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  • 120 Points


  • Christinam asked
    Interracial couple and name change
    I've always wanted to either keep my maiden name, or combine last names with my husband, either with a hyphen or by creating a new family name. This would make me feel like we're making a new team together, rather than me joining his already existing team. However, my boyfriend, who is Chinese-American and whose parents grew up in China, said his father (and mother and grandfather) would be very angry with him because he is the last male "Cheng" on his side of the family, and has been constantly reminded since age 6 (lol!) of his responsibility to pass on his family's name. And although in Chinese culture, the woman keeps her maiden name, his parents have been integrated into American culture for so long that it's also important to them that I legally change my name anyway. My boyfriend has encouraged me to keep going professionally by my maiden name, and even said that if it was really important to me that he would fight the battle with his parents and create a new family name with me. I know that for him the desire to keep "Cheng" is about maintaining a good relationship with his parents rather than about some weird dominance/patriarchal issue. I'm wondering if any of you have had a similar issue to work through, and what decision you came to.