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Mathisurendran

About

My blog deals with marriage problems, self improvement and parenting. I feel marriages should be saved at any cost. Making much ado about relationship problems make your married life very stressful.http://www.breezystorm.com/
  • mathisurendran asked a question on Mar 03, 2016
    Why do you outgrow your spouse soon after your marriage?
    95 Views
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 12, 2016
    I need relationship help. Can you give tips to save my relationship?
    You have not specified the relationship problems you are undergoing. Is your sposue unloving and uncaring? Is your interaction with him\her very tensed and hostile? Do you play the blaming game? These just a few of the relationship issues couples face. You should analyze your relationship and find where it is going wrong. Make efforts to rectify it. You should nurture your married life. Otherwise you can never make it work.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 12, 2016
    How can I date my husband? We're a married couple and he seems uninterested.
    72 Views
    This is a stressful life we all lead. This has affected married life too. Your husband might be overworked and so feels completely disinterested in his relationship. You should never nag him as it puts him off. Do not talk about family problems alone. It makes your husband nervous and edgy. Be well dressed before him. Be friendly and understanding. Have a smiling face. Plan a date for the just two of you. You will feel very excited as lovers as the day nears.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 07, 2016
    I am having trouble with my in-laws. Can you tell me how I can get along well with them?
    79 Views
    Are you living in a joint family? It creates various unwanted problems between you. You do not have the freedom to live your married life as you wish to. This creates lots of misunderstanding between you. You are wrong if you treat your in laws as your enemies. You must understand they are your extended family and so you should respect them. But they cannot and should not poke their nose into your personal life with your husband. Spacing is very important for your relationship with your in laws to be tolerable. Do not insult them. Be friendly but show them that you would not tolerate if they enter into your married life.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 07, 2016
    "I am dealing with a serious conflict with my in-laws. How can I resolve this as my husband is not very supportive? "
    100 Views
    In laws issues is one of the gravest problems you face in your married life. You can neither thrust them away from you as unwanted nor can you bring them into your life as most wanted. Your relationship with your in-laws will be tolerable only when you live away from them. Are you living in a joint family? You do not have enough privacy to truly understand your husband. Talk to your husband in a reasonable manner that living seperately does not mean he is ignoring his parents. Do not think in laws problems will affect your relationship with them only. It will slowly make inroads into your relationship with your husband also.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 07, 2016
    I am looking for marriage counselors who can give advice for newlyweds.
    55 Views
    How can marriage counsellors advice newly wedded couple? You have to make your marriage work, not they. You will face lot of problems in your initial days of your marriage. When you live together you see a newer side of your sposue which you never thought existed. Do not make it a big issue. Overlook the minor faults of your spouse. Keep communicating. You can argue with your spouse but you should not let your anger last. DO NOT HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS AS IT WILL NEVER MATERIALIZE. ACCEPT YOUR SPOUSE FOR WHAT HE\SHE IS.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 07, 2016
    Asking for advice
    149 Views
    This the most common marriage scenario. Modern technology has literally destroyed many marriage relationships. Your wife talks in the mobile for long time because your relationship has become very routine and boring. You should nurture your relationship, otherwise your married life can be very stressful. Do not talk only about family matters with your wife. It is always very argumentative. Take her out often. Go for long walks. Talk about things that interest her. Buy her surprising gifts. Demostrate your love openly. Listen to her thoughts.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 06, 2016
    I'm scared to go for couples counseling. But my partner insists. How should I overcome this fear?
    299 Views
    Marriage counselling points out where your relationship is going wrong. Nothing else. It cannot work wonders in your married life. Marriage counselling has become the new trend because you do not make any efforts to nurture your relationship. In fact counselling can make your problems worse when your mistakes are pointed out from the angle of the counselor. Why don't you solve your problems between yourself? It works much better.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 06, 2016
    I trust my wife, but should I be worried about this?
    66 Views
    Modernity has made married life very complicated. Unless some distance is maintained from the opposite sex it leads to many problems in your relationship. Your wife might be friendly with her boss, but she is overdoing it. She should not spend too much outside work hours with him. Do not suspect her. But you must talk to her before you become paranoid with suspicion. Do not ask probing questions. Be very reasonable and understanding. I hope she understands.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 05, 2016
    What are the various kinds of spousal abuse?
    Most of you think that verbal and physical abuse are the only types of abuse. There are many more. When your spouse does not support you in your times of stress and tension, he\she is abusing you emotionally. When you do not have any say in the family decisions, it is abuse of your rights. When you do have your spacing in your married life it is total abuse of your freedom. When your spouse takes arbitrary financial decisions you are being cheated financially.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 05, 2016
    I'm divorcing my husband. But I'm afraid what will happen with our kids? What can I do to keep the bond intact?
    176 Views
    I do not know the reasons behind your divorce. But it definitely will affect the happiness of your children. Suddenly they are thrown into a situation where they have to live with a single parent. But if your married life had been abusuve they would have been witness to your arguments and fights with your husband. If you were in the right and your husband had been callous and totally abusive towards you they would understand your stand. But if you were the reason behind the divorce they would inwardly resent you. You should talk to them frankly. If you remarry immediately it is another blow to their happiness. You have to be very patient to retain your bond with them.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 05, 2016
    Husband never home
    153 Views
    It is indeed sad that your husband never feels it is his duty to spend time with you. But you say he is very charismatic,outgoing and super fun. Very rare qualities in a husband nowadays. Do not go for counsellins as it will never help you. In fact your husband would feel frustrated and angry that you had arranged a thrid party to advice him. But he is definitely duty bound to spend qualilty time with you. You say your husband is fun. But are you fun and outgoing? Or do you nag himm threadbare about not finishing his degree. Do not pressurize him. When you nag he will find all sorts of excuses to stay away from home. You should make his stay at home pleasurable. You should have a frank talk with him about your lonelines. But when you fight he will not listen. But if you are pleasing he definitely will listen to you. Divorcing your husband for this is a blunder. Do not even think of it. Ask your husband whether you are doing anything wrong. There is always two side of a coin. You too might be commiting relationship mistakes.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 05, 2016
    Apathy 25 years married.
    78 Views
    You are going through a depression phase in your life. When persons close to you die it makes you feel empty and cynical. You feel there is nothing in life that is worthy. It also reflects in your relationship if you brood too much about your loss. You say your wife is a very good person. Do you know it is very rare to see such understanding wife in this modern age. You are just 57. You have a long innings ahead of you. This is the time which can be very precious to your relationship. You have fulflilled your duties. You can relax and enjoy your life. Go for vacations with your wife. Spend quality time with her. Pray for your friends. That is all you can do. Life has to go on.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 04, 2016
    Can you share some evergreen relationship advice for men?
    2.1k Views
    Ever green advice for men! Here goes! Demostrate your love openly. Share her household chores. Understand the need for emotional back up of your wife. Listen to her attentively- I am might as well be talking to a wall is the complaint most wives have about their husbands. Rembember her birthdays. Buy her surprising gifts. Apprectate her.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 04, 2016
    I have a doubt that my wife is having an affair. How can I catch her red-handed?
    Why do have doubts about your wife? Do you have proof about her infedility? Do not suspect your wife on your assumptions. Suspicion in married life can destroy your relationship. Your mental peace disappears. Ask your wife directly about your doubts. But be very reasonable. If you are wrong she is going to hate you. Confirm your doubts.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 04, 2016
    I am having an affair with my boss. How can I hide this truth from my husband?
    Extra marital affair can wreck your marriage. You say you want to hide your affair with your boss from your husband. How can you be so unthinking? Do you know what you are doing will ultimately end your marriage. Your boss too will outgrow you very soon. Do not feel smug that your husband will never know about your affair. He will definitely come to know about it. How can you face him? Loyalty in marriage is very important for its survival. Get out of the affair before it destroys your marriage.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 04, 2016
    I am 16. Is it normal to have an affair with a person who is twice my age?
    You are too young to think of an affair. Do not divert your mind on things which could make you lose concentration in your studies. That too with a man twice your age! Unimaginable! Do not commit this blunder as this relationship will never have a future at all. But the way it destroys your life would be traumatic. 
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 04, 2016
    What are some questions you should ask before you marry?
    5.3k Views
    A very apt question today's marriage scenario. You discuss in detail your wedding plans with your spouse. But both forget to plan your married life. You should discuss about your financial commitment which has to be continued afer your marriage also- like helping your parents. You should discuss about whether you are going to live in a joint family or in a nuclear family - very applicable to Asian couples. About your loans and repayments. About your likes and dislikes. Th allocation of money - who should share how much of family financial commitments. Am I talking too much of money related problems. Money is the number one cause of conflicts in married life.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 03, 2016
    Why do you outgrow your spouse soon after your marriage?
    95 Views
    I feel you outgrow your spouse soon after your marriage becasue of your high expectations. You have very idealistic expectations about your spouse. But invariably you are disappointed. You become too focused on money that you fail to demonstrate your love for your spouse. You always talk about important family issues with your sposue which is often argumentattive and confrontational. Unless you nurture your relationship you soon lose interest in each other. The success of your marriage will never be handed over to you in a platter. You have to work for it.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 03, 2016
    What are some questions you should ask before you marry?
    5.3k Views
    Most marriages flop because you discuss your wedding day to perfection. But you never plan your married life. You should have frank discussions with your spouse. You must tell him\her about your commitments that have to be continued after marriage- like helping your parents. You should be very transparent about your loans and repayments. The number one cause for heated arguments between you after marriage. Frank discussion you have with your spouse can save many later misunderstanding in your marriage.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 03, 2016
    """After being married, flirting with another man is ethically correct?"""
    You are taking your marriage very lightly. You might think that flirting is harmless. But your husband will never like it. Why should you flirt with another man who means nothing to you? Marriage is serious business. Don't make it a mess by behaving in an immature manner. If you truly love your spouse you will keep a respectable distance from another men. Analyze your relationship with your husband. Plug in the loopholes. Be loyal to your husband. Flirting is a mild form of disloyalty.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 03, 2016
    How to cheer my wife's mood when she is unhappy?
    208 Views
    First find out why your wife is unhappy. ou should make her feel that you are there to support her. Taking her out will immediately relieve her happiness. Hug her with care. Your wife will adore it. Buy her gifts she had always wanted. Listen atttentively to her reasons. Listening to your wife is the ultimate way of making her happy.
  • mathisurendran answered a question on Mar 01, 2016
    I have been saving my marriage since years but it's not working out. Should I file for divorce?
    258 Views
     You say you have been working for years to save your marriage. What sort of problems do you have? It is very easy to divorce, but very difficult to save it. You might think that divorce is an easy way out. But in actual facti it isn;t. Divorce has finality attached to it. It can destroy your mental peace. Do you have children? Divorce can shatter their lives.It is strange why couples opt for divorce instead of trying to build up their marriages. Everyone has relationship problems. There is no perfect marriage in this whole world. There is no perfect spouse either. I think unless your spouse is a maniac you should try to save your marriage. You will feel you  have made the right choice as you age.  
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