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Luke23

  • Luke23 answered a question on Oct 05, 2015
    How should I solve communication problems in my marriage?
    162 Views
    Communicating with your spouse can be difficult for many reasons. Everyday problems can mount up, putting stress on the relationship.  Marriage is a partnership and both parties have to make problem-solving a priority. Set aside some time away from the daily hustle-and-bustle when you both can talk freely about what’s bothering you. Then focus on understanding each other's feelings and looking for solutions together.  Avoid blaming each other for the problems, and seek first to understand how the other person feels.  This will increase your empathy for each other and strengthen your marital bond. You can do many things to improve communication easily.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How to fix communication problems in my marriage?
    166 Views
    Remember that in communications there are always three parts: the speaker, the listener, and the message.  The speaker crafts the message with his or her own ideas, perspective, and language. The listener may not hear the message the same way, due to his or her own beliefs, attitudes, and cultural frame of reference (“filters”).  The way to improve communication in your marriage is to talk openly about problems, focusing on feelings and especially how each party in the marriage experiences things differently. Understanding one another’s “filters” will help you comprehend the other person’s point of view more clearly, and strengthen your bond.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    What measures should I take to fix my marriage problem?
    94 Views
    Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for marriage problems, but there are some standard measures anyone can take to improve their marriage. First, try discussing your concerns with your spouse in a non-threatening way, using “I statements” and active listening. This lets them know how you’re feeling and cues them to be more sensitive to specific issues. If things don’t improve, consider asking a third party (such as a clergy member or marriage counselor) to mediate your discussions and focus on solutions. Remember that there is no room for blame in these conversations. They are meant to help you, as a couple, increase your empathy and work together as a team.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How should I talk openly about my marriage problems?
    79 Views
    The best way to begin is to focus on your feelings. Then, phrase your sentence in terms of how you feel. For example, “When this happens, I feel this way.” Realize that your feelings are your own and are not caused by your spouse. This can be hard to do without blaming, and it can make you feel vulnerable just sharing this information. Your spouse must not attack you for how you feel. Instead, they should try to empathize with your feelings and realize they are not under attack. In the end, your lifelong happiness will depend on how you both get along, so try your best to communicate in a loving fashion.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How can a couple deal with marriage problems together?
    86 Views
    Since a marriage is a partnership between two people, marital problems must be tackled together with both parties giving their best effort. Many successful marriages use a weekly meeting to discuss problems and resolve conflicts. Often this takes place with a marriage counselor, but it can be done on your own. The important thing is that you know how to talk to each other without causing more hurt. Let your guard down and do not get defensive when talking things out. Instead, try to imagine how these issues feel from the other person’s perspective, and realize that teamwork is the only way to fix things. You’re in this together.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How to fix marriage problems?
    97 Views
    When you have many different problems in a marriage, it can help to take stock and step back to evaluate the root causes. Figuring out if there is a common source of marital strife can help to simplify the solution. Try categorizing problems like this: · Everyday things my spouse does that really get on my nerves · Issues that make me feel unimportant or ignored · Problems that violate my boundaries · Problems that undermine trust Once you have these categories, talk to your spouse about them as a group, saying, “When you do this I feel like you don’t care,” or, “When this happens I have a hard time trusting you.”
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How can a therapist counsel about your marriage problems?
    69 Views
    Working with a therapist in marital counseling can be a very rewarding process. Most therapists will start by taking an “inventory” of each individual’s personal history, as well as a relationship history. Often, they will ask each partner to commit to the relationship and to improving the status quo through counseling. Then they will help identify recurring problems, miscommunications and personality strengths and weaknesses, helping each spouse to see things from the other person’s point of view. Eventually, you will gain insight into your problems as a couple, and learn to communicate better while maintaining the bond that holds you together.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How should I discuss marriage problems with my husband?
    95 Views
    Discussing marital problems with your spouse is best done when both parties are calm, relaxed, and open to working on the relationship. A weekly appointment is a good idea if finding time in your schedule is difficult, or you just never “get around to it” otherwise. Decide in advance what issue you will bring up, and be prepared for your spouse to bring up a problem as well. Take turns practicing “I statements” and active listening skills, and if your feelings get too intense at any time, STOP. Make a note of where you are (“press pause”) and decide when you’ll restart the conversation (“press play” again). If tempers are too hot to agree on that, the same time next week often works.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    Can you suggest me some tips on how to handle marriage problems?
    706 Views
    When dealing with problems in an Islamic marriage, some basic rules apply. · Forgiveness is divine. Do not hold onto your irritations. Be ready to forgive your spouse for minor issues. This must be done in your heart, and it does not mean you can shame your spouse later on because you were so “forgiving.” · Do not use bad language. Harsh words and foul language make problems worse. Refrain from using them in anger at your spouse. · Man is weak and needs guidance from Allah. Be sure you are faithful in your heart and seek help from Allah.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How can I help someone fighting severe marriage problems?
    89 Views
    Severe marital problems, including infidelity, abuse, and neglect are complex relationship issues that may be difficult for a third party to fully understand. The best way to support a friend or loved one undergoing serious problems in their marriage is to offer to listen. Then, if your friend trusts you enough to share, practice active listening techniques and avoid judging, even though some things you could hear might be very disturbing. In most cases, advising a friend to leave their marriage will result in them cutting you out of their life, not their spouse, so take caution to avoid such advice except in the most extreme circumstances.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    Can you suggest me some tips on how to handle marriage problems?
    706 Views
    All marriages – even successful ones – have problems. The trick is in knowing how to deal with everyday issues so that they don’t become bigger troubles. Communicating when there’s a problem is always good advice, but beware how you communicate an issue to your spouse. Set aside time each week to discuss larger issues that may be ongoing or take a lot of work, and check in with each other every day to clear the air. Show concern for your partner’s concerns as you share your own, and remember that you are a team. You must work on fixing your problems together.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How to fix marriage problems?
    97 Views
    Everyday issues arise in every marriage. Successful marriages rely on good communication skills to keep the relationship on track. · Be sure to let your partner know when something is bothering you. · When you decide to share a problem with your spouse, choose your timing wisely. · Don’t try to have a discussion when tempers are hot. Instead, preface the discussion by letting your spouse know you have something you want to discuss, then agree to set aside time when you can talk. · This is not a time for a back-and-forth. When time is limited and stress is high, it’s important to remember to tackle just one issue at a time.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How to solve marriage problems at the early stage?
    97 Views
    Marital problems are sure to crop up in even the best marriages, so one thing you can do is to anticipate that there will be problems, and not lose your head the moment conflict arises. Then, don’t give in to the urge to yell and argue at length about a disagreement. This can often lead to more conflict and hurt feelings. Instead, remember the deep bond the two of you share, and honor one another’s feelings when trouble arises. Forget who’s right and who’s wrong, wait until you’re no longer angry, and do your best to communicate your feelings using “I statements.” These usually go, “When you ___, I feel ___.”
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    Why is late marriage a problem in some cases?
    141 Views
    Many people get married later in life and are very happy. The main difficulty with waiting until you’re older to get married is having kids. Women over 35 who do get pregnant are at higher risk for difficult pregnancies, and their babies have higher risks of diseases like Down Syndrome. Parenting when older is difficult, too. Older parents may be more financially stable than their younger counterparts, but they also face the dilemmas of aging and the challenges of parenting at the same time. Couples who wait until very late in life must also consider whether they will still be around to raise their child into adulthood.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    Why is child marriage a problem?
    132 Views
    Marriage is about more than just romance. A marriage is a binding legal agreement between two people, and (unlike most contracts you’ll enter into over the course of your life) this one remains in effect for the remainder of your natural born life, or until a legal divorce or annulment can be obtained. Most contracts don’t have the same lifespan or serious consequences as marriage, but as a rule children are not allowed to sign legal contracts until the age of majority. Allowing minors to enter into a marriage contract would run counter to this legal standard, and could make children vulnerable to sexual exploitation by adults as well.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How to find marriage counselling agency?
    80 Views
    If you don’t know anyone who can provide a recommendation, you can search online or in the yellow pages. Online, you can search for providers in your area. Clinics often have websites which feature their therapists, and provide a bio for each. This will enable you to compare costs, whether they will take your insurance, and the modalities or styles of specific therapists. For example, some therapists use rapid eye movement or hypnosis which may be a preference of some clientele.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How to become a marriage family counselor? Can you suggest some tips?
    86 Views
    Therapists are generally required to have a bachelor’s degree if not a master’s or doctoral degree, depending on the state and the type of professional counseling they choose to pursue. One can research the requirements for their own state to get an idea how much education is required. There is a difference between Therapists and counselors; therapists are also counselors but counselors are not always therapists. A therapist in mental health or psychology usually has at least a master’s degree. Therapists do clinical work, and have more autonomy and authority in practice.Counselors typically do not have the same education requirements, may work in public, non profit, or sliding scale facilities, and are restricted to certain areas of performance. Those pursuing the field in either capacity will need major coursework in sociology, family studies, child development, counseling psychology, or related areas; they will also be required to have accrued required clinical hours prior to practicing professionally. Clinical hours are earned by providing actual services alongside a licensed therapist, or under supervision in a special clinical setting.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    How much do marriage counselors earn in the beginning?
    86 Views
    Marriage counselors’ earnings are dependent on the region in which they work. State requirements vary; some states require marriage and family therapists to hold at least a master’s degree in order to practice, others do not require any credentials for therapists working in public or non-profit clinics. Wages also depend on the counselor’s individual credentials and education level and whether they are starting out in their own practice or working for a clinic. Those with specialties (for example, LGBTQ relationships) may earn higher wages. At the outset, a new therapist with a bachelor’s degree might earn around $15.00-$19.00 hourly, whereas a master’s degree therapist in a private practice (their own or someone else’s) could earn wages as high as $80000 annually.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    What are questions for premarital counseling?
    80 Views
    These are some examples of questions that may be asked by a therapist: · What does my family do that annoys you? · Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage? · If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move? · Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship? What did you fear most? · When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it? · What is the longest relationship you have ever had prior to this one? Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn? · Do you want children? When, and how many? · What is your relationship with God? Is religion very important to you? What aspects? · What are you NOT willing to give up for the relationship? · Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    What are some of the important questions to ask in premarital counseling?
    83 Views
    Consider your own values and ask your partner related questions. For example, you value having a family, and you want to have children someday. Ask her if and when she would like children. If you value eating at the table instead of in front of the TV, ask her about her dinner routine (before telling her yours of course). In asking broad and specific questions that relate to you, you are doing a little compatibility test. While small issues might not seem like such a big deal, marriages that have problems usually start out with minor ones. Figure out how you will resolve conflicts during your discussion; prepare yourselves by planning ahead for disagreements.
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    What are the premarital questions for couples?
    There are literally hundreds of premarital questions for couples. They cover many areas, such as culture, politics, religion, personal health, family planning, community, friends, parenthood, appearance, and relationship history. Here are some examples: · Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home? · Is quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time? Is it important to have a TV in the bedroom? Living room? Kitchen? Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on? · Is sexual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage? · Do you enjoy viewing pornography? · How would you describe the current state of your health? 58. Have you ever had a serious illness? Have you ever had surgery?What are some of the important questions to ask in premarital counseling?
  • Luke23 answered a question on Aug 28, 2015
    Are christian premarital counseling questions beneficial?
    70 Views
    Christian counseling questions are beneficial if one or both of you is of the Christian faith. When providing your opinions about children, family, health and medicine, science, politics, and God, some of your beliefs are bound to be different. To live harmoniously together in marriage, you will want to discuss how you will overcome these differences; especially if you have children together. As a unit, the two of you will need to be on the same page. You may still disagree on certain issues, but you can start to negotiate the compromises and sacrifices that may be made to satisfy you both.
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