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Pepper

  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    My wife is unhappy in marriage. Is divorce the next thing?
    440 Views
    No, it doesn't have to be. She will appreciate it if you will sit down with her and ask her what is wrong. Don't get defensive, don't argue and don't offer advice - just listen. Women often feel that there men are not really paying attention when they talk to them; that their attention is on something else. You can also try praising her, giving her hugs or an unexpected phone call just to say that you are thinking about her.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    What to do when you are unhappy to make yourself happy?
    I can also testify to walking helping with my depression. I never felt like going, but I used to take my dogs who sat and waited for me to go, which was motivation. Making sure I ate healthily was also a mood booster. Another thing I have learnt is to be happy right now. Life will never be perfect, but there is always something to be grateful for. Sometimes all I can think of is ``I am grateful for a hot shower¨ but it is a start.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    I want to divorce my snoring wife as I am not happy with her. How to file a divorce?
    236 Views
    I have lived with a husband who snores and I know how murderous you can feel in the middle of the night, when they carry on snoring no matter how often you prod them or push them to roll over. We eventually slept in separate rooms, which meant we both got a good night´s sleep. The fact that you want to divorce her seems to me that there are other issues here, and the snoring is just one of them.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    What is annulment of marriage? How is it different from divorce?
    The grounds for annulment include bigamy, forced consent to the marriage, fraud (misrepresentation), if it is prohibited by law (like siblings), mental illness, mental incapacity ( being under the influence of drugs or alcohol), underage marriage or inability to consummate the marriage. An annulment basically means that the marriage never existed and is wiped away. It can be instituted by either the husband or the wife, who msut provide evidence for their claims.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    How to cope with divorce and loneliness?
    95 Views
    It has not been easy as I am quite introverted by nature. I have had to push myself to attend functions or outings I may not have wanted to go to. I also volunteered at an animal charity shop, which has given me the feeling that I am doing something useful, and has also meant that I have met new, like-minded people. I cleared out my home, getting rid of clutter and things that held too many hurtful memories. And now, after 7 years, I am finally at the stage where I have hung up family photos including ones with my ex-husband in them, and my life is full and better than it has ever been before.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    I have been unhappily married for some time. How to end my marriage with ease?
    Even if you ahve been unhappy for some time, you msut realise that ending a marrigae feels like having a part of you ripped away. I nded my marriage after 20 years, after trying everything I knew to fix it. I sat my husband down, and calmly told him that I had reahed a deision after much thought, and that it was non-negotiable. I wish I could tell you that it was easy, but it is not. But making the decision is the hardst part. And my father offered good advice - never say or do nything that you will be ashamed to remember.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    What if I disagree with the grounds for divorce?
    117 Views
    It seems to me that in a contested divorce, the only people who win are the lawyers. If you can finalise itt out of court with your spouse, an uncontested divorce is cheaper and easier to get through court. Some countries or states have a ruling that you don't have to have reasons for divorce; it is enough just to want one. If you disagree with the grounds, you could tell your spouse that you will go ahead with the divorce but want the reasons modified.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    How to keep problems rising from divorce and children separate?
    71 Views
    I think the most important thing is to remind yourself that you love your children more than you ``hate´´ your husband. I have been through a divorce so I have experienced it first-hand. When very stressed, I walked the dogs for miles, until I started to feel calmer and less stressed. This was so that I would not take out my frustration and anger on my children. I have also tried not to say negative things about my ex-husband in front of the children. I do not want to poison their minds, not for my ex-husband´s sake, but for my children's sake. I have tried to make our home calm and happy. For me, an important step was to begin communicating with my ex-husband by email instead of on the phone. It made it easier to keep my temper and think before I replied.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    How should I solve my common problems in marriage?
    94 Views
    The most common problems in marriage are not setting boundaries, lack of respect, selfishness, lack of affection, explosive anger, poor communication, addictions, laziness, dishonesty and others. Knowing that other couples face similar problems may help you not to feel alone. Try to work together to solve the problem instead of fighting against each other.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    What are anger management counseling techniques?
    85 Views
    Anger is normal and anger management is not about suppressing it. It is about learning to control it and using it to get positive results. First, try to discover if anger is covering up other emotions, like hurt or insecurity or fear. Secondly, become aware of the signs that you are getting angry. Learn ways to cool off and find other ways to express your anger. Talk about what makes you angry at a time when you are not angry.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    How can I bless my friends with wedding wishes in case I can't express them in words?
    73 Views
    Look online if you can`t think of the right words. Or perhaps some words from a favourite book of poetry. It is always better to write too little rather than too much as it can easily sound awkward. ``Congratulations´´ is always acceptable. ``Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness´´ is also a lovely sentiment. ``Wishing you a long and happy marriage´´ is also a good idea. Be careful if you try to be funny - it can easily flop and sound stupid.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    Does couples counseling really works?
    63 Views
    Yes, it will work if both partners are on board and want it to succeed. It gives both parties the feeling that someone is listening. A third party can also step in to keep things calm so that progress can be made. The therapist can also ask relevant questions which may help the couple to look at the problems in a different light. Over 90% of couples report that it has helped them. This may not always mean that the couple is encouraged to stay together. The therapy may result in the couple seeing that they are not in a healthy relationship and encourage them to end it.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    Can you tell me some best proposal ideas?
    Ask her best friend where her favourite place is or what her idea of a dream proposal would be. It might be something you hadn't thought of. If you are outdoor people, organise a romantic picnic as a surprise at the end of a hike or horse ride. If she is a romantic, taking her to an old-fashioned movie evening in the park is an idea. If she is more of a culture-lover, take her to an art gallery or museum. Arrange with the owner to fill a room with balloons or flowers and propose there. Choose something that you know she enjoys and is unique to you as a couple.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    Can you share some marriage advice for men, specifically?
    90 Views
    At the beginning of a relationship, write down all the things you love about your partner, hide it somewhere and take it out regularly to remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place. Try to find something to praise instead of always criticising. Spend regular time on your own, away from children, friends and family. Always put yourself in their shoes and don't do or say something you wouldn't want done to you. Hug your wife and tell her you love her many times a day and see what a difference it makes.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    Suggest me a long distance relationship advice that can help me sustain my relationship.
    97 Views
    Long distance relationships can work if you are determined and committed enough. Keep regular contact but not to the point of being a pest. Be sure that both of you have agreed with what is acceptable and what is not - such as going out in groups or singly with others. You can use Skype to still do things together, like play a game or watch a movie. Make visits very special and don't waste them fighting over insignificant things.
  • Pepper answered a question on Sep 03, 2015
    Can you help me save my marriage from everyday issues?
    100 Views
    Discussing everyday issues in a clam, win-win way like you are a team is essential. Little problems can become monumental issues if left unresolved. Try to mention the problem in just a few words, without accusation. Be honest and don`t try to manipulate your partner. Accept that they may have a different point of view to you. Look for ways that you can both get what you want.
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