At what point do you think your lifestyle should start settling down?
I have been married for almost 4 months and already feel I have made a mistake.
This should be the happiest time in my life, but instead, I am panicking.
I have known my husband for 10 years and have been together for 3/5.
He has always been a little rowdy, going out, partying drinking.
I thought he was a good balance for me at the time because I wanted more fun in my life while I was young.
But he's always said he'd settle down.
We talked extensively about our future and what we wanted.
We both wanted kids, I would work part-time to be home with them more.
We agreed on finances, which we already share.
We own a home together, we've lived together for 2/5 years.
Fast forward to now, we have gotten older and I would like your lifestyle to slow down.
Like we talked about.
He is 28 so he's had over a decade of partying.
We are currently trying to conceive and I was so excited.
But he hasn't slowed down at all.
He sees no problem with being a married man out at the bar until close and blacking out.
All of our friends are now married with children.
And now he thinks they are 'lame' and never wants to see them.
He hangs out different people who like to drink with him.
He only wants to do anything that involves drinking.
He has a binge drinking problem.
He can't just have a couple of drinksm he has to be wasted.
And he will tell you that, but he seems to have no desire to stop.
It hurts me that he knows it upsets me but chooses to do it anyway.
He says he'll slow down when we have kids.
But as we have been actively trying, he hasn't shown any sign of that.
Why should I trust that our kids will be enough to keep him at home sober on a weekend? Am I just going to end up home by myself with our kids all the time while he's at the bar? I don't want that.
He's not slowing down as we agreed.
When I tell him that we're getting older and our lifestyle has to change with the things we want in life, he disregards me.
I tell him I don't think it's normal that he's out all the time, no one we know is doing that.
Then he tells me 'that's my version of normal and doesn't make what he's doing wrong'.
Am I crazy? Have I ruined my life? Do I get out now before there are children involved or stick it out and hope we can work on this?
There are different ways in which you can stop people from drinking. However, only a knowledgable person can answer you regarding this. As far as the kids concern, There are people who changes after having a family, but what if they doesn't. It's better for you to take a back seat when it comes to having kids an focus more on reducing his drinking habits. Visit a doctor or concerned perosn and ask about how you can stop your husband from excessive drinking so that he realizes that he need to be responsible to have a happy family.