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  • 340 Points

Dedra110

  • Dedra110 asked
    How do I feel confident in myself after husband’s cheating and porn usage?
    He told me he just wanted to see and look at a different body-types and he was bored of my body. Am I overthinking this or is it okay that this deeply offends me? 
  • Dedra110 asked
    Is it okay to be sexually attracted to other people in a marriage?
    I understand it’s okay to look at another person and see that they have a pleasant looking face and consider them to be “attractive”. Though where is the line crossed? Is it okay to be attracted to someone else in a sexual light? When does simply looking at someone turn into “checking them out” in a sexual light. And is that considered to be unfaithful or disrespectful to your spouse?
  • Dedra110 asked
    Why do I feel at constant competition with other girls after discovering husband’s secret porn addiction?
    He claims that he wanted to look at other body-types different to mine and the women in the porn were a “different attractive”. Now I feel constant resentment towards anything remotely sexual involving women. I resent how sex driven our society is. It’s to the point where I unfollow old friends on social media that post promiscuous photos. Anyone go through a similar experience or have any advice?
  • Dedra110 asked
    Is the first year of marriage supposed to be this hard?
    It’s a cliche thing to say, but what if it becomes too hard? We are 7 months in and have had terrible nasty fights. At times we are the most miserable we have ever been. We have both filled out divorce papers during fights in attempt to threaten the other with leaving, just never submitted them. Except when we aren’t fighting, things are absolutely wonderful and we make each other happier than we’ve ever been.
  • Dedra110 answered
    What to do when husband asks for threesome
    You shouldn’t cave in at all. This is a big decision and it is absolutely your choice. I think with porn men have become accustomed to watching women in situations like this and enjoy sitting back and watching. I wouldn’t be worry about his sexuality, I think he purely just would like to recreate what he’s seen online. Maybe you could choose something else to act out with just the two of you. Maybe spice things up in a different way.
  • Dedra110 answered
    Stuck between a rock and a hard place
    I think that the fact that you felt that freedom and happiness when apart means that it’s truly the best outcome for you two. I have many close friends that grew up in a divorced household. I did not, but my parents were constantly fighting and I could tell that they were not happy together and the love was lost. I have heard from many kids that they were happy that their parents were divorced because they could tell how much happier they were. I hope that you consider the fact that your children can sense whether or not you’re happy (especially if they’re older). I watched my mom in a marriage where she was stuck and unhappy, and I wished she could just leave my father. Please acknowledge that your happiness is also important, you need to be happy before you can make your kids happy.
  • Dedra110 answered
    My SO can't finish inside me
    There are many issues with people not being able to orgasm under pressure. Since he was previously a virgin, masturbating may be what he is used to, and he may associate masturbation with orgasming. My husband and I have had sex over hundreds of times and 9 times out of 10 he finished by masturbation, because I prefer that he not finish inside of me. He doesn’t have any problem with pulling out, it’s just simply easier to finish inside so that’s why men prefer it. Trust me though his frustration is going to only make it worse, for me I’ve realized relaxation is the way to make sure you orgasm. Make sure you’re both relaxed and maybe to make him feel better you can turn it sexy. You can say something like how you’d like him to come on you, or where you’d like him to come and act like you’re really enjoying it and excited for him to come. Maybe moan too or take over, just try to distract him from consciously thinking about him finishing.
  • Dedra110 answered
    Sex in marriage
    I’ve recently had an issue kinda similar to this in my marriage. My husband told me it was because the girls online were a “different attractive”, and it was impersonal instead of person. The way he explained it was, when you look at your wife naked, it’s like “your wife” so in a way it’s less exciting. Men take advantage of the fact that they can see us naked or have us whenever they want, we will always be here. I think the best thing for you to do, is feel sexy yourself, you need to have that feeling of sexiness before you try to regain your sexlife. So start moisturizing your legs more after you shave, do your hair a new way, buy some langerie that makes YOU feel sexy. Once he sees you enjoying yourself and sees you feeling sexy again your sex life will greatly improve.
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