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Asked by Last Updated:

Husband bought an appartment behind my back. Is this acceptable behavior?

Hello, I have been married for 5 years with my husband.
We are both working and we have a prenup agreement, so we have a common account and personal accounts.
Recently I found out that my husband bought an appartment for rent with his own money and with a mortgage.
He told me about it only after he made all arrangement behind my back and the bank will not give him a morgage if I do not give signature confirming my knowledge about his house purchase and mortgage.
I felt betrayed by him, since eventhough we have separate finances, decisions such as lending a large amount of money from the bank and getting a new house is a very big decision and he did not even consult me.
After the house purchase was made my husband had literally no more money since he gave his last cent savings towards the house, so we ended up paying all monthly expenses (food, rent, utilities) solely from my salary.
It has been going on for 2 months.
I know this is temporary since in the upcoming months things will be stable again when he gets his salary.
Nevertheless, this increases my resentment towards him since yet this is another proof, he puts his selfish financial ambition above our marriage and that he does not mind burdening me for it.
Am I over reacting? Any advise what I should do at this time? I lost all trust in him, and I do not think I can get pass this since I am convince that this financial selfishness of him will happen again in the future.
I am contemplating divorce since financial infidelity is not something I can live with.
I would be greatful for any help and advise.
it will help me be more objective and be less emotional in making my decision.
Right now I do not even know what is acceptable behavior anymore.
Thank you.

1 Answers

Ted1234 Answered:

Hi It goes without saying that your husband did not do the right thing by not discussing this issue with you. But, contemplating divorce at this stage may not be the best thing to do. If this house is meant for the both of you, it is a reason for you to possibly forgive him. However, you must discuss with him at length to let him know about your concerns and worries about financial infidelity. Generally, communication does wonders in such situations. Breaking up a marriage is not really the best thing to do right away. Find out and share your issues with your partner.

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