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Asked by Last Updated:

Husband says I've broken his trust

A few years ago my husband and I were attempting to have children.
My OBGYN ask that he have a sperm analysis done.
My Dr called me and told me the results.
I told friends at work that day and told my husband soon as I saw him.
Two days later he came into my work for lunch and two female coworkers asked him how his swimmers were doing.
He became extremely angry that I told them.
Also turns out my Dr had no legal reason to tell me my husband's test results without his consent.
The Dr is now being sued by my husband for breaching HIPA laws.
Now my husband says if he had cancer I'd be the last person he told.
Our marriage is on very bad terms which people have said it's likely my fault.
I think my husband is blowing much of this out of proportion.
What can I do for say?

3 Answers

Kwaps2017 Answered:

I see his point, often for men their swimmers as you say are a huge part of their validity as a man. My friend is going through fertility at the minute and her hubbie is just mortified at the thought he might not be performing and i know how much of a big deal this has been for him so i think it's important to acknowlegde that you have breached his trust and in onesty i think telling him was a priority not the work colleagues and i also understand how something as important as that he feels like it should have been his decision to tell who and when he wanted. Fertility is often something opeople feel embarassed about sharing or admitting issues with. I think you need to put the shoe on the other foot, if you had an embrassing private issue with your fertility or private area and your husband told the lads at work after getting YOUR results would you not feel a little violated. I would.. Acknowledge your error, apologise and work to build the trust up again.

Ted1234 Answered:

Yes, it was definitely wrong on your part to reveal such an intimate detail about your husband to your friends. This must have hurt his pride clearly because he went as far as suing the doctor for revealing that information to you-'his wife'! There is no sugar coating that your marriage is indeed in trouble. Try and convince your husband to see a couples therapist or counselor. You problems can no longer be solved between just the two of you.

Ran42 Answered:

legal issues aside, he is overreacting but as a man you hurt his pride and it seems he is still holding a grudge, try to talk to him about it is the best you can do

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