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Asked by Last Updated:

Should I let my husband go on ski trip with his female friends when I wasn't invited?

My husband was recently invited on a weekend ski trip with "some people from work".
Before agreeing to it, I enquired who was going and learned that the trip was organized by a few women he works with, spouses were not invited, and everyone would be staying together in the same condo.
It was meant to be a boozy / fun ski trip nothing to do with work at all.
To top it off, 2 months previously I had told my husband that I had some concerns that he was attracted to one of the women going on the trip (first time in 15 years I've never doubted him before).
I didn't let him go, for obvious reasons I think it was cruel of him to suggest it knowing how I felt about the other woman.
HOWEVER, my question is Is it appropriate for a mixed group of married / adult friends to go on a trip and not invite spouses? We're all in our 40's here, most of us married with children.
Is this not inappropriate, almost juvenile behaviour? I feel incredibly angry about it all, and it's made me suspicous about the women that organized it.
   

1 Answers

Emily Rodes Answered:

Clearly you are not a suspicious or jealous wife if you have only ever doubted your husband once in a 15-year marriage, and for the record, I wouldn't have felt comfortable letting my husband go on a trip like that with a woman I had concerns about, nor would any wife.
Furthermore, your husband probably would not have been comfortable with the circumstances if the roles were reversed, either. This is likely why he declined the trip.
As to your question, is it appropriate for a mixed group or married adult friends to go on a trip without their spouses?
It depends.
If they were all childhood friends or close friends who have been friends for years then it's totally normal to plan a getaway. But for a bunch of workmates? It seems pretty strange not to have spouses included in the getaway, especially for the couples who have children.
There's a great article about emotional affairs that you may want to go over with your hubby. I'm not saying he's having an emotional affair, but going over the information in the article (found here: https://www.marriage.com/advice/counseling/when-does-a-friendship-become-an-emotional-affair/) will help him understand your reservations about him and his co-worker.
I hope that helps!

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