Couples who are looking into divorce are already in deep pain. The marriage may be the source of that pain, but it could also just be the fall guy. When we live with someone in our lives permanently, it can become easy to blame the other person for how we feel, or blame the relationship for not fulfilling us the way we expect. It’s important to examine whether the pain we’re feeling is really coming from our own past, our insecurities, or our needs not getting met. When we work to heal ourselves, it can clear up problems we thought were the fault of the marriage, too.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I seek support in my troubled marriage?
    Some of the best places we turn to for support in life (friends, family, even co-workers) may not be the best place to go when we need support in our marriage. That’s because our loved ones will try to be loyal to us, and may think they’re being helpful when we’re angry at our spouse and they jump on the bandwagon. In reality, though, this can make things worse. When asking for support, then, it’s important that we clarify to our friends that we aren’t bashing (and don’t want them to bash) our spouse, that we just need someone to listen and be supportive.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I seek marital help online?
    There are many internet forums, blogs, advice columns and eBooks that can help you with marriage problems online. If you understand why you’re having trouble in your marriage, use the information to help you find the right resource. For instance, some marriages suffer after a loss such as miscarriage, while others experience difficulty with in-laws butting in. You can usually do a search for the specific problems you’re having to find support and advice for dealing with that issue. General marital support is also available, but the devil, as they say, is always in the details – so be sure you understand them.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Can you suggest me some ways to save my marriage from divorce. Need free counseling.
    55 Views
    Divorce is the option of last resort for most couples, and not to be discussed lightly when you’re simply having a bad day. If the marriage is causing one or both of you serious pain, it will take time to uncover why that’s happening and find solutions. Some of the best advice comes from self-help books, which can be found for free at your local public library. You should explore what kind of relationship problems you’re experiencing, such as: infidelity, abuse, neglect, or growing apart. These issues spring from fundamental problems with trust, respect and dignity, but the problem itself will help point you in the right starting direction.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I am a Christian, trying to save my marriage. Really need some help.
    As a Christian, you know that God has sanctified your union and wants you to succeed, but sometimes the path may not be easy to find. Try focusing on Jesus’ teachings with regard to forgiveness and God’s unconditional love. If you can emulate that kind of love in your marriage, you will find healing. You should also be aware if there are harmful relationship patterns, such as abuse or neglect, as these can’t be overlooked. Although not prominently discussed in scripture, negative behaviors such as these undermine relationships – even those sanctioned by God. Finally, be sure you are grounded not only in faith, but also in love, mutual respect, and trust.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    What are some amazing marriage counseling therapy techniques?
    50 Views
    One of the most amazing things you can do for your marriage is to perfect the art of listening. A lot of the service provided by marriage counselors is geared toward improving communication between couples. You can learn these skills on your own if you’re willing to think outside the box. Couples therapy will teach you how to use “I statements” and active listening, and may even provide conversational prompts to help a couple start the conversation. Tools like, “Five things I like about you…” and “Ten ways you could make me happy if you wanted to…” can help bring couples together.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I save my marriage and make it divorce-proof. Some ideas?
    There is no silver bullet to making your marriage divorce-proof, but there are many strategies that work for solidifying a couple’s commitment to each other. Start by sharing your feelings and working honestly through any problems that arise. Nip them in the bud, and make partnership with your spouse your top priority. Agree on a set of ground rules for how you will handle conflict, and stick to it. When arguments happen, try to keep the bigger picture in mind so you don’t end up with petty bickering. Lastly, always learn from your mistakes. The happiest couples are those who grow and learn together.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I need some online marriage help tips that really work. Please suggest some.
    The most successful marriages are built on solid foundations. Aside from love, these include: · Mutual respect – this means holding your partner in high esteem, but also includes self-respect and respect for each other’s boundaries · Trust – you can’t be yourself with someone when you’re always afraid they’ll do something to hurt you or the relationship · Shared experiences – the longer a couple stays together and the more they’ve gone through as a team, the more likely they are to be happy with each other · Common philosophy – whether it’s religion, political views, or social customs, the more a couple shares a common approach to life, the easier it is to get along
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Need some tips to save my marriage. My husband is still in touch with his ex. What can I do?
    Many people go on to have successful relationships without breaking off contact with an ex-lover or former spouse. Consider all the couples who have kids and therefore must maintain contact. The problem is not the current association with an ex, but that relationship could be problematic to your marriage if your husband is keeping his ex “on the back burner,” so to speak. If your husband (or his ex) is simply waiting out your marriage in hopes that they can rekindlen their romance, then he must address his fear of failing in marriage. If that’s not the case, then you should focus on why you’re feeling jealous.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Can marriage scriptures heal your broken marriage?
    86 Views
    Scripture can be an excellent place to start when focusing the conversation on healing a broken marriage, but it’s not the only place to visit for help. You must realize that scriptures may lay out ideals that work beautifully if you share a bond of trust and respect with your spouse, but absent the core strengths any relationship needs (love, trust and mutual respect). Scriptures frequently offer only a vague sense of what a marriage should look like. Using scripture alone to heal a broken marriage can leave spouses feeling shamed or isolated, rather than emotionally and spiritually bonded together, which is what’s needed for healing.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Can you tell me some really helpful ways to save my marriage?
    If your marriage is facing difficulties, you can usually rescue the relationship if you know what’s causing problems, but finding outthe root causes will require some effort on your part. First, both parties must want to solve the problems. If not, no amount of effort on one person’s part will save the marriage. Second, marital troubles are usually not be based on just one thing; to learn more about the patchwork of issues going on in your relationship, you’ll need good communication skills, including active listening. Third, be open to doing things differently. You won’t save your marriage by doing the same things that got it into trouble.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I save my marriage from divorce when my spouse is willing to get separate?
    196 Views
    If your spouse wants to get separated, you shouldn’t try to force them to stay. Separation is often called a “trial separation” because it gives the couple breathing room as they try to sort out their problems. It doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed, just that the individuals may find it easier (and healthier) to live apart while they work on their issues. During the separation period, find out what your spouse wants and needs from the relationship that they haven’t been getting, and be honest about whether it will be realistic for them to get their needs met with you.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Jun 08, 2018
    How can I fix my parent's troubled marriage?
    1.4k Views
    It’s natural to want to help, especially if your parents are having trouble in their marriage.  There are many things you can do to support a healthy relationship, but little you can do to fix other people’s problems when things aren’t going well.  One of the best things people can do to support family members in their marriages, is to not take sides.  Remember that marriage is a partnership and therefore two “sides” are really an illusion that separates people, rather than bringing them together.  If your parents’ marriage is going to survive, they’ll need to remember that they’re on a team and must work together.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I fix my marriage without going to the counselor?
    63 Views
    If you’re having marital problems, fixing them on your own can be difficult. That’s because you’re almost always going to be using the same tools to fix the problem as the ones that got you into trouble in the first place. To fix problems in your relationship, you’ll need to learn some new tools, such as better communication skills and listening habits. If you want to tackle problems on your own, make sure you understand healthy communication patterns such as “I statements” and active listening. Be sensitive to your spouse’s feelings and work together for solutions.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    What causes jealousy in a romantic relationship?
    Jealousy comes from a place inside us that feels inadequate for who we are or what we have (or don’t have). When a person becomes jealous over a spouse’s behavior with another person of the opposite sex, it can mean that the spouse was inappropriately flirting, which makes their partner feel insecure. But it could also be that the person already felt insecure, and seeing their spouse with someone else triggers a feeling that was already there. Either way, the only way to address the jealousy is to heal the feelings of inadequacy and communicate the problem to the spouse.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Are legal separation and divorce different things?
    48 Views
    Legal separation is usually a step that happens before divorce proceedings are begun. However, sometimes a couple will file for divorce before separating physically. A legal separation is often referred to as a “trial separation” because the idea is to see if the two people are happier and healthier when they’re apart. Sometimes during a separation, couples counseling can be more effective, because the couple won’t be living together and won’t have the opportunity to argue. In other cases, once the couple is separated, no one is still hoping to work things out, and marriage counseling wouldn’t make a difference.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Please tell me steps that can survive an affair and infidelity?
    Surviving infidelity is a choice. You must decide if your marriage is based on solid foundations, or if the infidelity is a symptom of a larger problem. Infidelity is usually a sign that the person isn’t getting their needs met in a relationship, but that may or may not be the fault of a lackluster marriage. Oftentimes, an affair just represents the person’s need to feel desired by someone different – whether it be someone younger or older, from a different class or economic background, etc. That may be an indication of the person’s insecurity rather than a relationship problem itself.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I am a lesbian and have been hiding this truth from my parents. How can I tell my parents about my affair?
    80 Views
    You know your parents best, so you can probably guess how they will react. However, you may be surprised what they already know about you (or at least suspect), and you may not really be hiding anything at all. Consider the alternative to telling your folks. How long can you continue to keep them in the dark? If it is inevitable that you tell them the truth, find a way to do it where you will have the support you need, no matter how they react. Plan what you’ll do before the meeting to keep yourself grounded and afterward to get the emotional encouragement you may need.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Tell me some of the smartest marriage tips that can help me in long run?
    A lot of marriages fail because they are based on unrealistic expectations of romance. Hollywood has not done us any favors there; neither have fairy tales. Try to separate your concept of an ideal marriage from anything you’ve read, seen in movies or watched on TV. Marriage is a partnership between two fallible human beings, and will be difficult even for those who are well matched. Partnership isn’t the same as romance, which is why it can be disappointing for those who have an ideal carved out from popular culture. The best tip is to treat your marriage like a team, and be on each other’s side through thick and thin.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Are the rules for divorce law different in each country?
    52 Views
    Rules for divorce are different in every country, but they can also vary slightly even in different states. That’s why it can be helpful to consult a divorce lawyer long before you’ve even made the decision to end the marriage. Knowing the local laws and customs can help you as you work through what issues are plaguing your relationship. For instance, child custody laws and norms are practiced differently, and the division of property is usually determined by state law. These rules greatly affect the outcome of divorce, and should not be taken lightly when thinking through the options.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    Why one should go for a marriage and family counseling?
    49 Views
    There are many different reasons for seeking a marriage and family counselor. The most common are: · Before tying the knot – a lot of couples seek short-term counseling to establish the norms in their relationship, such as who will be responsible for which duties around the house, who will pay bills and how children will be raised · When trouble arises – Don’t wait until you’re ready to call it quits before seeking help from a qualified professional. Small problems become worse if they aren’t worked out early · Before separating – Some couples will try one last time to solve marital problems in hopes of finding a solution
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I make my life stable by avoiding all marriage problems?
    52 Views
    Most relationships experience ups and downs because we are all human, and we each bring our own unique set of problems to any relationship. That said, you can avoid the bigger problems in marriage by following some good advice: · Trust and respect your partner, and expect the same in return · Communicate how you feel without attacking or blaming, and expect that they love you enough to care · Make big decisions together and consult one another on anything important · Do whatever you promise to do, and don’t do anything you say you won’t do
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    What are the ways of healing a marriage?
    Healing a marriage can be complex, but the same basic principles apply no matter what damage has been done. Good relationships are based on love, but also trust and respect. If one of these components is missing in your marriage, focusing on that first will speed up the healing. If you feel you can’t trust your partner, that must be addressed first, or you won’t make much headway. When trust is not an issue, you can share your feelings and discuss what’s bothering you. With respect, you can hear each other out, and you can both work together towards the same goal.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    What are the basic steps to save a marriage?
    Marriages that are in danger usually lack the same basic tools that can make them work. · Good communication skills are essential for working out problems before they take over. Practice using “I statements” and active listening to better understand your spouse and share your concerns. · Respect your partner’s feelings as you work through your own without blaming. · Avoid words like “always” and “never,” as in “You always do…” or “You never…” These are “You statements” anyway, and are not likely to help. If you treat your spouse like a member of the same team, working together instead of competing or debating, your marriage is likely to improve quickly.
  • SHAW54 answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    We are newlyweds and I am suspicious of my mother-in-law of not being happy with me. How can I save our marriage?
    77 Views
    In-laws are often difficult to please, but that doesn’t need to threaten your relationship. Your spouse’s parents are very interested in seeing their child happy in marriage, and for one reason or another, your in-laws have their doubts. You shouldn’t worry too much about their thoughts on your marriage, though. As long as your spouse isn’t listening to their advice, you can be very happy in love despite their feelings right now. If they are good parents, then seeing their child in a fulfilling marriage will be all that’s necessary to win them over in the long run.
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