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Asked by Last Updated:

Need help talking to my husband

My husband is not emotionally supportive of me.
When he hurts my feelings or knows I’m upset, he runs about as far as he can from me.
Never just comes to see how I am, or apologize on his own.
He will avoid me until I’ve given up and he thinks the problem has been swept under the rug again.
He says mean hurtful things when we fight, then tell me we just need to move on, why do I need to talk about everything?? He hates how emotional I am, and has told me I’m too sensitive, if I wasn’t so sensitive then my feelings wouldn’t be hurt.
How can I talk to him about how hurtful this is? I’ve tried so many times but it never changes.
I tried to talk to him about something that bothered me tonight and he got defensive, and I asked him if later on when he wasn’t upset I could talk to him and explain how I’m feeling and what he said was, no I’m not interested in that.
He just went upstairs to the spare room to sleep and didn’t even say good night or I love you.
All because HE did something that was hurtful and I wanted to talk about it.
 What can I do?!? Help.
 

1 Answers

CindyBaker Answered:

Clearly, he is not as vocal or demonstrative as you are, the best fix would be to start building an emotional, solid support system outside the marriage - friends. Build solid friendships with like-minded people who you can reach out to when you need a vent. Marriage doesn't mean blocking out other people out of your life. Be more inclusive of other happy associations in your life and also pick an interesting hobby or an exercise routine. Work out is a great way to trigger those happy hormones and keep stress at bay. You can bend backwards and would still not be able to make your husband come around be the person you want him to be. Just let him be, and when he sees how you are able to combat your stress and disappointments in life minus his involvement, he might just come around to be more appreciative of your spirit!

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