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  • 1200 Points

IdkWhy42

  • IdkWhy42 asked
    How to stop being uptight and shy about sex?
    My boyfriend and I have discussed exhibitionism (having someone watch us have sex) and while I want to try it, we're having trouble finding someone who I would be okay with. He suggested someone we know, and I turned it down because that person is just too close of a friend for me to be comfortable with it. I've always been a bit shy, and I feel apprehensive about letting someone see me naked (or him naked for that matter.) I feel like when I say no when he asks for something, I'm disappointing him. I worry I'm complicating everything, but I don't know how to let go of my anxiety. I feel like such a failure, and that if I keep upsetting him, he's going to get sick of it. What can I do to stop being so uptight?
  • IdkWhy42 asked
    I don't know if I'm complimenting my fiance the right way.
    I want to compliment his body, and I feel like what I say is going to come off the wrong way. He's a bit heavy-set, and I'm really into that, it's always been my type. I want to tell him that I'm attracted to it, "Your stomach is sexy," "I love how thick you are," etc, but I feel like telling him he isn't in perfect shape will come off as an insult, even if I say I like it. Am I just overthinking this, or should I find a better way to word things?
  • IdkWhy42 asked
    How to stop being uptight and shy about sex?
    My boyfriend and I have discussed exhibitionism (having someone watch us have sex) and while I want to try it, we're having trouble finding someone who I would be okay with. He suggested someone we know, and I turned it down because that person is just too close of a friend for me to be comfortable with it. I've always been a bit shy, and I feel apprehensive about letting someone see me naked (or him naked for that matter.) I feel like when I say no when he asks for something, I'm disappointing him. I worry I'm complicating everything, but I don't know how to let go of my anxiety. I feel like such a failure, and that if I keep upsetting him, he's going to get sick of it. What can I do to stop being so uptight?
  • IdkWhy42 asked
    Pros and Cons of Voyeurism/Exhibitionism?
    My partner wants to try having someone watch us have sex. The other person/people wouldn't get involved, they would only watch. I'm not sure if I want to do it or not. What pros and cons can you give me to decide?
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    Feeling suicidal after break up
    How long have you two been broken up? How many people (friends and family) have you seen since then? It sounds like you've shut yourself off from the world, and as much as you want to do that, you need to get out and talk to people.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    My Wife has cheated on me for 2 years
    What is the decision she needs a month to make? If it's been going on this long, and she has kept going back to him, you need to cut things off with her as soon as you can. The children will be better off with separated parents than with parents who resent each other, and you can still see them without being with her. It sounds like you've already decided you want a divorce, so end it and tell her you want things to end smoothly enough for the sake of your kids. You can still be parents without being a couple.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    ​I saw my sister's profile on one of those matchmaking sites
    Is your sister presenting herself in a bad way? "Security purposes" makes it sound like she's giving away too much information about herself. If she's posting inappropriate photos, giving out personal information, or just on the site for the wrong reasons, then you should stop her. But if she's simply looking for love, she isn't doing anything wrong. You should definitely talk to her first about why you're concerned and try to be calm and reasonable with her. Explain how you feel about what she's doing, and try to understand how she feels as well.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    I saw my best friend kissing my girlfriend.
    It sounds like you're in the right. If you really think you should hear them out, be stern and do not let them manipulate you. If it's a bunch of, "(S)he kissed me, I didn't kiss her/him," "It was the heat of the moment," "My lips have a mind of their own," nonsense, cut them off.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    She's an online video game addict and I hate it.
    If she spent almost an entire day on it and is neglecting you and every other aspect of her life, then she has a serious problem. You have to sit down with her and tell her how you feel and what you think will happen to her (health, worklife, your relationship) if she keeps this up. Make it clear that you're worried about the state she's in and try to communicate why.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    What is my husband trying to tell me.
    You said you're still in love with him "for some stupid reason" and that you're hurt. He wants you to really think about whether or not you actually want him back. He knows that you're still in a fragile state from the cheating, fighting, etc. He wants to make sure you can forgive him and trust him again. Clear your head and realistically think about what the relationship will be like if you continue it.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    How do I express my feelings creatively?
    Something like a card for her could work if you aren't certain about vocalizing your feelings. If you do want to actually tell her, it could help to write and plan out what you plan to say. Bring her flowers or a small gift. Nothing too extravagant, just something to show that you're thinking of her.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    Disrespectful relation in my married life
    Clearly, your husband is the problem. If he can't change, then divorce is the reasonable thing to do. If you're looking for a more stable financial situation before you leave, it will help to talk to your family about your situation and ask for their help and support as well.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    Our anniversary is coming. I need ideas!
    Surprises don't always have to be huge for them to be special and romantic. Have you thought of a more personal gift? If you're the artistic type, you could make her something, like drawing/painting a picture of the two of you (it doesn't have to be that realistic.) Think about some of her interests, for example, something I did for my fiance's birthday was that I put together a "movie night kit." It was a box of popcorn, movie theatre candies, sodas, and DVDs of the first six Star Wars movies (he's a big fan.) She would appreciate something sentimental like that, and acknowledge the effort and thought you put into it.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    My husband and I can’t agree on how to help daughter with anxiety
    You should both sit down with your daughter and talk about what she's been going through. Ask her to explain why she wants to go to therapy, and you can talk to your husband about the benefits that it could bring. This way, he gets to hear from her and understand why she wants/needs a professional.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    I’m so jealous and I don’t know how to deal with it
    First, if you desire a better job, you can go back over your resume and think about all the other places around you that could be hiring. About the men you date, taking some time off from dating and relationships to focus on yourself for a while will help you feel more independent and confident. If the jealousy is really eating at you, talking with a friend (or an online counselor) can help you get all of your thoughts out in the open so that you can process them better and find ways to overcome them.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    Emotionally Gone
    You really need to find a therapist. Not a counselor for you both, but a professional that YOU talk to and that can help you. You've been through a lot, and you need to seek help from someone who has experience with these things.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    My husband and I can't agree on our baby's name.
    You could put together one of your names and one of his. Jason Joey, or something like that.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    How can I recover from losing them?
    Spending time with your family/close friends can be a great help for someone in your situation. If it gets worse, it could be time to talk to a therapist.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    What do I do?
    Talk to your husband first, having him understand first will help you figure out just how to handle things with your in-laws. Also, if things don't go over well with them, he will stick by your side and help ease some of the tension.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    What do I do?
    Talk to your husband first, having him understand first will help you figure out just how to handle things with your in-laws. Also, if things don't go over well with them, he will stick by your side and help ease some of the tension.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    Found a picture of my husband with a co-worker.
    Have you met the woman? It's normal to feel concerned about something like this, but you may feel more at ease if you were to get to know her personally yourself. That way you'll be more trusting of her and know that she isn't interested in your husband.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    Hanging out with ex-gf's friends
    While the tension between you and your ex may still be an issue, these people are now your friends as well. Talking to her about the situation could help by showing her that your friends shouldn't have to be "burdened" as you said for something they weren't involved with.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    She's no longer wearing our wedding ring.
    Talk to her. Ask her if there's a reason for it, and explain how it's been making you feel.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    my gf wants me to masturebate for her is that ok?
    It should be. If she wants to watch you, that's just what she's into. You should give it a chance if you're open to it, but if you're not comfortable with it, you should tell her.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    Husband wears my underwear, lipstick & uses my toys?!
    It is not okay that he's messaging people and paying for live cams. You need to tell him to cut that out of his life if he wants to stay with you. It isn't a bad thing that he cross dresses, or wants to use your toys (although he should definitely ask you and also clean them after,) but if he's looking for people outside of marriage, that's a huge red flag.
  • IdkWhy42 answered
    What should a sexually active married man do when his wife is not interested in sex
    Talk to your wife to find out why she isn't interested. Don't put blame on her, sometimes you're just not in the mood, but try to see if there's a bigger reason. In the meantime, masturbation is always a good thing, you can figure out what you like and better communnicate that to your wife.
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