What to say?
My fiancée and I have been living together or a year and a half. She is diagnosed with bipolar and depression and actively seeks treatment on her own fruition. The issue at hand: When we first moved in together she took a substantial amount of time to move her belongings in. Shortly after that she expressed feelings of not feeling at home in our apartment and that it was dominated by my belongings. I again attempted to help unpack her things so that we could even out the living space but she fought it so I stopped. Eventually we were able to hang pictures equaling half and half both our ideas. The living room shortly there after became her office, not my decision. The apartment essentially became her throw area and nevertheless she still showed expressions of not being comfortable and feeling "unhomey". She wanted to bring her dance pole in from storage so I threw out a lay-z-boy that we equally hated to make space and she decided against the pole. She said she wanted a desk to match mine and I found 3 options that would have fit perfectly here and she changed her mind. She said she wanted a nicer staging area for her things so I threw out an old dining room table that's sole purpose had become her ditch station and bought a shelf that she liked. She said she loved the new set up and 12 hours later informed me that she's not going to use any of the set up. This morning she approached me and said, "We need to do a better job of sharing our combined space. I feel uncomfortable and dominated by your things." Mind you ALL of my possessions are tucked into one corner of the apartment at my desk. I then pointed out that our living room was dominated by only her things, our bedroom is 75% covered in heaping piles of her clothes, and that every other shared area is comprised of equally our things. She cited 3 cases that seemed to not actually exist. In example, two people are walking by a creek and one says, "Look its a magenta frog." The other person looks at it and clearly sees that the frog is basic everyday frog green. That dude explains , "No that frog is definitely just green. There is literally no magenta frog here." The illusionist replies, " Thats you're opinion. That is a magenta frog." .................................. .......................................................................................................................... Speaking only in regards to reason wouldn't the magenta seeing person be a little off? 1) I have engaged her in a multitude of conversations and physical actions to try and find something to help her feel comfortable with nothing in return to then only be blamed for not helping or causing the problem. 2) She has shown undeniable traits of blatent ignorance in regards to facts. 3) She is certain that none of this or any other perplexing situation that arises in our relationship has anything to do with a mental illness. 4) Half of her boxes are still unpacked..... So the question: Am I fucking nuts, is my partner taking action or a lack there of due to mental illness, or is this just how things are? This is the person who I love and want to be with but god DAMN I am baffled at how to communicate with her in these situations. Im tired. Does anyone have experience or the equivalent? All is appreciated.
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