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Asked by Last Updated:

MY 28 YO HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT ME SEXUALLY

I have been going out with him for 5 years and we got married for 2/5 years now.
He wasn't very sexually active with me the entire time.
I have asked my friends before but they just said that maybe he is not a horny individual.
To be fair, I fell in love with him that way too.
I have huge boobs (for an Asian) and I always get unwanted attention from boys.
I used to feel kinda sad that men only like me sexually and their eyes often drift when they talk to me.
But when I got to know my husband 7/5 years ago, I found that he was a sincere person who is interested in me - like me inside but not the way I look.
He loved me ardently, and he asked me to marry him.
All was perfect until a few months back, I found that whatever I do, I irritate him.
He started being impatient with me, he rejects my sexual advances, he doesn't even want to be near me.
When I touch him in a non-sexual way, he would just push me away citing that it is hot, he wipes away my kisses saying he doesn't like saliva when I lean on him, he says my head is too heavy, etc & I think the thing that upsets me most is his attitude.
He is just so impatient at me and irritated when I didn't even do anything to deserve that.
He used to be a nice and patient man.
I tried to find out why.
He doesn't talk much, so I went shooting a lot of questions.
& one of the questions I asked was "Are you sexually frustrated?" & he replied "yes".
I was broke & I went on to ask why? I am curious because I always make myself available to him but he never really wanted to have sex with me.
Throughout the entire time, I had gone on to the internet to learn how to give perfect blowjobs and how to satisfy my husband in bed.
More often than not, my attempts didn't go on too well.
I feel neglected too.
He would just cum and walk away to wash and go to bed without even satisfying my sexual needs.
Sometimes, when he wants to have sex, he wouldn't even get me ready before he enters me.
Sometimes, when I feel like having sex, he would reject me by falling asleep when I was trying to get him aroused.
I feel unwanted and hurt.
He never calls me beautiful, he never looks at me.
& NOW he tells me that it is because he NEVER found me sexually attractive.
He DOES NOT LIKE BOOBS OR MY SHAPE.
HE LIKES PETITE GIRLS.
I am nothing petite.
I have big boobs, small waist, big hips, big thighs, big hands, I basically have a big frame.
(He is small btw) He says it is hard for him to get turned on by me, it is hard for him to have sex with me because I am not his ideal type.
He says he is increasingly sad about his life, seeing that it is a hole in his life.
He can never get the sex he wanted.
I am so hurt.
Why then did you ask me to marry you? I asked.
He replied because he finds my inner me a wonderful person who made him a better person too and that he loves me so very much.
I just wonder why can't he love me now too? Why can't he love all of me too? Why did he ask me to marry me and push me away now? Why? I have been crying every day for the past 2 weeks and I really need help now.
Please help me! What should I do? I can never be petite.
If we stay in this marriage, both of us will be sexually frustrated and I will be emotionally hurt that I am not beautiful to him.
If we get separated, I will still be sad because I love him so so much.
Either way, I will be sad anyway.
& I am also sad now because he is no longer certain about me, he is actually reconsidering about us.

1 Answers

Kriti Sharma Answered:

Well, you should give him some time. He loves your heart more than your body. You should respect his feelings and if he pushes you away, don't get close to him. It's best to give him time but never stop caring and loving him. Self-respect should be on first priority. Maybe he's frustrated because of a hectic schedule or something else. If he doesn't come back to you, then leave him. 

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