- Swtnsassy41 asked My question is this. Is the sexual position of the woman on top an absolute must in most men's minds? I'm a 41 year old female, As a preteen I was raped by an adult man who forced me to be on top of him. I've dealt with the rape in personal therapy. However, I can not bring myself to climb on top during sex and when asked to do so I shut myself off. I do not mind pleasuring my partner and will give oral sex, and other foreplay goodies. I freely enjoy other positions for both Vag and anal play. In the past very few men understood I didn't want to ride on top, they took it as my being prude. I'm about to go back into the dating scene soon and I am terrified of how to keep from being prude but not being forced to climb on up.