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Asked by Last Updated:

I had a kid with an ex-lover. How do I tell my girlfriend?

My girlfriend and I have been together for about six months now.
We met on LoveMe over a year ago.
We started out as friends and eventually got together.
She’s a really great girl; smart, understanding, nice, appealing, and more positive attributes.
The problem right now is that she doesn’t know about my three-year-old child that I had with an ex.
It’s not like I was trying to hide it from her.
I just didn’t get the chance to open up to her about my boy.
I also don’t have much opportunity to introduce him to video chat since he lives and stays with his mom most days.
I started hinting at her about children.
Maybe she thought I wanted kids or maybe she took it as a sign that I have a kid.
My ex-girlfriend’s okay with me seeing someone since she’s already with someone else herself.
She told me I should introduce our kid to my girlfriend as soon as possible.
I think she’s right.
What if my girlfriend doesn’t like the idea of me having a child with someone else? At least I would know ahead, right? How do I tell my girlfriend that I already have a son? I want to reassure her that my obligations with my child won’t be a problem for us.
I want to give her the assurance that despite the constant communication between me and my ex-girlfriend, nothing will happen.
I need help from anyone.
Any advice will do.

1 Answers

CindyBaker Answered:

Hi! It's best you come up clean about your kid with your ex-girlfriend, as soon as possible. You won't want her to know from some other source. It's bound to come up sooner or later. Start by telling her that this is something that happened long back when she was nowhere in the picture. Tell her that because of some reasons you had to part ways but because you have a child, as a father you are required to dispense your duties. It would be very unfair and irresponsible to do otherwise. also, add and reassure her that there is no way you are getting back to your ex. Tell her that your ex is in a very happy space with someone else, just as you are with your current girlfriend. assure her that you would never trade it for anything else. She will take time, but will gradually come around to it.

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