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  • Godessisara answered a question on Jul 18, 2014
    I am not in love anymore
    Try some courtship rituals. Take ten minutes each day to sit on the couch and hold his hand and listen to him; let him listen to you. Really listen. Just ten minutes. Offer to run a bath, or rub his back, or do something that surprises him. Little things. Try to remember the things he's done or said to you in the past which melted your heart or made you feel closer to him. Remind him of those things. In doing so you mauy find that you rekindle feelings in yourself. Your heart chakra needs a little work. Find ways to feel loving about everyone around you. Ask people that he knows to tell you things about him that they love. Find something new to learn or do together. Ask him to do something that you'd really like and return the favor by doing the same for him. Share each other's interests and find new mutual interests. Court each other. Marriage is a wave. It goes up and down. Lots of times if you wait this out it will pass and you'll suddenly find yourself feeling the same. Kissing is also a good way to fall back in love. Enzymes in the mouth create the bonding. :)
  • Godessisara answered a question on Jul 24, 2020
    Our marriage is perfect but the sex stinks!
    Without specifically getting into Tantric sex (can seem daunting and also complicated), why not do some reading on tantra and practise a few of their techniques. Making your room into a "sacred space" (for love making) now and then, bringing in flowers and food, scents, things to make it more special and exciting but in a sensual way. The investment in your marriage is worth it in the long run.  Practise eye gazing, taking things very slowly without expectation or worrying about orgasm.  Make the little bit of time you do have together connected and loving without the pressure of orgasm.  A tantric game that you can play involves setting aside a specific amount of time each week (can be an evening or just an hour) and allow each of you to speak your desires and have it acted on.  If you've always wanted your husband to kiss your feet but have been too shy to ask (just an example) then this is the time to risk (which creates a deeper sense of intimacy) being honest and vulnerable. The other partner can't mock or judge you and unless it's something humiliating or degrading, has to do it.  And then next week it's the reverse.  Each person has a chance to divulge their deepest desires.  Start slowly so as not to shock each other right away. It's amazing how many people have secret desires that are unspoken for years.  Sex can be your adult playtime and a way to really connect.  It's not about the orgasm.