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  • 1040 Points

Louis Krohn

  • Louis Krohn asked
    I think my marriage is over. How should I break the news?
    My wife and I have been married for eight years now.. We accidentally met at the mall and fell in love with each other. Soon after, I went to study abroad and, we then decided to get into a long-distance relationship. And 3 years later, we decided to live together. A month later, she broke the news that she’s pregnant and I was utterly shocked as I wasn’t ready. But for our baby’s sake, we moved in together. It’s been eight years now, and I now feel that we are not compatible enough. I am planning for divorce but don’t know how to break this news to her as she’s going to feel very bad. I am also worried about the impact of the broken marriage on our child.  
  • Louis Krohn asked
    My wife wears inappropriate clothes to the office, and I feel uncomfortable about it.
    My wife and I have been together for nine years now and we have a child as well. She is pretty; I find her beautiful but the way she dresses, puts me off. She is a very small chested and to hide that fact she wears push up lingerie. Very recently she got some formal t-shirts. She wears them to the office and usually keeps her top buttons open to flaunt her boobs. I have noticed her many a times doing this and personally feel very uncomfortable about it. We have had conversations on this, but she seems to be unfazed. She thinks I am stifling her, and says “I don’t like someone directing me about what to wear.” Please suggest me how should I make her realize that it bothers me.  
  • Louis Krohn asked
    Should I decline the offer or go for Threesome
    My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for eight years now and  we are planning to get married very soon. Recently, at a close friend’s party, we had sex and later were joined by one more mutual friend. That day we had a threesome, and it was fun. Now, after three months, my boyfriend is pressuring me to again have a threesome with his close friend which I’m not comfortable with. It happened that day because we were drunk and didn’t realize what were we doing. It happened accidentally. But now when I am planning for our marriage, I cannot share him with someone else, especially in bed. I don’t know why he is so attracted to her(his close friend). Moreover, I don’t want to upset him by declining this offer. What should I do? I don’t know how to react to this.  
  • Louis Krohn asked
    Why do husbands cheat on their wives? Should I call it quits or revive the relationship?
    Hi, I sometimes wonder what are the reasons that men look for love outside the marriage. My husband cheated on me twice and now I don’t find any reason to forgive him. I just don’t understand what is missing in our relationship that he finds it fulfilling outside. Many times I indirectly tried to ask him if there is something he doesn’t find satisfying on my end but he is tight-lipped. He is resistant to discuss anything on this matter. This is what irritates me a lot. I don’t see our marriage working together. Please suggest me something, where should I work upon to make our relationship grow healthier.  
  • Louis Krohn asked
    How to make a fresh start in a second marriage after a bitter divorce?
    It has been 5 months since my friend got a divorce. She is still young and pretty as she was 2 years ago (before marriage). I personally wish to see her marrying again. I want her to give herself a new chance in life. But before sharing my opinion with her, I really want to know what are the fears of getting married again.   What fears do they deal with before getting into re-marriage or even thinking about it?  
  • Louis Krohn asked
    Are love marriages are more prone to divorce?
    I have a doubt, I wish somebody can help me out finding the right answer for this. I am 25 years old and wondering if I should go for love marriage or, for an arranged marriage. As heard, love marriages often end up with divorce comparing to arrange marriages. And, I really want to know why. Now I’m confused that what should I keep as a priority in my life- a love marriage or an arranged marriage?  
  • Louis Krohn asked
    How should I move on after a bitter divorce?
    Our marriage survived for just 2 years. Life was smooth initially but later conflicts and physical abuse came into the picture. I didn’t know that the person I trust a lot could be this bizarre. I recently had my divorce. I’m feeling better now but couldn’t overcome with the horrible experiences I faced. What should I do to deal with the end of my marriage? Suggest me something, please.
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I accidentally unlocked my husband’s phone and saw some chat excerpts with his female colleague at work, hinting at a possible rendezvous. Should i confront him?
    The first thing to look at is the identity of the colleague he’s been chatting with. If it’s someone you know well enough and trust, then I don’t believe it’s worth prying too much into it. The only time you should confront him and raise the red flag is if he doesn’t inform you before the said rendezvous is. If the person he’s chatting with is someone you’ve heard of but don’t properly know, you should confront him around the time of the rendezvous’ occurrence. For example, if the said rendezvous is in a week and he doesn’t hint at it at least a day before, you should ask him about it. If it’s someone whom your husband has dated in the past, you should confront him then and there. You deserve to know why your husband plans to meet her ex. In the end, what it comes down to is the trust between you and your other half. If you have a well developed relationship he would tell you himself before engaging in the activity. The bond you share with him is also an important factor. If he doesn’t tell you, it means that there are problems in your relationships that you both need to work on.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I like somebody who has just broken up with his girlfriend for 5y. I am in a state of conflict. Sometimes he reciprocates, and other times he cold shoulders me. Should I think about prospects with him?
    There is nothing wrong with thinking about prospects with someone. It happens when you tend to like someone, so you’re not in the wrong in anyway whatsoever. The thing to remember is that getting worked up over it isn’t going to solve anything. He’s alternating between affection and animosity simply because he’s in pain. He isn’t sure of what to do and is prone to mood swings. You are on the receiving end of the consequences of these mood swings. Prospecting is good but I would advise that you let him know that you like him. Sometimes, it’s easier to move on when someone is agreeing to stand by you. The hardest part during this debacle is silencing your mind. If you’re speculating whether he likes you or not, it would be better for you to consider that he doesn’t. This is the safest route for you and would lead to minimum damage if you guys don’t hit it off.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    After breakup, my ex boyfriend showed up at my doorstep last night and we had sex and now he wants only sexually attached with no strings attached. I don’t want it but couldn’t say no. Please help me.
    No need to get worked up about it. Say no again. You should keep saying no until he understands it. I get what you’re going through. The problem between your ex and you is miscommunication. He is under the impression that the sex after breakup was because you want to be friends with benefits with him. It’s your responsibility to remind him that what you both went through is just break-up sex. Almost all broken up couples have break-up sex. It’s just the release of pent-up feelings. Try not to think too much and don’t put a lot of emphasis on this encounter. Free yourself and say no with all your strength. Make him understand why you had sex and end things as quickly as you can.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    Once my child witnessed my husband and I hurling abuses at each other and now he won’t stop abusing his peers. How should I set him straight considering that we did not exactly lead by an example?
    Start a swear jar. Swear jars are effective ways to control swearing in the house. Swear jars will keep your child from swearing inside the house. It is also a great way to save up some money. Another activity you can do to prevent swearing in the house is starting to punish your child in various ways. Not physical punishment, mind you! If your child swears, take his favorite toy or deny him his favorite food. This will enforce a reward system and mentally rewire them to avoid using swears. Stopping him from abusing peers is a trickier situation to deal with. Although the measures you’ve been taking at home will contribute to him not swearing but your child still still might do it. If you hear him abuse his peers, you should immediately scold him. I understand that humiliating him in front of his peers is not good but it is still extremely effective.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I am always jealous when someone praises my husband, is it normal?
    It’s normal! It happens with everyone and even with me when my best friend praises my husband in front of me. Jealousy is a fun part of every relationship and instances of jealousy are normal as it shows your unconditional love for your partner and how much you care for him. But, don’t make it your habit as jealousy can also lead to mistrust or insecurities. And remember one thing, there is a fine line between jealousy and possessiveness and possessiveness is definitely not healthy for your happy married life. You might have an inferiority complex which may make you feel jealous all the time when someone praises your husband. You can’t stop everybody from expressing their feelings. So, shed your insecurities and remember one thing that he has chosen you over other women in the world. You should try to overcome your fears, heal your insecurities, and have faith in your partner and your valuable relationship.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I had a relationship with my coworker which ended in a bad note and now we have to work together. It’s difficult to see an eye to eye with each other. I don’t want to make a switch. How should i cope?
    It’s really an eerie feeling to work with someone you had a relationship that ended in a bad note. Office breakups are tougher than normal breakups and things get bit awkward after a sudden breakup with your partner. But, switching your job is not a good option and you should not put your career at stake for the sake of your bad relationship. I know it’s not an easy task to work with your ex after a breakup but you should try to reduce the discomfort and tension to maintain a healthy professional relationship. First of all, you should try to keep your personal matters outside the workplace and the negativity of your relationship should not affect your professional reputation. The second thing which you can do is limiting your interaction with your ex. It doesn’t mean you need to avoid important meetings or conferences just to stay away from your ex. And if you can’t get rid of the memories of your ex, then you should leave that workplace and move to a new city. Start a new journey of your life and career.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    My boyfriend is a narcissist. How do I deal with his self absorption? Break up is not an option.
    It’s a risky step you’re taking. I would like to make it clear to you that no matter how hard you try eventually you’ll get tired and leave him. But since you want to give it a try, here are the things that you can do. The thing is that a relationship with a narcissist requires compromises. The first order of action is learning to compromise. He will always do things that you don’t like and is unlikely to change. You need to accept that this will go on forever and forgive his actions each time. The second order of action is accepting inferiority. To a narcissist, you will always be inferior. The only way he’ll ever accept you is if you stay ‘below’ him. He will not like if you do something that goes against his views and might retaliate with physical or mental torture. The next problem his self-absorption will bring is called lack of ‘whole object relations.’ In Layman language, ‘whole object relations’ means that he will see himself and people around him either as “perfect” or “worthless”. He will be unable to understand imperfections and will never accept that people can have good and bad sides. His self-absorption means that he will almost surely never understand you or even try to understand you and your problems. He will never take the blame for his mistakes and will push consequences of his actions on you.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I have recently had a divorce and now I have inhibitions meeting and trusting members of opposite gender. Please help.
    I would suggest you to take your time. It is better for you, as of right now, to get together with your closest friends and focus on moving on and re-establishing yourself. It’s not like the opposite gender is going anywhere. Advise your friends to not try to get you a date because you are in a vulnerable situation. Try to find an activity that distracts you and takes your mind away from the divorce you just went through. I’m sure that after a few months you yourself will feel like associating with the opposite gender.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I have recently had a divorce and now I have inhibitions meeting and trusting members of opposite gender. Please help.
    I would suggest you to take your time. It is better for you, as of right now, to get together with your closest friends and focus on moving on and re-establishing yourself. It’s not like the opposite gender is going anywhere. Advise your friends to not try to get you a date because you are in a vulnerable situation. Try to find an activity that distracts you and takes your mind away from the divorce you just went through. I’m sure that after a few months you yourself will feel like associating with the opposite gender.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I have just met a wonderful guy post my divorce. I haven’t broken the news of my recent separation with my husband, fearing judgment. How do i come clean without jeopardizing my relation with him.
    According to me, you should confess to that guy about your broken marriage. If you plan on starting a new move in your life with him, then you should definitely tell him each and everything about your previous relationship throwing away all the barriers of shame and insecurities. Lying about your marriage and pretending in front of him that you had never been married is not a good option. I know it takes more courage to reveal the harsh truth of an iffy relationship with the most important person of your life. The rest depends on that guy. If that guy really cares for you and has special feelings in his heart, he will definitely accept you no matter whatever your past was.  
  • Louis Krohn answered
    I am attracted to my mother in law. I think she is attracted to me too. She is giving me some signals. Should i make a move?
    NO! This is not a path you would like to travel down. To begin with, if she is giving you signals, it means that you have a terrible person as a mother-in-law. The second possible school of thought is that you are misinterpreting her intentions big time! Its okay to find someone attractive but having it in a relation that makes it incestious is an embarrassing feeling to be had. It’s not ‘empowering’ or ‘freeing’. Sure, there is no set definition of what is and isn’t incest, but if you resort to calling her a ‘mother’, it would be better for you to hold up the sanctity of the designation that you’ve given her. It doesn’t matter what she feels but you as a daughter-in-law have a default responsibility of letting this feeling back to the dark depths from where it emerged and suppress it enough until its a bygone and forgotten thought. It is also better for you to stay away from her for the time-being as ignored feelings fade with time.  
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