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Asked by Last Updated:

Which way do i go?

Married for 18 years, the last 14 years have been basically sexless.
12 to 14 times a year.
My attempts to engage her have been shut down 100% of the time.
I think that rejection has conditioned me.
Im not attracted to my wife the way i used to be.
She is perfect in every other aspect of our marriage and family life.
I do love her, but i cannot stay with her.
Im conflicted.
75% of me is already gone, but 25% has me anchored.
I dont know what the right decision is.

2 Answers

Gwen09 Answered:

You haven't said why she doesn't want to have sex. After 18 years I'm sure you must have discussed it with her and discovered why it is. If it is because she's not sexually attracted to you, I wonder how happy she is in the marriage. How is she towards you when you are around other people? Alot of people are in marriages where one person does not love or feel the same way about the other. You've been with this woman for 18 years if you leave you will be alone and have alot of grief to work through. It's hard to hear but you have waiTed a long time to come to this point so something must have kept you there. Do you have children? I think that if you do that is what may have made you stay. I think you need to weigh up and this is being brutally honest if you will be alone or if you would be able to meet someone else who is eligible at your age and if you have kids if you would be able to deal with having shared custody. I guess what I'm saying is don't jump out of the pot into the fire. Look at what you will be giving up for what?? I'm not saying it's a bad decision to leave I'm just saying be aware of what you will be going to and have to go through.

Ted1234 Answered:

Sexual intimacy is extremely important for a healthy married life. No matter how long you have been married, with sex, no marriage can go on forever. You must have a deep conversation with your wife about this. Explain how this dry spell is affecting you and ask her what can you do to make this better. If you can't resolve this between you, then you must seek advice/help from a sex therapist.


Replied on May 03, 2018

I agree with ted1234.
You guys should definitely talk it out or see a counselor and get things straightened out before it gets out of hand.

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