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Alice

About

Law Office Of Alice Pare concentrates in Family Law and divorce cases and handles a wide range of other issues that include criminal defense, serious traffic offenses (DUI, DWI, etc.), personal injury cases, as well as a variety of immigration matters.
  • Alice asked a question on Aug 19, 2020
    What to do when a woman loses interest in her husband?
    28 Views
  • Alice asked a question on Aug 19, 2020
    What percentage of Indian marriages are arranged?
  • Alice asked a question on Aug 19, 2020
    Common-law marriage Nevada - What does the State say?
    52 Views
  • Alice asked a question on Aug 19, 2020
    How long does the average marriage last?
    28 Views
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 16, 2020
    ​ LDR: Is it worth the risk?
    It really depends.Personally, I am not the type of person who would do well in a long-distance relationship. I need that physical connection and the emotional intimacy that comes from being in person with somebody.You have not been together very long, so I'm not sure whether your relationship can handle the stress of such a big change.Ultimately, it's up to the two of you on whether or not you feel your relationship is worth the struggle of being in a LDR.There's a useful article written by a marriage and family therapist that talks about this very thing. It gives advice for a https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/expert-tips-for-those-in-long-distance-relationships/" thriving long-distance relationship. href="qrtmng1">" I think you would really like it.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 16, 2020
    Can I ask her to unfollow her ex?
    I don't think there's anything wrong with asking your girlfriend to cool it with her ex OR unfollow. Just make sure you're not making demands of her (if you want to learn more about dominant partners/controlling relationships, check it out https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/dominant-partner/" href="qrtmng1"> here " Instead, open the lines of communication and tell her how it makes you feel to see her express such close sentiments with her ex.I'm sure she would not like you telling your ex how much you miss them (on a public forum, no less!) if the roles were reversed. Talk it out, I'm sure she'll understand.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 16, 2020
    Any other methods of counseling for long distance relationships?
    If you're looking for counseling but you don't live in the same city, that's no problem! This is the internet age, after all. You can now find online counselors who will do Skype sessions/video calls with you and your spouse. There's a handy little therapist finder that may be of service to you in this department. That being said, if she doesn't want to talk to you anymore or communicate why she's not as into the relationship anymore, it sounds like she's emotionally checked out. This may be the end of the road for your love. Try and talk to her about this and see where the problems lie.All the best.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 15, 2020
    Do affairs that break up a marriage last?
    1. Affairs don't lastStatistically, 25% of affairs die off within 7 days and 65% of them end within 6 months.2. Once a cheater, always a cheater?If someone cheated on their married partner - someone they committed to being with forever, shared a life and perhaps children with, the odds of them cheating on the person who made a mess of their marriage is pretty high.The Infidelity Help Group released statistics saying that a whopping 90% of those who had online affairs became affected by them and started having more affairs immediately after the first one. Needless to say, trusting your spouse not to repeat the cheat will be an issue.3. It gets oldOnce you're in a relationship, you're not the "fun, exciting affair" anymore. A relationship is fulfilling, but it also comes with its own set of problems - and problems/nagging/routine was exactly what you or your partner was trying to get away from in your marriage.There's actually a great article that talks about relationship reality vs. relationship fantasy , and it touches on assessing the potential future happiness of your relationship. It's definitely worth a read if you are interested in this topic! It really depends on the people. Either way, starting your relationship with a lie is not a great foundation for a lasting partnership.Do affairs that break up a marriage last? I would say that whether they last or not largely depends on the two individuals having the affair. But statistically, the answer is no.Either way, I would caution that an affair is not a great foundation for a lasting partnership.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 15, 2020
    Marriage is a social construct or a real fairy-tale? What do you think?
    26 Views
    The idea of marriage being a social construct is hardly new. Not only has it been referenced by literary characters (such as Amy March from Little Women) but it has been in countless movies and television shows, often portrayed by a strong male or female character who doesn't "believe in" marriage.To quote Isla Fisher in her role as April in the movie 'Definitely Maybe', "You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? Why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer-capitalist agenda?"That is quite the mouthful, but April makes some strong points!Yet, the thing is, people keep getting married! So there is something behind it besides social constructs. There's deep passion, love, and the desire to spend the rest of your life with the person you just can't live without.I also remember this amazing quote by Susan Sarandon in the movie ‘Shall We Dance’ that perfectly sums up why people get married:“We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.”There's actually a really great article about why marriage is still important today .The article touches on some excellent points like how marriage teaches you about commitment, how it strengthens your union as a family for your kids (if you decide to have any!) and more.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 15, 2020
    What is an INFJ marriage like?
    The Myers-Briggs personality test refers to an INFJ stands for introversion, intuition, feeling, and judgment and is often touted as one of the rarest personality types in the world.The strengths of an INFJ marriage is that both partners are compassionate and intuitive. They have a talent for noticing when their partner is upset or uneasy and does whatever they can to nurture their spouse.Those with the INFJ personality are also notorious peacekeepers and work hard to have productive and effective conflict resolution. INFJ marriages are guided by integrity and love. Those in an INFJ marriage will have to work harder at communication since INFJ couples are deep thinkers and are pretty reserved when it comes to talking about their feelings.Everyone is different, so this may not be a representation of every INFJ marriage.If you're still curious about an INFJ marriage and the Myers-Briggs personality test, I suggest you check out this article that explains it in more depth.Happy reading!
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 15, 2020
    What to do when you're not happy in your marriage? Any advice?
    21 Views
    I'm really sorry you're having trouble in your marriage right now.A marriage can be a really wonderful thing - it's a lover, a partner, and a friend all rolled into one awesome relationship. On the other hand, marriage can also be really hard and emotionally taxing when you're unhappy.If you're looking for what to do when you're not happy in your marriage, don’t forget the power of good counseling and communication.Whether you go to marriage counseling solo or as a team, it can really help. Your counselor will be able to help you get to the root of what's making you unhappy in your relationship. Communicating your needs, desires, and feelings to your spouse is also key for maintaining a happy marriage. Your spouse can't fix a problem that they don't know exists.In the end, it isn't good for your mental health to stay in an unhappy or toxic relationship. Actually, there's an interesting article I read called “ Marriage and Its Emotional Influence - How an Unhappy Marriage Affects You " that I think you might find it helpful.Good luck!
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 15, 2020
    I think marriage is overrated - Am I wrong?
    24 Views
    Yes and no.As a purely romantic gesture, marriage is overrated - because marriage isn't only about romance, necessarily. It's about partnership! Marriage isn't about throwing a big party on your wedding day, it's about compromise, trust, and growth.Sure, it has its ups and downs (but things worth pursuing usually do!) but marriage is an incredible journey you take with someone you love.There are also many benefits of being married, such as:You have guaranteed companionship for the rest of your lifeYou get to grow with your favorite personThose who are happily married have longer lives (I actually read an awesome article about the health benefits of marriage here that you may find interesting!)Children grow up in a more stable, statistically happier homeYou can file a marital tax deductionThe sex gets better (for women, or so says this study There are social security benefits and health insurance benefits And the list goes on!Whether marriage is overrated or not is largely dependent on your life goals. If you love stability, want to live your life with your best friend, or desire to have a family, marriage is a great idea!If you're someone who values independence, isn't crazy about responsibility, and doesn't like to label your relationships, marriage probably isn't for you.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 02, 2020
    how do divorces affect your community
    101 Views
    It really depends on what kind of community you mean. For example, if you and your spouse were deeply connected to your religious institution (church, Kingdom Hall, temple, etc.) then it could definitely affect your standing and cause some divisions amongst the congregation in the same way that friends usually take sides after a breakup.There's an interesting article about the negative impacts of divorce and the different ways it impacts your life. I think you'll find it really useful.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 02, 2020
    What's the perfect gift for an anniversary?
    Based on the things you mentioned, I would think that the following would be great ideas for a gift for her:Sephora gift cardA designer purseScented Candles or a fancy body lotion/soapAs for sentimental gifts, why not do the "52 Reasons I Love You Deck of Cards" idea? Take a deck of playing cards and put stickers on them. Print out little slips of paper, the size of the card or smaller, that lists one thing (per card) that you love about her, then glue the paper to each playing card. It's a cute and sentimental gift that she's sure to love. There's an awesome article all about the best gift ideas to strengthen your relationship! You can read it and get some inspiration.
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 02, 2020
    Is my 26 year marriage over?
    127 Views
    I do not think this is a reason to throw 26 years of marriage down the drain, but I can completely understand why the shock of this has left you feeling so betrayed. It doesn't feel good to be lied to, even about something like a bad habit.I would try and have a calm, honest discussion with your husband about your trust issues and see if he can put your mind at ease about the time he spends away.There's a great article all about the top things you need to do to rebuild trust in a relationship . The article is written by a licensed professional counselor and has a lot of great tips!
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 28, 2020
    Am I doing something wrong? Am I controlling?
    150 Views
    For the first two years of my marriage, I worked part-time but didn't make nearly enough as my husband did. I insisted on paying half of our bills and buying all the groceries, which left me with basically no spending money.I remember thinking, even though I greatly appreciated how much he took care of our finances, that it made me jealous that he could buy whatever he wanted but I couldn't. It wasn't his fault, of course. I needed to get a better job. But all the same, it made me feel left out and I remember longing to have my own savings so I could surprise him with a trip or go shopping for clothes.It's shallow, sure, but I see where your wife is coming from. That being said, I don't think you're being controlling in the slightest.Your wife is a grown woman and should not be afforded an "allowance" just for being your wife, especially if you are giving her unlimited access to your finances.I would sit down and talk with her. Ask her why she's feeling the way she is.If she's really feeling left out, as I had been early in my marriage, why not suggest that she find a part-time job that would give her access to her own finances? If there is something in particular that she wants to save for (a trip, a new purse, etc.) why not ask her about it and slowly help her achieve the goal?There's a useful article about financial communication that you and your wife may find helpful to go over together. You can find it here: https://www.marriage.com/advice/finance/how-to-overcome-financial-conflict/ Good luck!
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 28, 2020
    How to deal with a lying or perhaps a cheating husband for the second time
    70 Views
    You have every right to question your husband's behavior. Clearly, they shared a deep, emotional connection that crossed the line in the past. You let him know how this hurts you and affected your marriage and all these years later he's at it again.Whether their interactions are innocent or not, he already knows that this behavior hurts you and is following through with it regardless.I would sit down and have a serious conversation with him about the future of your marriage. Explain to him why this hurts you. Tell him that it makes you:• Feel unloved• Question his loyalty• Creates sexual barriers between the two of you• Not trust himAfter discussing these things calmly, ask him how he would feel and what he would do if the situation were reversed and it was YOU who was interacting in secret with your ex?There's a great article about what to do when your husband is lying and possibly cheating in a relationship that I think applies pretty well here. You can read it here: https://www.marriage.com/advice/infidelity/forgive-your-husband-for-cheating/Good luck.
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 28, 2020
    ​Is it okay to keep sending my girlfriend gifts by choice? What do you guys think?
    107 Views
    It's really sweet that you put so much thought and emotion into buying gifts for your girlfriend! She no doubt sees that too and appreciates what you are doing for her. I can totally relate! I love buying my husband things and seeing how excited he gets when he opens up a wrapped present. That being said, if both your friends and your girlfriend are saying it's enough, it may be time to give your wallet a break!Your friends are likely worried that sending too many gifts will be financially taxing on you. They may also worry that spoiling your girlfriend in this way could set a precedent and cause her to expect or use you for things (which she is obviously not if she is also asking you to cool it with the gifts!)Here's a great article that I read about all the different ways you can express your love for your partner without having to spend a dime! (Do check it out: https://www.marriage.com/advice/romance/romantic-gestures-how-to-express-yourself/)
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 28, 2020
    How to deal with husbands debt?
    95 Views
    Congratulations on your marriage! That being said, going through financial troubles is no joke and I really feel for you. Debt of any kind can bring stress and anxiety into a marriage, especially when you find out that the debt was part of deceit on your husband's part. Likely you know that your husband lied to you about it because he was embarrassed (though he shouldn't have been - MANY people have college debt -whether it's tuition or the cost of living- for many years of their lives and it's all about earning your education!)Still, it's hard to cope when your spouse lies to you about something. You start to wonder what else they are lying about.I suggest finding a moment when your hubby is in a good mood and sitting down to have a loving chat with him. You may also consider couple's financial counseling or having a meeting with a local financial advisor at your bank branch.Remember that, like you said, your husband seems to be spiraling into shame and berating the decisions that he made in his late teens/early twenties isn't going to help anything. Instead, focus on what you can both do moving forward.Can you tackle the debt together?Can you both (together or separately) take out a line of credit with your bank and use it to pay off the debt? Yes, you will still have the debt but at a much lower interest rate. This will make it easier to pay off.Can he apply for some kind of repayment assistance?There are definitely options out there, so don't fret! I hope everything has been going well with you since you made this post.In the meantime, there's a useful article (found here: https://www.marriage.com/advice/finance/sharing-finances-in-a-marriage-advice-that-will-help-you-succeed) that's all about the financial advice for married couples. I highly suggest going through this article with your husband and starting a dialogue about how important financial stability is to you. Just make sure to drive the point home without upsetting him too much.
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 28, 2020
    Should I confess my afair?
    That's a tricky one.On the one hand, if the affair is over and you are actively working on being a loyal and trustworthy wife to your husband - why break his heart over something that has already ended just to relieve your own guilt?On the other hand, I'm someone who would want to know if my spouse was being unfaithful. I don't want to live in a relationship based on a lie. I do believe that if you tell your husband you had an affair, or more importantly WHY you had the affair, you'd be able to get to the bottom of the issues in your marriage, you'd come out stronger on the other side.In the meantime, here’s a helpful read about how to get over the guilt caused by cheating in a marriage that I think will be of interest to you.
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 28, 2020
    What are the best relationship sites?
    102 Views
    1. Marriage.comMarriage.com is a great website for relationship advice. It has informative articles (like this one: 8 Tips to Improve Communication in Your Relationship ) quizzes, legal guides from experts, marriage courses, resources (such as how to find a therapist in your area) and this forum we're on right now! Definitely a win in my books.2. Sexy MarriageThis is a blog run by Dr. Corey Allan, a marriage and family therapist and professional counselor. This blog has a Christian undertone and talks about marriage advice, free classes, and more.3. The Gottman InstituteIs any list of relationship sites complete without the Gottman Institute? This is a researcher and his wife who have written books and always have awesome advice to give for couples, parents, professionals, etc. 4. Marriage 365This is a cute little website with articles for couples with practical advice. The goal is to help couples build healthy, happy marriages.
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 28, 2020
    Am I a selfish husband?
    113 Views
    It isn't selfish to want your wife to look her best. You love her and you WANT to be attracted to her.As far as her not performing oral sex - Even though it's something you want and desire, it is something that makes her uncomfortable. Consent is very important in a healthy sexual relationship, so if she isn't comfortable performing oral sex, you certainly should not guilt her into doing so. It isn't going to do you any good to tell your wife she is fat and you aren't attracted to her any longer. However, why not implement healthy activities for the two of you to do together? Start cooking meals together and choose healthy options. Go for walks or bike rides every day after dinner. Not only is this a great way to burn calories, but it's also quality time you can spend together talking.There's an article called " The Correlation Between Being in a Relationship and Gaining Weight " that I think you may find interesting.
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 19, 2020
    Who invented marriage?
    If you believe in the Bible, then marriage dates way back to the beginning of time! The Bible says that God created Adam and Eve and that "Man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Since Adam and Eve were the only humans around at that point, they couldn't exactly have someone come officiate their wedding. So they were drawn together by God in a marriage arrangement. As the population grew, the people saw a need to make these marriages official to legally protect the husband and wife.If you're not a big believer, then you'll be interested to know that one of the first records of marriage was from 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. This tradition was embraced by Romans, Hebrews, and Greeks and after had more to do with business than love. If you're considering tying the knot, you'll love this fun test. Check out the Ultimate Marriage Compatibility Quiz here!
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 19, 2020
    Any tips for coping with a sexless marriage?
    Ugh. This is the absolute worst.Not only is sex fun, but it also helps couples bond. When you love someone, you want to give them all of yourself - including your body. So, it can be incredibly frustrating, ego-killing, and downright heartbreaking when your spouse isn't interested in having sex anymore.If you are coping with a sexless marriage, here are some proactive tips:You are not alone. Sexless marriages may not be talked about openly, but they are incredibly common.Get to the root of the problem. Ask your spouse if they are willing to attend therapy with you. This can help you to identify why you aren't having sex anymore.Ask your spouse to see a doctor. There could be a physical reason why your sex life has dropped off, like stress, hormonal birth control or a drop in testosterone.Open the lines of communication. Talk with your spouse, be clear about what you desire from them and ask them how they feel about your sex life. I read a great article about sexless marriage communication here. Read it if you're interested!Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this difficult time! I hope these suggestions help you get back on track in your marriage.
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 13, 2020
    What does the Bible say about marriage?
    71 Views
    The Bible has a lot of great marriage advice that is still relevant today. In Genesis, God reveals that a man should leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and that the two will become "one flesh." The Bible speaks of what sort of love couples should have for one another at 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 where it says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." In Philippians 2:2, the Bible says "make my joy full by being of the same mind and having the same love, being completely united, having the one thought in mind." This scripture highlights the importance of thinking as a team. Be considerate - Philippians 2:3,4 says "Do nothing out of contentiousness or out of egotism, but with humility consider others superior to you, as you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others." The Bible says that husbands are to love their wives as they love themselves and that wives are to have a deep respect for her husband. In fact, the Bible has verses that can be applied to every aspect of married life. I found a compilation here.
  • Alice answered a question on Aug 13, 2020
    Is exploring an open marriage a wise idea?
    71 Views
    I don’t think so and I have my reasons. An open marriage is defined as a relationship where both partners are free to explore sexual relationships outside of the marriage. The longer a couple stays together, the more routine their sex life tends to become. Many couples look at an open marriage as a way to spice up their relationship, but is this wise? I mean there are a couple of other ways to do it then why complicate things? A study I read about the oxytocin released during sexual intimacy, particularly orgasm, says that oxytocin is largely responsible for forging bonds of trust and bonding between partners. When a spouse is getting a rush of oxytocin from someone other than their spouse, they may start to fall in love with their new partner and abandon the marriage. Similarly, the person outside of the marriage may start to fall in love with their married fling which could lead to emotional turmoil. An open-marriage may sound like a fun and thrilling fantasy until it becomes a reality. Many partners experience consuming jealousy that can negatively affect the marriage. If you or anyone you know is considering an open marriage, they can try out these amazing ways to spice up their existing relationship instead. I think these tips are kinda amazing: https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-do-you-spice-up-a-boring-relationship/
  • Alice answered a question on Sep 04, 2020
    How should I move on after a bitter divorce?
    116 Views
    Life after separation will be harrowing, and one has to go through many changes. It's tough to face the changes happening at home and in the social circle. Here are some of the tips that could be useful for you to build up your social life again. 1. Take your time : Looking forward to the reclaiming of your social life does not happen in overnight. Take time to heal after divorce. This will help you to start a new social life. If you don't give time yourself for healing, then it will have a severe impact on your social life. Let your emotions come out by talking to your close friends or take the help of a professional therapist. Make yourself to work through the feelings healthily. Once you have got confidence that you are prepared, then you can restart your social life. 2. Accept and Believe the changes : After your separation would be many changes happening around you. Friends change, and you might keep only some real friends. Accept the fact that only some friends will be with you forever. Do not worry about friends who have left you. Try to make new friends and new relationships. 3. Keep your focus on your children and yourself : After separation, the only thing you have is your children. Your children should be your first and foremost preference. When you take any decision regarding your social life, it affects you and your children also. Think about the children and their needs. Be careful while making decisions regarding dating and entering into a new relationship again. Consult a Professional Family Lawyer to make your divorce process easy and simple.  
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