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Marriage_com

  • Marriage_com answered a question on Oct 05, 2015
    How to fix marriage problems?
    96 Views
    Here is an 8 step rescue plan: Make a list of all the issues - Write down everything you both have disagreements on. From financesto personality issues; write down everything that bother you about your spouse. This helps in acknowledging that these are the problem-points in your marriage. on yourself - No one likes to be told that this or that is their flaw. However, we all know our shortcomings. Acknowledge this on your own - come to terms with them and ask yourself what are some solutions that can help you overcome them. Cut the negativity out: Cut everything out that can taint your relationship. This means no more anger, criticism, accusations or sarcasm. Definitely no more anger escalations. Stay in the calm zone and fight fairly, constructively. Express concerns positively - do not belittle each other or make huge issues out of small concerns. They will always be there- you need to handle them positively. Speak nicely always. Example: My concern is ……….. Take decisions together - be a solid couple! Remove the 3A's - Anger, addictions and affairs out of your marriage. Increase positive energies - Smile more. Touch more. Hug more. More “eye kisses.” More sex! All this equals to more positive energies in your marriage. Look at your parents marriage - Look back and dwell on this some more. What were some of the things you liked in their marriage? Some things that you hated? Take inspiration from both positives and negatives - gain some insight regarding what you must do or avoid in your own marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Oct 05, 2015
    What are anger management counseling techniques?
    85 Views
    Generally, anger management counseling techniques require a willingness to “stick with it” on the part of the individual wrestling with anger. A treatment approach is listed below, while not exhaustive, will help the angered individual work toward recovery. Identify one or more of the 10 types of anger that personally applies.Recognize the signs, symptoms, and impact of anger. Identify impaired thinking that promotes anger.Learn strategies to manage anger more effectively. Learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger. Reduce the body tension of anger by learning de-escalation (isometric/deep-breathing techniques). Learn conflict resolution skills.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Oct 05, 2015
    What to expect when you are expecting a baby?
    76 Views
    There is so much to do when expecting a baby. Here are a list of small but important steps to take when you are waiting for a bundle of joy to arrive. 1. Find a physician to monitor your pregnancy 2. Watch the diet! 3. Refrain from smoking and drinking alcohol 4. Identify a potential pediatrician for your little one. 5. Work toward financial stability. 6. Create a supportive network to include your partner, family members, and friends.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Oct 05, 2015
    What are the the ways to save a marriage after having an affair?
    76 Views
    The secrets, the lies, and the half-truths associated with an affair do unimaginable damage to the marital bond. If the marriage is to be saved, full disclosure must be the first step. The unfaithful partner must be willing to cover all issues – partners, duration of the relationships, etc. – for the rebuilding to truly begin. Both partners must also share a willingness to engage in intense counseling so that the issues underlying the infidelity may be processed. Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, the affair must end immediately.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Oct 05, 2015
    Why is intimacy so important in a marriage?
    138 Views
    Intimacy literally means ‘closeness.’ Two people that come together to form a marital union, must have what’s called emotional intimacy in order for their marriage to be successful. Emotional intimacy is a sense of closeness and bonding that can be spiritual and therapeutic. It can also refer to emotional maturity, in which bonding is achieved through our ability to divulge our vulnerabilities, our deepest, most personal emotions, and to listen attentively to our partners. Physical intimacy, in which we give one another affection, is equally important to us as humans. Experts have discovered that there are certain pheromones, hormones, and endorphins that are released, when we engage in physical intimacy as well as emotional intimacy. These endorphins flood the reward pathways of the brain, leading us to experience joy. Joy is absolutely vital to any marriage that’s going to last.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Oct 05, 2015
    How do I tell my boyfriend that I am pregnant?
    217 Views
    Regardless of how you think he will take the news, you will want to be sure and choose a time that you are alone together, relaxed, and focused on each other. You don’t want to deliver the information too abruptly, nor do you want to keep him in suspense for too long. If this is a planned pregnancy, you won’t need too much preparatory discussion. If it isn’t, weigh out all of the potential reactions he could have, and how you will respond. Understand that this is a very significant reality you are about to drop on him – he may react in a way you weren’t expecting. Also, the way he reacts when you tell him initially may not be indicative of how he will feel later; so be prepared for some ongoing discussion as emotions change.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 29, 2015
    How to get over infedility in a marriage?
    Some say you may never really “get over” infidelity, but, you can get through it. There is no one size fits all solution when it comes to the feelings associated with infidelity; and the insecurity and depression it causes can last years in some instances. Whether you are the unfaithful spouse or the grieving spouse, some marital therapy will be in order. The unfaithful person has things they need to work through, just as the spouse who was betrayed by the event. As a couple you’ll need to work hard to rebuild trust. Once that trust isn rebuilt, refocusing on goals for the future and moving on are next steps. A word to the wise, though – if they cheated on you once, will they do it again? If your spouse isn’t demonstrating an ability to stay committed to you, or doesn’t seem to be “all in” when it comes to therapy, communication, or commitment – this relationship is not for you.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 29, 2015
    How to recover from infedility in a relationship?
    Assuming that the victim of infidelity has begun to engage in the “best practices” of self-care, true recovery from infidelity can begin. If the partnership has ended, grieving is an appropriate next step. If the partnership has survived infidelity, it is important for the partners to engage in consistent and thorough counseling to explore the issues that led to infidelity, and the approaches that can be taken to mitigate the possibility of further infidelity. In all cases, the victim should be afforded ample opportunity to name and explore his or her feelings about the infidelity.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 29, 2015
    What are the most frequently asked questions about divorce?
    91 Views
    The most frequently asked questions about divorce include the following: 1. Is divorce the right thing for me and my partner? 2. Do I have grounds for divorce as defined by the government? 3. How much will my divorce cost? 4. Should I consider additional counseling prior to divorce? 5. How long will a divorce last? 6. Do I have support to see me through a divorce process?
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 29, 2015
    How to get a divorce when you are not happy in marriage?
    118 Views
    The first thing you need to do after deciding to divorce is schedule a consultation with afamily law attorney. The attorney will explain how the laws in your area apply to the particulars of your situation. Bring as much information as you can about assets, debts and income to his meeting.. Assets include real estate, bank and investment accounts, retirement plans, cars, and valuable personal property such as jewelry. Debts include mortgages, balances owed on credit cards, car and student loans. Also, bring your most recent tax returns and current pay stubs or other documentation of income. Tell your attorney about children and your feelings about custody of the children. Your attorney will help you file the appropriate information for your situation.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 29, 2015
    How to get divorced without a lawyer?
    72 Views
    If both parties agree that a divorce is in the best interest of the parties and they can reach some firm decisions on parenting, finances, real property and the like, a collaborative divorce is possible. Benefits to this method of divorce include time and cost. The process can lead to a resolution in less time than a typical divorce because it does not require court dates and the many meetings that can be necessary to negotiate a traditional divorce. Typically, family courts allow you to file for this type of divorce if the parties have the skills to file the required paperwork.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 29, 2015
    How to build intimacy with my spouse?
    283 Views
    According to multiple experts, there are five rules to observe in building intimacy. They include: 1: Following the five-minute rule, that is, talking about areas of interest outside of dialogues about children, finances, and the like. 2: Remember gender differences relate to how we view intimacy. 3: Always compliment your partner about giftedness, attractiveness, and the like. 4: Explore new activities with your partner to spark time together and the prospect of intimacy. 5: Laugh often. Put smiles on each other’s faces through the sharing of light-hearted joy.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 28, 2015
    What qualifications are required to be a marriage counselor?
    100 Views
    Becoming a qualified Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) is a long road and requires a lot of education. It begins with a Bachelor’s degree in a field related to counseling, such as social work or psychology. Then a Master’s degree in marriage counseling must be earned before the candidate can gain clinical experience as a marriage counselor. This is done under the supervision of a licensed MFT, and gives the candidate practical experience working with couples. Once all educational components are fulfilled, the candidate must pass a written exam before they can be licensed by the state to practice as a marriage and family therapist.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 28, 2015
    What is the secret to keep marriage alive for lifetime?
    110 Views
    Having realistic expectations of each other and of the marriage itself will set you up for long-term success. Knowing that your spouse cannot provide all of your social needs and that each partner should nurture their own interests and friends can help. Establishing early on what beliefs and customs you will follow together when it comes to subjects like child rearing and finances can also pave the way. What’s also critical, though, is the ability to support each other and act as a team. As partners, you should be able to trust one another completely and be honest with each other.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 28, 2015
    Is it possible to save your marriage alone?
    144 Views
    Marriage is a partnership between two people. In order for that partnership to succeed, it will require effort on the part of both people. The only thing you can do on your own to save a marriage in crisis is talk to your spouse about the options for preserving the relationship. You might suggest going to see a couples counselor or marriage and family therapist. You could also prompt your spouse to talk about marital problems with you, even if therapy is rejected. Once you have a better idea what the root problems are, you can work together to save the relationship.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 28, 2015
    What are the ways to save marriage after cheating?
    Marriages can almost always be saved after infidelity, provided that’s what both parties want. It’s often helpful for both parties to better understand what prompted the cheating. Usually it’s a desire to feel more of the romantic emotions that people associate with love, which are often hard to keep alive in a marriage due to day-to-day concerns. You can reignite your passions in marriage, but only when the bond of trust has healed sufficiently since the infidelity took place. Focus first on re-establishing trust by talking openly and honestly about what you need from the marriage. Avoid blaming and remember that you’re a team and must work together to have a successful relationship.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 28, 2015
    What is the process of adoption?
    86 Views
    The process of adoption will vary depending upon the path you take. In private adoptions, couples often advertise in newspapers and magazines hoping to find a potential match. Then they will typically have numerous conversations with the mother to arrange for her care and financial support. An agreement will be drawn up by an attorney that is signed by all parties. It grants the adoptive couple permanent sole custody of the child when it’s born, and it may also define some financial agreement with the mother, usually to provide for her healthcare expenses and sometimes her housing during the pregnancy.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How to deal with life after infedelity?
    Infidelity happens for different reasons; only you will know if you want to continue in the relationship if you’re the victim of a partner’s infidelity. Many people believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”, but just as many argue this. Most who have engaged in extramarital affairs in otherwise happy marriages, have felt ashamed and remorseful for their behavior. Many even told their partner about the affair, and worked to repair the relationship. After something like this happens, the most important goal is re-establishing trust, where therapy is very necessary. Also, trust your instincts. If you find that you still can’t trust your partner, have high anxiety after a long period of time, or you just don’t think you can go on in the same way, ending the marriage may be the right thing.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    What premarital counseling questions should I ask?
    75 Views
    It is advised to write these questions and answers out, almost as if writing in a journal. Important questions to ask prior to getting married might be: What does marriage mean to me? Why do I want to get married? Of all of the people on this earth, why do I choose this person? What are my long term goals for the future? What are my short term goals? Does my partner share my goals? What are her goals? Can we accommodate and support one another? What attracted me to my partner initially? What do I believe we will accomplish together? What makes us a good team? How much alone time do I feel is warranted and appropriate when married? How much alone time does my partner need or want? How much time will we spend together? Do we share similar views on children and parenting? Is there anything I wouldn’t be willing to give up for marriage to this person? Are there any potential deal breakers?
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    I have a verbally abusive husband. What do I do?
    Many women may get hitched only to discover down the road that something isn’t right about the way their husband acts towards them. People with patterns of abusive behavior will generally keep things at bay for a long time before their true colors start to emerge. Sadly, the victim of this behavior is then left with feelings of emptiness, sadness, or anxiety and it feels as if nothing they do is good enough. If you can talk your husband into going with you to counseling, he may be able to learn some communication tools and anger management strategies. Bring up the topic of counseling as if you want it for you – not for him, as that can annoy him. These personality types are difficult to get into treatment, difficult to treat, and almost impossible for you to deal with on your own. Know that a person who exhibits verbally abusive behavior (such as threats, coercion, insults, and put downs) is very likely to also become physically abusive as well. You will need to stand your ground and let him know you will not stand for the behavior. If he is unwilling to change, you may have to make some new choices about what’s important in your life.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Sep 18, 2015
    How can I improve my relationship with my emotionally abusive wife?
    98 Views
    The classic definition of “Emotional Abuse” points to behavior that makes another person feel stress, anxiety, sadness, and the like. If your wife is emotionally abusive, the only thing you can really do is suggest couples’ counseling and at least work on yourself. Many abusers refuse couples counseling because they do not want to change, and they are afraid the counselor will call them out on their bad behavior. it is unlikely you alone will be able to save the relationship; unless you can talk her into coming to marital counseling sessions to deal with her behavior. If she is able to acknowledge the problem, and can take the steps the therapist recommends to change her behavior, then it may be worth a try. Never try to talk to them about their behavior when they are already escalated, other than asking them to stop.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    How to resolve conflicts and everyday relationship issues?
    Resolving conflicts and common relationship issues is not always an easy know-how type of thing, but the basics are fairly simple. Find the biggest problem and start there. Are you communicating well? Is one giving more into the relationship than the other? Do you have regular set times to talk and work things out? Take the time to talk things through and really listen to one another. Put the other person first and your own needs and desires. Try to meet his or her needs before your own. This will help you to go down a path toward resolution.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    How couple counseling helps them in their marriage?
    76 Views
    Couples counseling probably helps them by giving them a place to lay out everything before them with an outside person to call them out on their issues and help them to see what they need to work on and where to start. The counselor also provides ideas to help them get their own conversations going that may be new and/or challenging to really work through. She or he may also get them to try new adventures with each other in order to help rekindle their love for each other and really have fun and enjoy each other’s company again.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    Is it a good idea to believe in marriage astrology?
    80 Views
    Some people may say it’s a good idea to believe in marriage astrology but it can put you into a box and then cause you to get stuck. It can cause you to get stuck in a way that you should be or in idealistic ideas of who you are by nature. This can all cause you to not let down and be your true self because you feel like you need to be living up to these expectations of what you should be according to astrology both independently and in your marriage. This can ultimately end up being harmful unless you believe in it and take it with a grain of salt.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Oct 06, 2015
    What is the basic requirement to get a marriage license?
    136 Views
    Getting a marriage license in the United States - Basic Requirements: The bride and groom need to bring in identification, complete necessary paperwork, pay a specifc fee (different in different states) and sometimes carry blood test results to the county clerk. The marriage license is either mailed or collected by the bride and groom. Depending on the state, there is usually a waiting period before the licence is given. The couple are then married by someone legally allowed to do so. That person along with at least 2 witnesses (and sometimes the bride and groom) sign the marriage license. It is then returned to the county clerk's office. Afte the waiting period, the couple can purchase the copies of the certified marriage certificate from the clerk's office. Since the laws vary greatly from state to state, the process may seem complicated but is not so.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    I'm scared to go for couples counseling. But my partner insists. How should I overcome this fear?
    374 Views
    If you really love your partner dig deep into your love for him or her to overcome, ask for help in prayer, or push down your feelings and get over it. I wouldn’t recommend the latter necessarily, but sometimes you just gotta suck it up and do what’s best for your relationship. Figure out what you’re scared about and be open about it with your partner and/or someone else too to be able to talk through it and then be open about your fears when you finally do start the counseling too. This will open incredible doors for you in your relationship.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    Can a relationship therapist improve communication and relationships?
    78 Views
    For sure, this is exactly what a relationship therapist helps with through interpersonal therapy. The start of helping in a relationship is through basic communication and relationship skills and making sure those starting points are covered and taken care of. Communication is key in relationships and some of the simplest skills are often not used in partnerships because people either don’t know of them or they do not want to spend the time to try to be able to communicate more effectively. Therapists can help couples to help see these things clearly and learn to use skills they already know or new ones.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    How can I get rid of marriage problems?
    280 Views
    Marriage problems will never be completely gone. If you think you can get rid of them you have something to learn about life because a relationship is hard work and there will always be some kind of problem to work through. This is especially true since marriage is usually the most intimate and complex relationship you can be in if you give it your all and make the most of it. You can start to solve a lot of problems through having a very effective communication plan and through putting your spouse before yourself in complete love and honor.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    How can I help a friend who is going through marriage problems?
    112 Views
    The best way you can help a friend is by giving your complete attentive ear. Help him or her to dig deeper inside and figure out what is causing the pain in their marriage. Ask a lot of questions and get him or her to keep talking. If you have a partner yourself perhaps you and him or her can help them to have a conversation together and share what’s in their hearts with each other. The best thing you can do is just be a support, provide the help you can, and maybe suggest a therapist if it seems like it is something they are unable to solve on their own.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    How can marital counselors help my marriage from falling apart?
    77 Views
    They can help first off by helping you get in touch with why your marriage is falling apart if you don’t already know. They can help by providing a listening ear and outside eyes looking in to see things you might not be able to see. They can also help you to find new ways to connect in your relationship and relate to one another that will help you to take new risks and grow with each other. There are many different techniques they can use to help you communicate more effectively as well and hopefully guide you down a path towards resolving some of the challenges you are facing.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    Does marriage encounter helps in strengthening the relationship?
    They can really help a couple in their marriage as they are a special time for the couple to connect and get away from all the distractions and challenges of their everyday lives. Some ofthe ways they help is by helping the couple to build in their relationship with God and each other. Through this the partnership can go stronger. Couples learn from other marriages, about their own behaviors and attitudes, from a priest, and about constructive ways to deepen in intimacy in their relationship. Strength can grow through learning new ways to communicate and build with each other and through taking risks.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    How to stop marital problems during pregnancy?
    251 Views
    There is no way to completely stop problems at any point in a marriage. You can however possibly ask your husband to help you out by trying to keep things low key during the pregnancy. Sit down with some friends and get some advice about how to have plans and communicate effectively with the least amount of stress possible during this time of being pregnant. If you plan things out well and especially for communicating when problems do arise things should be a lot easier but problems will never be gone. Just find ways to handle them when they come up.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    Please share some healthy marriage tips and articles.
    81 Views
    Find a time to connect daily if not in person, over the phone even if it is calling each other from work to be able to check in. If you are a person of faith, pray together with your partner daily. To keep your marriage healthy remember to schedule times to be alone together and also to have fun. Remember to express yourself with humility and openly, and also giving your spouse a chance to be truly honest and open by providing an attentive and listening ear. A great article on this is :http://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/15-key-secrets-to-a-successful-marriage/
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    Are marriage counseling books of some help?
    86 Views
    There are definitely some marriage counseling books that can help. Some have some great ideas, advice, and techniques that can help you work through things and grow deeper in your relationship. “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary D. Chapman, “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” by Gary D. Chapman, and “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples” by Harville Hendricks, PhD are the three listed at the top of the recommendations list. These books can be ones to help you gain more insight and help in your relationship with your spouse.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    What should I do after realizing that my marriage is not worth it?
    84 Views
    Sometimes marriages just do not work out due to issues beyond our control. Incompatibility, irreconcilable differences, or the way people can change and grow apart, are all issues common to relationships that eventually fail. Infidelity is one common issue that many spouses simply will not tolerate. This is a personal choice, after all. If you feel that your marriage is broken beyond repair, or has more issues than you can reasonably handle, and you feel you have given it your absolute best, you will have to sit down with your spouse and tell him your feelings. Let him know that you are always on his side and that you will always care deeply for him. IF there are children, let him know that you do not intend to make any problems for him when it comes to custody and seeing the kids. Place the feeling within yourself, and avoid blaming. Tell him you will be filing for divorce, and what steps you are going to take in furtherance of that decision. Ask him how he feels. Try not to linger around or allow him time to try and persuade you; that could be a trap. Just be sure that you genuinely take space and time for yourself for healing, the worst thing you can do is to jump into the dating scene right away. Make arrangements with your partner about who will move, who will stay, etc. As for the children, the more amicable you can be during this process, the better. You will want to work out the way you split the kids’ time between each other, rather than involving the courts- unless of course there is good reason.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    What questions can be asked about marriage preparation?
    282 Views
    What daily devotionals do you do? Do you pray at mealtimes and at bedtime? When will we set time aside to study the bible and give prayer? Do you have a favorite prayer or a ritual prayer? How important is music to you in life and worship? What would our family devotions look like? Who will lead us in prayer? How far apart in age will our children be? How many children do we want to have? What is your belief system around birth control? What does marriage mean to us, why are we getting married? How often will we have sex? Who initiates it? Is sex strictly for making children? Will our children go to christian school or public school? Will we get help from friends or the church in times of conflict? What are your views on medication, immunzations, and caring for sick family members? Do you believe in divine healing?
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What are the signs of emotional abuse in a marriage?
    If you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around your partner, if he becomes moody or has a quick temper, or if he puts you down, these are red flags that you should worry about. If you are being emotionally abused, you might feel depressed and not know why. You may feel like his behavior has changed, as he is suddenly very moody or possessive. Some of the more subtle behaviors that occur early on in the relationship may seem harmless, but they are also signals. Be wary of a partner that moves too quickly in the relationship (for example, he wants to move in together after just two months), if he tells you what to do, does not support you in your career or personal goals, if he dismisses your ideas in lieu of his own, is disrespectful, gets upset over minor details, doesn’t put you first, seems suspicious or always wants to know your location, if he calls you often when you’re not together (like three times in an hour just to check on you), or has a quick temper.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    How to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship?
    110 Views
    Relationships that are emotionally abusive may escalate, becoming physically abusive as well. The hardest part is making the decision to leave. Most abusers have control of their victims and make it very difficult for them by wearing them down financially, physically, or emotionally. If you are ready to leave, the best advice is to do it now before things become worse. If you’re not sure, try initiating some space between you and your partner. Be careful, though, people with abusive and controlling behavior can be unpredictable. They may be calm and collected one moment, and explosive the next. Only you will know how dangerous your situation is. Call for back up if you need it, good friends and family members will want to help you; and all too often, the abusive partner has isolated their spouse from his or her closest family and friends. Gain their support if you can. The best thing you can do for yourself is to indulge in self-love activities and therapy, to regain your self-esteem, and create some distance between you. Have a bag packed in case you need to leave suddenly and stealthfully.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    Should a woman tolerate psychological abuse in a marriage?
    No one should tolerate psychological abuse in any relationship. Psychological abuse is executed through verbal abuse, manipulation, and control of another person through deceptive practices, inciting fear, instilling fear, threats, and making jokes or put-downs. The victim may feel they are not worthy of keeping a job, maintaining a family, or pleasing their partner. They may feel they “don’t do anything right,” the abuse is their fault, and they may feel too weak to leave. This type of control can often lead to other kinds of abuse. Many victims of the abuse feel that if only they loved more, were a better wife or mother, or worked just a little harder, that the abuse will stop. They may also think that the abuse is their fault, and may make excuses for their partner’s behavior. These are classic symptoms of an abused partner; and these patterns of thinking are inaccurate. If your partner is abusive, there is nothing you will be able to do to please him; he will always find fault as a method to control you.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    How can I leave an abusive marriage?
    Abuse takes on many forms, and in general, abusive marriages are dangerous partnerships. Overall, it is more important to secure your safety than it is to worry about the logistics of divorce. Start with initiating separation. Though it depends on the risk and severity of the situation you are in, many women create a backup plan if they are afraid their partner will not let them leave, will hurt them, or retaliate if they do. Since control is a feature of abuse, talking about your plans to leave may only anger the abusive partner. If you have already thought of leaving, chances are it’s the right thing to do. Plan to stay with a family member or friend, or someplace private where the abusive person is unlikely to find you if you think they will try. If you are afraid for your safety, call a local Women space or crisis line for help. They can help women in abusive situations confidence and get back on their feet.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    How to stop verbal abuse in my marriage?
    Verbal Abuse occurs in various forms, including threats, insults, or using language that demeans or puts down another person otherwise. Verbal abuse can be subtle or obvious, and it can be mutual, by two partners who verbally abuse each other, or it can be one-sided, in which one is trying to gain control over the other. Verbal abuse is the most common type of abuse; those who are victims of verbal abuse by their partners prior to getting married should seek help. Verbal abuse is a red flag of a more serious underlying problem, and it can yield long-term psychological damage. Couples experiencing abusive patterns of behavior should seek counseling right away. If you notice your partner puts you down or otherwise makes you feel badly about yourself, it is a signal of a problem that will likely get worse.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    How to stop financial abuse in my marriage?
    169 Views
    Financial abuse occurs when there is a major disparity in finances; most typically, if one spouse seems to have control over most or all of the resources that are to be shared. It can occur if one party is dishonest about family finances, prevents a spouse from accessing resources, or one spouse is misappropriating funds through excessive spending, gambling, or hiding money to prevent the other from accessing it. Financial abuse is the sign of a larger problem and it can be serious. If financial abuse is occurring, family therapy may be in order to re-establish healthy habits. If you are the victim of financial abuse and your partner is not coming to terms with a reasonable solution, this is a problem that can lead to other kinds of abuse later on, and you should consider getting help or getting out.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    How do I get birth control?
    104 Views
    Birth control is simple to acquire. Condoms can be purchased at any drug, grocery, or big box (Walmart, Sam’s Club, etc.) store and are fairly inexpensive. The Pill or any other chemical birth control requires seeing your OB/GYN so an appointment is mandatory. The Pill or a Nuva Ring type product is a prescription that you fill at a pharmacy. These methods rely on you alone to administer them and you need to be diligent in making sure they are consistently being taken. Depending on insurance under the skin implant, or IUD needs to be performed by a doctor. These methods are a little more long term with the shot lasting up to 3 months and the device implants can last up to 2-5 years. Check with your doctor to figure out which method fits your lifestyle best.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    How much does an abortion cost?
    The cost of an abortion depends on how far along the pregnancy is, whether or not your insurance covers the procedure, and where the procedure is being done. An expected out of pocket expense at 10 weeks or before is roughly $320-$500. At 16 weeks this jumps to $500-$700. Beyond 20 weeks the procedure cost rises to $1000-$2000+. If the procedure is covered by insurance a copay is likely and may range from $15-$150 depending on your policy. Contact your insurance company to for your individual rate. Keep in mind finding a provider willing to operate after the first trimester is difficult and may be illegal in your state. Check your local laws for information regarding late term abortions.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What things should couples keep in mind before seeking premarital counseling?
    Many couples seek pre marital counseling because it is mandatory in their state or by their church, or they are pressured to do so. Those that enroll in counseling should still take the sessions very seriously and get as much out of the sessions as they possibly can. Others may have a sense of invincibility and feel in control. This phenomenon comes from the euphoria of being in love. Couples should bear in mind that premarital counseling does not guarantee their compatibility. It does not replace the work involved in a marriage, and it does not prevent future problems. Premarital counseling can help couples make discoveries about problem areas that could result in future disagreements, and it can teach them some communication tools for dealing with adversity. It can help them prepare for the future by setting goals and making certain commitments or negotiations going forward. Couples should be as realistic and thoughtful as possible during the counseling process.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What questions should I ask before marriage?
    324 Views
    You should get to know your partner as well as you can before walking down the aisle, so that there are no surprises down the road. It’s a good idea to write the questions you’d like to ask prior to marriage or pre-marital counseling. Make your questions as specific as possible. Asking broad, generalized questions will not help you to get to know your partner as quickly as specific, personalized questions will. For example, if he is catholic, ask what teachings were most important to him as a child, and which are most important now. Did he attend bible study as a child, and how did he feel about it? You may gain more insight this way as your partner opens up, and from this, you may ask follow-up questions, such as how he feels about placing his own children in bible study. Let’s say you are not catholic, but your fiancé is. These may not seem like important questions now, but these topics may be of serious impact in your future.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What are the most frequently asked marriage questions for couples?
    100 Views
    Questions will depend on the counselor you choose, as each one will have his or her own approach to therapy. The questions they ask usually center around future goals and current beliefs and attitudes. Major topics for discussion may include goals around career planning, personal and religious belief systems, family planning, finance, gender roles, and many others. They will also ask questions aimed at determining how you will deal with conflict in a variety situations. The counselor may ask very specific questions that relate to these topics. Some even provide compatibility tests, personality tests, or other written questionnaires. These tools are an excellent starting point and can be very useful to the premarital counseling process.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What are some common pre-marriage counseling questions?
    115 Views
    Christian couples getting married with premarital counseling might be asked many of the same questions as any other couple, but questions may focus more on their religious belief system, relevant to the following: • Beliefs around birth control • Attitudes toward sex/ sexual activities • Beliefs around divorce • Children, parenting styles, is religious schooling a priority for children? • Marital roles; will both spouses work? Is one spouse expected to take on a domestic role? • Health care and medication; children and vaccinations, for example.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What important questions should be asked before marriage?
    Perhaps the most common subject for engaged couples, involves the discussion of family; and whether or not to have children. Because personal opinions on this topic vary, it is important to address this ahead of time. Additionally, questions around parenting styles should be asked as well. Couples should know each other well enough to determine whether they are cut out to be good parents, how they will establish themselves in preparation for children, the ideal timelines to abide by, and they should discuss their opinions on parental roles, disciplinary styles, school enrollment, and other such topics.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What are the most important pre marital counseling questions?
    The purpose of premarital questions in counseling is to help couples to plan for their future together while addressing any weak areas or potential disagreements that could arise in the future. Further, premarital counseling provides a couple with tools to make their marriage successful. Though there are many questions that are important, questions on the topic of family planning are probably the most impactful, if at least one partner wants children. During the course of counseling, some couples may feel overwhelmed and may even choose to postpone their wedding until they are sure they are prepared. Some couples may find they are not as compatible as they thought; if they had not discussed many topics. The most important questions can identify whether couples share the same interests and future goals,whether they can work together harmoniously (especially in adversity), and to provide communication tools that they can utilize going forward.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 17, 2015
    What marriage counseling questions can be asked before marriage?
    252 Views
    There are many thought-provoking questions that may be asked by your counselor to help you prepare for your future together. The questions range between a variety of topics, including sex, finances, interests, attitudes, family goals, career, and more. Some examples of the questions that may be asked are: What are your life’s goals? Do you plan to have children? When, and how many? What is your image of God? Are you religious? Do you feel you are emotionally healthy? What issues have you faced in past relationships? How long have you known your partner? What do you believe are the roles husbands and wives should play? What are your spending habits? How do we plan to support ourselves? Do we have debt? How will we handle conflict?
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 13, 2015
    Unsupportive Spouse: Losing Family, Job and Identity.
    100 Views
    Hi RAB-China, I can really feel your pain in this post. I really do. If you feel that you have problems in your marriage, it is important to establish in your own mind whether or not these problems are the normal inevitable struggles which occur in every marriaghie, or whether they are over and above the normal struggles. One way of gauging this is by asking yourself if there has been any progress over time. Do you still fight about the same things all the time without reaching any solution? Or have you solved some issues, moved on and are now dealing with different issues? Another important question is whether there is a willingness in both husband and wife to deal with issues, or is there a one-sided attempt to address the problems in your marriage. From what you have written is that you feel left out and unimportant. This is really damaging as it is leading to a lot of buildup resentment; you already feel left out and being the one who is working too hard (even financially) in the marriage. Even your partner is at fault for treating you so, but she may have her own stresses, responsibilities and reasons. Marriage needs to be worked on together, and right from the beginning. Were you always there for her when she needed you? What do you think is your role in causing all this to happen? Before you call it quits, or whatever it is you decide, you need to honestly think of how you both got here at this stage in your marriage. Remember, it takes two to tango. Since you have admitted that you love your wife, there is still hope that things can turn around completely. Go sit with her, take her hand and express your heart out; ask her what is troubling her. If need be, even go to a counselor who can spot the problems in your marriage and help you fix it. I really hope this helps. Please ask more questions, if you must, or share if you have any other concerns.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    Why do I have marriage problems? Is it okay to have them?
    69 Views
    If you feel that you have problems in your marriage, it is important to establish in your own mind whether or not these problems are the normal inevitable struggles which occur in every marriage, or whether they are over and above the normal struggles. One way of gauging this is by asking yourself if there has been any progress over time. Do you still fight about the same things all the time without reaching any solution? Or have you solved some issues, moved on and are now dealing with different issues? Another important question is whether there is a willingness in both husband and wife to deal with issues, or is there a one-sided attempt to address the problems in your marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    How much does marriage counseling cost?
    99 Views
    Marriage counselling can be costly as the charges are usually calculated per one hour session, and in most cases multiple sessions are required over a period of time. However, when weighed against the cost of your marriage, your wellbeing and your ability to function at your best, getting help is probably the most valuable thing you could do when you are struggling in your marriage. If you are really not able to afford the costs, there are often other options available. Some counsellors or pastors would offer their services freely or at a reduced rate. Don’t let the costs prevent you from getting help. There is help available, and when you start looking and asking around you will find what you need.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    What is the value of Christian marriage counseling?
    92 Views
    Christian marriage counselling is valuable in that all three areas of a human being are taken into consideration, namely the body, the soul and the spirit. This means you will have a more holistic approach where deeper issues can be dealt with and there will be the possibility of more lasting results. Christian counsellors would come from the perspective that God is the one who instituted marriage in the first place, so He is the best one who would know how to help when there are problems; just as you would take a valuable item back to the manufacturer or designer if it were not functioning at its best.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    Tell me some innovative ideas to say 'Will you marry me'?
    Seeing as you are thinking of asking this important question, you now probably know your lovely girlfriend pretty well by now. You know what she likes, and the places she loves to be, and you have already made a lot of memories together. So, you could choose one of her favourite places, like the beach, or the mountains, or the park, and just when she is not expecting anything you drop down on your knee and bring out the little box with the ring! Or if she likes reading, you could buy her a book by her favourite author and conceal the ring inside the book and wait for her to find it while you watch quietly. Maybe she loves playing Trivia games, so you could invite family and friends for a games night and then at the strategic moment you present the card to your girlfriend with the important question on it!
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    How does family counseling work for problems arising in marriage?
    86 Views
    Family counselling can be a great way to address problems arising in marriage. Usually the counsellor would see the individuals separately first, so as to get an idea of each person’s views. Once all parties have shared, they will have a session together, where issues can be carefully and constructively put on the table with the counsellor there to guide the conversation. Sometimes it is easier to share deep feelings in the safe environment of the counsellor’s office where you know that you will be heard. The counsellor also serves as an objective “witness”, someone outside of the family who can often see things with more clarity and is able to point out areas that need to be dealt with.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    How to get help with marriage problems and solve them?
    130 Views
    Coming to the point of being able to ask for help is often a huge hurdle. Many couples will struggle and suffer alone for years simply because they are too embarrassed or proud to ask for help. Some think that by asking for help they are admitting that there are problems and that in itself will make things worse. There are those who are in denial and refuse to acknowledge that they are in trouble and need help. Asking for help is the first step, and then persevering until you can find the help you need. A lot of patience and perseverance is needed. You must realise that problems which have taken a long time to develop, will probably not be solved in one day or one session.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    How should I get through marriage problems?
    84 Views
    Marriage problems need to be identified clearly before they can be solved. Sometimes it is not easy to identify the issues exactly, especially when you are so deeply involved in the situation. This is where some objective views are invaluable, if you have trusted friends or your pastor who can see into your situation and help you to realise the issues at hand. There are also many helpful marriage books in which you can read about others who have struggled in similar ways as you do, and how they have been helped. Prayer is an important way to get through marriage problems, as you ask God to help you and show you where you can change.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    How should I help friends in their marriage problems?
    81 Views
    The best way to help friends through their marriage problems is simply by being a friend to them; being there to listen when they want to talk or cry. If I share my own life and struggles with them and live in a transparent way, they will know that they can trust me and that I will understand and care when they are struggling. If I can see that my friend is being abused, I will gently let her know that she can choose to leave, and I will do all I can help her in a practical way. Sometimes people who are being abused do not know it, and they need someone else to give them “permission” to stop taking the abuse.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    What can be done with everyday marriage problems? How can they be tackled?
    83 Views
    The best way to tackle problems in marriage is to talk about them and to share openly with your spouse about how you feel. If your loved one has offended you, there are three helpful points to follow when you speak about it in a calm manner. Firstly, describe exactly what happened. Secondly, say how this affected you. Thirdly, suggest how this could be avoided in future. An example of this strategy would be if your spouse invited guests for dinner without consulting you first, you could say something like this: “My Darling, this morning when you told me that you had invited our friends for dinner tomorrow evening, I felt shocked and upset because you had not discussed it with me beforehand and I had been planning to have a quiet evening alone with you. Next time, please can you consult me before you make arrangements that will affect me?”
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 12, 2015
    How do you know if you have any marriage problems?
    106 Views
    You will know! If you feel unhappy or trapped in your marriage, then there is a problem. If you find yourself wishing you were not married, or wishing you were married to someone else, then your marriage is in trouble. If you feel relieved when your spouse has to go out of town on business for a few days, and you dread the day he will return, then you know that you have marriage problems. If you can’t share your feelings openly with your spouse because you know that they will react by ignoring you, mocking you or getting angry and irritated with you, then you know that there is a problem in your marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    How do you fix your marriage problems?
    105 Views
    Because marriage is by definition a union of two people, it is not possible for one person alone to fix their marriage problems. Both parties must be actively involved and willing to listen, learn and make changes. Both people need to be able to recognise when their behaviour is hurtful and destructive, and be willing to work at making the necessary changes. Each one should be 100% committed to making the marriage work and to regard their spouse as worthy of respect. Once respect and trust has been lost it is very difficult to regain. Sometimes a third party is needed to help the marriage partners get some objectivity on their situation. This is where marriage counselling can be beneficial.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What problems in a marriage are considered to be 'normal'?
    87 Views
    It is normal in a marriage that there will be some “personality clashes”. Consider the fact that the spouses are two completely different and unique people who have experienced different backgrounds and upbringing. Now they are living together and seeking to forge one unified marriage. It is a huge adjustment and it will take time to smooth off the rough edges through the day to day challenges of keeping house, earning a living and relating to each other constantly. Personal circumstances can add to the stress, for example if there is sickness or a health issue, pressure from other family members or a demanding work environment.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    Are there any unavoidable problems in a marriage?
    101 Views
    Every marriage is sure to encounter some problems along the way, just as every person on earth will have some problems during the course of their lifetime. It is important not to have unrealistic and idealistic expectations of marriage. If you think that any problem denotes a “failure”, this attitude will make it more difficult for you to overcome the problems that will inevitably surface. It is best if you can regard problems as an opportunity to get to know your spouse better. As you work through the problem together you will both become stronger, grow closer together as a couple, and your marriage will benefit from the unavoidable problems, rather than being damaged by them.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What are the signs of a problem in a marriage?
    77 Views
    Many of the signs of a problem in a marriage are non-verbal and can be detected by observing body language. A couple which has very little eye-contact, and displays no outward signs of affection may be in trouble. When there is a general apathy and lack of excitement about each other this can be a sign of a problem between them. Couples who no longer enjoy each other’s company, and prefer to pursue separate interests and hobbies, are probably drifting apart. When a spouse makes sarcastic or derogatory remarks about his or her spouse in company, whether or not the spouse is present, this is usually a sign that there is a problem in their marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What causes a marriage problem?
    89 Views
    There are many causes of marriage problems, but two of the main ones are a breakdown of communication and a lack of conflict resolution skills. Conflict is inevitable, but how you handle it is what determines whether it becomes a full-blown problem, or whether it becomes a valuable lesson which makes you stronger in the future. When there is conflict, sometimes the temptation is to withdraw into injured silence and wait for the storm to pass. But this will only make things worse next time. This is the time when communication is essential, as each one shares their viewpoint openly and is heard by the other.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What are problems of early marriage? How should they be solved?
    122 Views
    People often say that the first year of marriage is the worst, and this may indeed seem to be a very difficult period for the newly married couple. However, if a good foundation is set at the earliest stage, then a solid future can be expected for the marriage. By developing the art of communication, most problems can be dealt with before they get out of hand. The couple needs to find an effective way of working through any conflicts which may surface, and this is effective only when honest communication takes place. Both partners need to be willing to compromise and to meet the other one half-way.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What are some of the problems that one has to face in a marriage?
    86 Views
    Some of the problems that one has to face in a marriage are to do with the area of sexual fulfilment. Both husband and wife need to feel satisfied in this regard, and if not, then several problems may arise. A common problem is marital unfaithfulness in which a spouse has one or more intimate relationships outside of the marriage. This is devastating and can be fatal to the marriage bond. Another factor which may cause sexual problems would be if a spouse has been abused in the past and is unable to enjoy a healthy relationship due to trust and innocence which has been broken.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What are the most common marriage problems?
    133 Views
    Once the wedding day has come and gone, with all the excitement and build up, and the honeymoon is over, then the reality of married life begins to set in. This is when the couple begins to realize that marriage is a 24/7 thing, every minute of every day of every week… For many people the loss of independence can be the biggest challenge – the fact that you are no longer free to come and go as you please, and to make all the decisions by yourself. Now you have another person to take into consideration and to share all your decisions and plans with them.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What causes marriage problems between a couple?
    77 Views
    When two completely separate and unique individuals decide to come together in marriage, certain differences are inevitable. However, these differences can either be seen as stepping stones on the exciting journey of getting to know one another while travelling the road of life together, or they can be seen as obstacles and problems. Marriage problems between a couple can develop when each one wants the other to be the same as they are and to conform to their wants and desires. Basically this is selfishness and possessiveness. If one or both partners is too proud to be able to say “I’m sorry, I was wrong” then there will be serious problems in the marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 11, 2015
    What are the most common marriage problems?
    133 Views
    Some of the most common marriage problems would include money issues, extended family issues, and child-rearing issues. When it comes to the matter of spending money, there are bound to be differing values and priorities. She may feel that having a beautifully decorated home is essential while he feels that it would be better to save up for holiday trips. Another problem area may found in relating to the extended family or the “in-laws”. Sometimes there is conflict in which both families are competing for time and attention, for example on special holiday celebrations. And when children are born into a marriage, a whole new set of challenges will arise as both husband and wife have their own ideas on what they want for their children.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 06, 2015
    How can I fix my marriage problems?
    69 Views
    Sometimes, the best solution to solving recurring marriage problems is ending the marriage. If a partner is abusive or refuses to communicate, you may need to consider exciting the marriage in order to preserve your mental health and physical wellbeing. A marriage that hurts a partner is not a marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 06, 2015
    How do I solve my marriage problem?
    86 Views
    If you believe that marriage problems can be solved by one partner alone, prepare yourself for copious heartache and frustration. While there are strategies and tools that seem to be quite effective in addressing and mastering marital hardship, any solution that involves salvaging the marriage necessitates contributions from both parties. It takes two to tango.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 26, 2015
    What is the secret recipe for a happy marriage?
    While we all wish for a secret recipe for marriage, there is none. Instead, married couples should observe healthy marriages and observe what seems to work for these partnership success stories. If the partner’s parents have enjoyed loving and long-term marriages, it may be helpful to ask the successful couples, “What’s the secret of your marriage’s success?” As stated elsewhere, RESPECT is a component of all healthy, actualized partnerships. I suppose if there is a must-have in the marriage recipe, RESPECT is the key ingredient. Learn the secrets to a happy marriage and apply them to your life.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What are some questions for engaged couples?
    Engaged couples have so much to talk about! Questions engaged couples should explore together include: 1. What brought us together? 2. Why is marriage appropriate at this time? Or is it not? 3. What gifts and liabilities do we each bring to the marriage union? 4. Do we have key supporters who affirm our compatibility for marriage? 5. What role does faith play in our partnership? These questions can get the conversation underway. Couples should recognize that effective communication is far more important than communicating through a script of premarital questions. If this communicative exercise is a challenge for the partners, then maybe marriage plans should be revisited.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    Is my marriage in trouble? How do I know?
    136 Views
    If you are asking the question your marriage is probably already in rough shape. That said, partners in a floundering marriage often do not have the insight to recognize the relational trouble until the situation becomes quite caustic. A neutral party – ideally a therapist or clergyperson – can visit with the couple and help probe the relationship’s health. Further, if other couples and friends who are close to the couple begin asking questions about the relationship’s health, one may assume that there may be some trouble. Listen to friends and family when they voice concern, and be willing to take proactive steps to address the marital trouble.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What are some questions related to marriage and family that couples must ask?
    134 Views
    Partners that decide to have families have a plethora of questions to share and ponder. Where will the children go to school? What type of parenting style do the parents wish to adopt? Where will the children receive medical and dental care? While partners cannot be in agreement about every issue under the sun, they can agree to communicate and negotiate on the big issues that pertain to family life. In the modern era, it is not especially efficient to compartmentalize family roles vis a vis “bread winner” versus “homemaker.” In most partnered situations, these roles should be shared by both partners.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    Can you suggest me some tips on how to handle marriage problems?
    698 Views
    Tip One:Recognize that marital duress typically takes missteps from both partners. If you want to overcome the problems in the marital relationship, both parties will need to recognize their role in the distress. Blaming the partner for the current troubles only deepens the pain and severity of the brokenness. Tip Two: Seek solutions to problems that are built on compromise and allow for an equal sharing of the sacrifices needed to right the ship. Solutions that highly favor one partner over the other create alienation and emotional distance.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What is a good marriage? What can I do to make my marriage 'good'?
    95 Views
    Good marriages recognize that there is no perfect marriage. Trying to emulate another couple – Let’s be like them – only leads to disappointment and disillusionment. Good marriages understand that “give and take” are always the order of the day. Some days you will be at 100% while your spouse is functioning at 10%. Other days the roles are reversed. In as much, one should be truly committed to their partner if they are seriously considering marriage. Marriages that endure are not conflict free, but rather have learned how to navigate the difficult seas.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What are the secrets to a happy marriage?
    275 Views
    The secrets to a loving marriage can be summated in one word. RESPECT! Learning how to respect a partner’s joy, vision, view point, and growing edges serve a married couple well when trouble arises. Respect does not imply that you agree with your partner at all times and in all places. Respect means you have the ability to empathize with your partner, that is, to hear, appreciate, and rearticulate his or her position on a given issue or opportunity.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    Can you give me some advice for a happy marriage?
    619 Views
    The best advice I can give for a happy marriage is this: Enjoy the partnership but do not compromise your personal identity. Said another way, two form a marriage union, but the two are not extinguished. Continue to embrace your personal goals in marriage, recognizing that the vision of the individual can inform and strengthen the marital relationship. Any partner that desires a diminished “you” in the marriage, is not a partner you want to yoke yourself to “until death do you part.” Similarly, encourage your partner to express and nurture his or her expressions of individuality, too.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What makes a marriage successful?
    A successful marriage hopes all things, believes all things, and endures all things. What does this mean? Healthy marriages do not have to be perfect marriages, but they should be built upon a partnership that suffers the tough stuff while celebrating the joyous times. The strain of married life can be burdensome. When illness, transition, or grief strike, one or both partners may not have the emotional and/or physical endurance to press-on through the malaise. If partners express a willingness to bear one another’s heaviness, some hardship can be mitigated.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What makes a good marriage?
    180 Views
    Good marriages always have a bit of levity. Loving partners are able to bring laughter and encouragement into the bond. Sharing stories about work, children, childhood memories, and goofy situations are among the myriad ways to bring smiles to faces and warmth into souls. Make sure your partnership has some levity. Go to a funny movie. Play in the rain. Surprise your partner with an unexpected gift. Tell a joke even if it is a cheesy one. Often the unsung contributions to the marital partnership create the most goodwill. Ah, lest I forget, be spontaneous! Spontaneity is the cousin of levity.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What are the rules for a happy marriage?
    104 Views
    While there are no “must follow” rules in marriage, there are some general guidelines for insuring happiness. 1. When angry at your partner, articulate the issues that upset you instead of assassinating your partner’s character. 2. RESPECT your partner’s feelings at all time. While you do not have to agree with their viewpoint, itis vital to empathetically listen to what your partner has to say. 3. Commit your marriage to date night. As often as it is feasible, step away from the daily grind and enjoy a night on the town with your beloved. 4. Give your partner space to explore his/her vocation, spirituality, hobbies, etc.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 18, 2015
    What should I do to have a happy marriage?
    Seeking a fairytale quality in a marriage will leave partners feeling exhausted and ultimately unhappy. A marriage is based on reality and never on fairy tales. When you have a marriage that is based on reality, you know that pain, loss, and sadness are mixed with joy, success, and good health. Not all days are the same. Remember, that even the strongest marriages will have imperfections and go through their share of ups and downs. Honor the imperfections; they will always be there, learn from them and grow with them. With this attitude, you will always be happy and content in your marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How can I have a happy marriage?
    186 Views
    The biggest key to a happy marriage is being happy with oneself. If you suffer from depression, low self-esteem, grief, and the like, the angst will sully your view of marriage. Take steps to improve your self-esteem if a physician or counselor believe it is languishing. Practicing forgiveness is also a key to a happy marriage. Partners make mistakes. Often! Being able to acknowledge the mistakes, remedy them, and forgive the offender will help nurture the love that’s vital to the marriage. Also, sharing some common ground with a partner – a goal, a hobby, a core value – will continue to breathe levity and joy into the bond.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    My wife cheated on me. What should I do?
    If a partner has cheated on you, self-care is the first order of business. Connect with a clergyperson or therapist to explore the grief and anger that you are undoubtedly experiencing. If you feel compelled to confront a partner about the infidelity, please make sure you have enough evidence to prove the infidelity. A false allegation may create tremendous conflict in the marriage. If a partner admits to infidelity, insist on individual and couples therapy as a perquisite to healthfully continuing the marriage. If your partner is unwilling to address the infidelity, it may be appropriate to seek legal counsel and proceed with a marital separation.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    Can you give some advice for christian marriages?
    143 Views
    Christian marriages, like all marriages, are healthiest when partners communicate with one another and practice respect. That said, Christian marriages are further strengthened by using biblical texts as guiding texts for the partnered life. Christian marriages should be infused with prayer, shared bible study, worship attendance, and Christian service. When yoked to other Christian partners, Christian married folks enjoy a unique camaraderie with their brothers and sisters in Christ. Christian partners should also seek spiritual counseling and attend marriage encounters as they are able.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What does God say about marriage?
    168 Views
    The God described in the Judeo-Christian tradition sees marriage as a union between man and women marked by fidelity, charity, and love. Drawing from Genesis, John, 1 Corinthians, and other passages, the Judeo-Christian biblical texts speak of marriage as having a sacramental character, wherein the union is ordained and blessed by grace. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the exchange of marital vows is a community event. Interestingly, New Testament texts sometimes speak of the Christian Church as the “bride of Christ.” Marriage, as intended by God, is self-giving and enriched by procreation.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How can I rekindle a marriage?
    Sometimes marriages become drudgingly complacent. If you are serious about rekindling the spark in the marriage, recognize that this important work entails an “us” instead of a “me.” While your actions can fan the flames of a cool marriage, the effort and invigoration must be matched by your partner. Start with conversation. Articulate your concerns to your partner and encourage your partner to respond. If you both agree that your marriage could use a power boost, return to the things that built your relationship in the first place. Conversation, travel, lovemaking, and a common value system may be among these relationship starters/restarters.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What is marriage encounter? What marriage encounter questions are there to ask?
    271 Views
    Marriage Encounter refers to a retreat opportunity offered by a number of ecclesiastical traditions. Often conducted in a site away from the partners’ typical life context, Marriage Encounter uses prayer, bible study, worship, and guided conversation to explore the existing relationship and the couple’s readiness for marriage. Usually, a clergyperson credentialed and skilled in marriage counseling leads the Encounter. Couples are encouraged to be patient with the process and trust that the retreat process will strength the relational bond. Some denominations see Marriage Encounter a prerequisite to the church’s endorsement of the marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    What are some christian marriage questions to ask?
    267 Views
    If two Christians are pondering a marriage they may want to consider the following questions: 1. What are the core tenants of your denomination? 2. What was your childhood experience of religion and spirituality? 3. What is your understanding of forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life? 4. Are you willing to negotiate the congregation issue when we marry? 5. What do you feel we should teach our children about religion and spirituality? 6. Do you espouse traditional gender roles as described by many biblical texts? 7. What role will religion play in the marriage rite we choose for our nuptials?
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How can I get married by this year?
    While it is not advisable, most couples can marry within 36 hours of filing for a marriage license. Upon receipt of the license, partners can seek a notary, judge, or clergyperson to sign the marriage license as an authorized officiant. Is this fast track a healthy approach? Usually not. “True love at first sight” is a myth. Healthy marriages are built upon mutual understanding, respect, and a tested love. These facets of healthy marriage cannot be obtained in a relationship that is only a few days old. Take time to know your partner and ponder your future before obtaining a license and “tying the knot.”
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How to seek help in marriage?
    189 Views
    There is some good news if your marriage seems to be in trouble. Simply put, help abounds. If you are church/synagogue member, enlist the help of your clergyperson. Their expertise and insight are built upon hearty experience and a sound education. This type of counseling tends to be free. If marriage difficulties involve addiction, abuse, or mental illness, do not hesitate to seek the counsel of a therapist or psychologist. Most mental health services are covered under insurance plans. For those with no insurance and a low income, ask providers about a sliding scale for payment. In marriages marked by physical abuse, leave the marital home, keep children safe, and consult with law enforcement.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How can I stop an affair in my marriage?
    You cannot stop an affair in the marriage. It is up to your partner (or you if you are the guilty party) to recognize that the affair will cause enormous heartbreak for all those connected with your family. If your spouse is cheating, you do have ownership in how you respond to the infidelity. Counseling, healthy nutrition, and exercise are simple things that can help you work through the anxiety associated with marital infidelity. Surrounding yourself with a cadre of supportive friends, relatives, and professionals is an important measure as well. Encourage your partner to talk about the infidelity. If he or she is open to conversation, marital healing is possible.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How to deal with trust issues in my marriage?
    372 Views
    Trust issues can devastate the marital bond. If you are dealing with trust issues, the first question to ask is, “Was this an issue before I met my partner, or do his/her actions feed my trust issues? If you answer affirmatively to the first part of the question, seek therapy that focuses on family systems or cognitive-behavioral intervention. If you answer affirmatively to the second portion of the question, healing will necessitate you and your partner agreeing to submit to couple’s therapy to explore the issues that led to distrust.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How healthy is my marriage? How do I know this?
    941 Views
    While it is impossible to give a marriage an alpha-numeric grade for overall health, there are some approaches available for those seeking outside insight into their marital health. In addition to using the time-tested counseling approaching, couples can also find some helpful diagnostic inventories on the web. These marriage inventories, often designed and tested by experimental psychologists, tend to rank a couple’s marital health against a “control group” of previously tested marriages. When normed against marriages that have the same demographic markers as the current couple’s marriage, helpful insights are possible.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 05, 2015
    How can I make my marriage work better?
    107 Views
    Marriages with partners committed to honing communication acumen work better. Relatedly, couples that practice forgiveness tend to function in a self-giving way. When life, work, and family obligations become burdensome, do not forget to nourish the marital bond with communication, romance, and one-on-one time together. For those with the time and resources, marriage classes can be a wonderful addition to the marital routine. Classes that stoke communication skills and problem-solving approaches tend to be the most helpful. Parenting classes, when coupled with the daily application of acquired skills, can bring additional strength to the marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    How do I know if my boyfriend is ready for marriage?
    123 Views
    The best advice here is to “trust the gut” and ask others who care about you and your partner. If your gut seems to tell you that you tend to mother your partner, you may want to consider his maturity level. Similarly, if your friends indicate that your partner is lacking good judgement, you should pause and consider if moving forward with the relationship is warranted. However, a boyfriend who is responsible, respectful, communicative, and fully engaged in the relationship may be ready for the marital plunge. Are you? Make sure you have a good handle on your readiness as you parse your partner’s readiness.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    How can I know if my husband is unhappy in our marriage?
    95 Views
    The best way to gauge your husband’s happiness in the marriage is to ask him. If he,seems insincere in his response, nonchalant, or just unresponsive, you can,assume there is inherent unhappiness at work. Relatedly, significant behavioral,changes may point to unhappiness. Regardless, it is not your job to make your husband happy. Marital happiness presupposes the individual’s happiness and the couple’s willingness to partner in infusing the marriage with joy, understanding, respect, and levity. Further, it is always helpful to enlist the expertise of professionals before the angst becomes deeply ingrained in the contours of the marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    What can be the reasons that I am unhappy in my marriage?
    There are both internal and external reasons for discontent in marriage. Examples of internal forces that lead to discontent include depression, fatigue, grief, anger, and other emotional triggers. Unresolved issues from one’s family of origin could also lead to unhappiness. Physical illness can stoke discontent too. External forces that lead to marital malaise include a partner’s substance abuse, infidelity, disinterest in the relationship, and/or abuse. Both internal and external triggers of unhappiness can be mitigated with holistic self-care. Trusted friends, therapists, physicians, and clergypersons are trained to help individuals dealing with marital unhappiness.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    What are some questions to ask your spouse regarding marriage?
    107 Views
    It seems obvious that individuals should really get to know their partners before they are actually married to them. In as much, it is very appropriate to ask your partner questions that explore family of origin, vision for the future, spiritual beliefs, thoughts about family, and financial understandings. While these question areas are in no way an exhaustive list, they begin to explore areas of your partner’s life that should be considered before marriage. Further, you must be willing to disclose the information you request of your partner. Discussion before marriage mitigates surprises in marriage.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    Can you suggest some marriage advice for newlyweds?
    79 Views
    The best advice for newlyweds is simply this: The honeymoon will not last, and that is ok. While you may be terrified on the day you and your partner reach an impasse or have a significant disagreement, the difficulty is not the end of the world. Use the partnership trouble as a teachable moment. How does each partner express concern? Is compromise a tool in our tool box, or do you need to learn how to compromise? Checking-in with a therapist of clergyperson is always a useful option. Visiting with one of these professionals at the 6 month and 1 year mark in the marriage will afford newlyweds with the opportunity to identify and address potential problem areas.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    Can you share some marriage advice for men, specifically?
    89 Views
    Men, your wives are not servants, subservient, or lesser than you in any way. If youdesire a healthy, self-giving marriage, please treat your partner with respect and admiration.Your partners gifts, vision, and contributions to your married life are important, worthy, and necessary for the long-term vitality of the marriage. If your partnership has traditional gender roles (male works, female cares for house), you should still ensure that your wife is fully invested in all areas of decision making. Further, it is never appropriate for the “man” to control the financial vehicles like checking and savings accounts. Again, respect and admiration are always appropriate.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Mar 14, 2018
    What are some questions that married couples should ask?
    Any effective premarital counseling offering will include a Q and A exchange with partners. Questions to consider if you are in a position to offer counseling include: 1. What should I know about your family of origin? 2. How do you deal with conflict or disappointment? 3. What is your vision for children? 4. Has your immediate family ever wrestled with addiction? 5. Is there a history of divorce or other estrangement in your family of origin? 6. Are there any potential harmful secrets you are withholding from your partner? 7. What type of emotional support do you have beyond your partnership?
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    What are some questions that married couples should ask?
    542 Views
    Married couples should always express a keen interest in their partner’s health and wellbeing. Asking daily questions that probe a partner’s physical health, work satisfaction, spiritual vigor, and vision for the future are examples of queries that build rapport and communicate genuine interest in the other. Additionally, questions about the partner’s family of origin and friendships also deepen the marital bond. Questions should always be posed in a manner that invites discussion instead of “yes and no.” If a partner is not in a communicative mood, it is imperative that the inquirer recognize and respect space.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    How to avoid problems that might occur in my second marriage?
    92 Views
    Before engaging in the possibility of a second marriage, one must consider why the first marriage ended. If a partner died ending the first marriage, the survivor must take appropriate time to grieve the loss of his or her first spouse. If, on the other hand, irreconcilable differences or marital misconduct led to the demise of the first marriage, one must consider how his or her action/inaction contributed to marital termination. If families are to be blended in a second marriage, partners must recognize and ponder how a new home and family dynamic will test established communication patterns, lifestyles, and the like. Persons pondering a second marriage are encourage to discuss eventualities with a therapist or clergyperson.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    How to avoid money problems in marriage?
    127 Views
    Research indicates that money problems are the number one predictor of failed marriages. Before partners are married, they should be fully transparent with one another about debts, income, savings, retirement, and the like. Also, the partners should engage in conversations and exercises that truly explore financial compatibility and incompatibility. Agreements about accounts – shared, solo, or otherwise – should be discussed and established before the marriage is underway. Remember, most family courts recognized “marital debts and assets.” If the parties are unwilling to find common ground on financial issues, the court will establish common ground for you.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    How do I deal with communication problems in my marriage?
    240 Views
    As awkward as it may sound, role playing is a good method of addressing communication problems in a marriage. Find a trusted friend to “stand-in” for your partner. With the friend in place, practice articulating marital issues,concerns, and opportunities using the “I first” language. Have the stand-in voice issues, opportunities, and concerns as well, and practice receiving this information using responses that begin with, “I hear you saying…” “I first” approaches reduce the risk of blaming, name calling, and the like. If you or your partner uses belittling and intimidation to communicate, you have bigger problems than a temporary inability to express joy and frustration.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    Can you suggest some tips that can help me with my marriage problems.
    1000 Views
    Tip One: Recognize that marital duress typically takes missteps from both partners. If you want to overcome the problems in the marital relationship, both parties will need to recognize their role in the distress. Blaming the partner for the current troubles only deepens the pain and severity of the brokenness. Tip Two: Seek solutions to problems that are built on compromise and allow for an equal sharing of the sacrifices needed to right the ship. Solutions that highly favor one partner over the other create alienation and emotional distance.
  • Marriage_com answered a question on Aug 04, 2015
    How can I tackle my everyday marriage life problems?
    119 Views
    Communication, self-care, and advice are the key pieces to tackling everyday marriage problems. Partners should learn and practice effective first-person/ I first communication. I feel… Obviously, self-care is an important facet of marriage management too. If your body and soul are functioning in a substandard manner, how can you positively contribute to the easing of marital duress? Rest, exercise, meditation, and proper nutrition enhance self-care and one’s ability to cope and troubleshoot. When you truly feel overwhelmed by marital woes, do not hesitate to ask for help from trusted friends, professionals, and clergypersons.
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