How do I get my husband to stop depending on his parents?
I recently got married.
My husband and I were friends and coworkers for four years before we became a couple.
I am 33, and my husband is 27.
I've been married once before, and have three children from that marriage.
I've lived on my own since I was 17.
My husband still lived with his parents when we started dating and has no children.
So when it comes to independence and maturity, we are vastly different.
I love my husband very much.
We work well together, we have fun together, we handle finances well together, he is very loving and sweet to me, and our sex life is amazing.
My only problem is that he is so immature and dependent on his parents! All he wants to do when we're not working is play video games, and he complains when he is interrupted from it.
Also, he believes everything his parents say, even if it's wrong, and won't believe anything anyone else says unless he asks his parents first to "make sure.
" He makes little effort to think for himself despite my encouragement to do so.
I ask him all the time what he thinks about something or what he wants to do and he always says "I don't know" or "I don't care" or "Whatever you want.
" In his defense, his mother has told him his entire life that he can't do anything right on his own, pretty much destroyed his self confidence and has done everything you can think of to keep him from moving out on his own.
He is the youngest of her three children.
I just want my husband to grow up and be able to do anything on his own without asking his parents and without asking me! Any advice?
As a wife you should try to instill confidence in your husband to start taking decisions on his own and not depend on any one for advice or direction. This may take time as it is an old habit for him to depend on his parents for everything. You need to be patient and encouraging. You must also understnad his situation and try to accept his behaviour. I mean this must have been the case even when you were dating. But now taht you are married, it is okay for you to ask him to change this trait. Just be pateint and understanding with your husband.